I have had several successful sd/sb relationships. At the end of the day, there has to be trust and a genuine connection. I have read a number of versions of this discussion and the people that are anti sd/sb seem to fall under two categories. The women are unhappy because they think a sd has the right to control y,our life, and the men are unhappy because they feel it is a power struggle to keep from getting ripped off. I'll give you the same advice that I give women. Have a meal your first meeting. With the understanding between you that there will be nothing going on after. And stick to it. Wthout the pressure you will be able to see if you like to spend time with her, and she with you. If she is just looking for a hustle she will ask for cash. Pass! I would also recommend that you bring with you a *small* gift or card with a token amount in it. Keep it til you are leaving. If you like her, give it to her, thank her for the company and go.
The biggest mistake that I have found is a lack of respect on both sides. A good sd/sb relationship can be really amazing, and I genuinely care for the men that I have had that with. Good luck!
Originally Posted by SillyGirl
Good Advice thanks
Be prepared the SD/SB thing seems easy to find expecially on your end but ive heard some stories not scary persay but dampening to say the least. Good luck on your search though!
Originally Posted by JayceeRivers
Jaycee is right on target, from the perspective of an employee who worked for a man that had a long term SD/SB relationship, make good choices, especially if you own the company.
One of my friends has an SD that she sees about once a week and he heckles her via text message constantly. He's rarely nice to her except when giving her an "allowance" each time they visit. I don't think any amount of money is worth someone harassing you and stressing you out EVERY day via text message. I don't think that's how the relationship is supposed to work.
Would love to find a good SB have someone who would like to go on benefit rides,maybe go fishing,or go on a trip on occasion.Have tried sites and struck out .
Allie,
Any good SB/SD relationship shouldn't be that way and your friend needs to stop putting up with it.
I've had a few wonderful SB/SD relationships, but we were both honest about what we were looking for.
It seems like it would be easier to simply find a provider you really like and have a couple days or evenings a week that you set aside for date night.
I have some great provider relationships and greatly value them. I'm thinking about what things I like about my SB relationships that are different...couple things come to mind:
- sometimes I like to go on a date prior to bedroom fun...my SB's like that too and I'm not paying hourly for time spent at dinner/movie/drinks
- flexibility of the "arrangement"...sometimes my SB's aren't asking for cash to spend time together...sometimes they just want a night out or a shopping trip once in a while...every one is different
- inexperience...I've occasionally shown an SB something new in the bedroom :-)
Again, this is not at all a dig at my provider friends, merely illustrating some differences that I enjoy. Vive la difference!
Elena, I've told her she should ditch him but she's been putting up with him for around 3 yrs now so I guess she feels he's worth the hassle. lol. I still don't see it though.
I have tried it a few times before never turned out all that grand....a lot of times SD's treat you like they own you and you owe them....but then again some are ok...i think it's a good thing if you find the right fit for you and what you are wanting!!
Oh come on ladies....and gents. The SD/SB thing can be awesome.
Of course the proper SD does not own the rights to his SB...and btw, the same is for the other way around. Need to paint the picture both ways.
If a lady continues to stay in an unhealthy situation, first off shame on the jerk SD for treating her that way.
But also shame on the lady for letting her greed factor but such, that she allows the asshole SD to treat her like that.
Im with bustycici I tried it. I found more complications. Honestly it was like looking for a gray needle in a stack of black and white needles. Just impossible *laughs* but then I am on the female side of the fense and as I mentioned before alot of SD's are rightfully hesitant as they themselves have encountered alot of discouragement along the way
If it was easy...everyone on both sides would be exploring it
But when it works, for both parties....OH BABY what fun and rewards for all
Relationships based on obligations lack dignity. At least in the hobby, nobody feels like they're getting the short end of the stick (no pun intended).
I agree with the Captain. I find that the hobby has far less drama involved. I've tried the sd thing twice, and both times it was fun while it lasted. But eventually it started to become an obligation and then it wasn't fun anymore.
Relationships based upon obligations lack dignity.....that line has all sorts of funny responses to, lol.
Like so many other things...SD/SB friendships can be both a blessing as well as a curse.
Sorry you guys have never experience the healthy kind....but make no mistake, they are out there. Just takes time and experience to know when the pieces are going to work, and when they are not going to work
As well as the ability to communicate, not only in the beginning, but thru out the friendship. And a very simple understanding of how the rules work, for both parties.
Once the feeling of "an obligation" occurs, what you have is a failure to communicate. Not at the time of drama or trouble, but way back at the very beginning of the friendship.
