More Expensive??....Dating vs. Seeing a Provider

Then there's the Black Sedan dating plan:

Step 1: Meet her for a drink or two. Talk. Flirt. Talk. Leave with a passionate kiss and a promise to wait for her other date to end.

Step 2: Some other schlub buys her a fancy dinner and a couple of drinks.

(Step 2A: During date with Schlub, she texts you back and forth on the sly)

(That Poor Schlub gets a hug)

Step 3: Pick her up for dancing/band/party.

Step 4: Go home with her about 2:30 am and get busy the rest of the night.

Step 5: Breakfast.

Total cost: $0 :You buy your OWN drinks, she runs her own tab so she can respect herself. Sure there's some gas and safety supplies, the odd valet/parking fee.

Lang Sicherung, I think you are right, I've never had the misfortune to be in a life situation without "game".

Couple weeks ago I had a shot at a "Real world" threesome. Took them out, clubbing, dinner, drinks. Booking two ladies would've been cheaper. But a man has to try.....

I recently dated this girl for about 6 months and saw that I averaged about $200 a week in spending when I went out with her. When we broke up I thought, well now that Im single that will be a extra $200 a week I can reinvest in my photography equipment, but now Im spending $600 to $800 a week in the hobby. Originally Posted by freakwincy

oops!

And we value your patronage! xoxo

If you are a highly desirable man (looks, power, "game", whatever makes you desirable), then civilian dating is cheaper than hobbying. From the perspective of the quality of women you will date, and the frequency/quality of sex that will come pretty fast in the relationship, typically without committment.

If you are fugly and average joe, hobbying is cheaper. For this man, you have to work you ass off (and spend bucu $$) to impress, and typically the only point you "get some" is when you are committed.

Trust me. I have 25 years of research experience and a Ph.D. in this area. Originally Posted by Lang Sicherung

I see the truth in this.

It costs me half as much in the civilian world as it does in the hobby world. If I want a specific hair color, body type, and guaranteed PSE skills...i'll fork over the dollars and get a pro, but if its all about the hunt and landing a fresh lady with alot of unknowns in the bedroom...then it can be done for under $100 and no future investment necessary. Second encounter...movie night, popcorn, a bottle of wine...you're out about $40 bucks tops.

The difference between a $150 meal and a $350 meal is ...$200 bucks. Chances of getting laid aren't going to shift unless you're trying really hard to impress a girl thats never seen the inside of the French Room.

Best deal: Providers. No muss, no fuss. I know what to expect and I get what I came for and have a great time.
Next best: Sugar Baby. A little mussier and fussier, but still matches expectations and I get to spend a little more time (but also money!)
Not so good: The dating scene. Hit and miss. Costly. Different expectations and results. I just don't have the patience for the game any more.
The worst: Marriage. First then engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and then the suffer-ring. And it'll cost you half of everything you own if it doesn't work. On a per schtup basis, the most expensive; both in terms of money and emotional capital.

Jeez, I'm such a romantic bastard these days.

Couple weeks ago I had a shot at a "Real world" threesome. Took them out, clubbing, dinner, drinks. Booking two ladies would've been cheaper. But a man has to try..... Originally Posted by Hercules

There's your problem... you paid for them. You probably could have had the threesome if you had just cut out the bullshit, and did something that didn't cost any coin.

Seriously, learn guys. Civvies don't sleep with the guys that wine and dine them, for a good long time.

The only time I've ever done approached "picking up the tab" is with a girlfriend, and her beautiful friend - birthday for the friend, she wanted to go to a SC, her boyfriend did not. Good times. They paid for their own drinks, I just bought a couple rounds of dances. It's a rare corner-case exception...

There is an old joke,
The diference between a housewife and a prostitute is that a prostitute engages in short term contracts with multiple customers, an a housewife engages in a long term contract with one customer.

There is n such thing as free sex. You will pay for it one way or the other.

To answer the question of the original post, one must first ask the question:
"What do you want? Relief or romance?"

If you seek Relief, go hobby. Why break some poor civvie's heart just to get your rocks off. Civvies are more expensive with no guarantees.

If you seek romance, go civillian. With most escorts, it's just business. If you are one of those guys like me who has trouble separating his heart from his hard-on, you will simply get your heart broken, which I do, month after month after month...

You may ask, "What if I want both?"
That only happens in hollywood movies. I take that back, there are those unique moments of passionate sex that do take place in a relationships, but it is not the standard. If all couples did have good sex on a regular basis, we wouldn't have commercials on tv for K-Y intense would we?

As an off-tangent comment, I find it interesting that nobody mentioned that in a long term monogamous civillian relationship, you have the pleasure of bareback sex, something you dont find in the hobby, unless you're willing to risk death for it.

Yes there's bareback sex in a long term relationship but there's also kids coming in because they're "scared" of noises and I can't recall the last BBBJNQNS!

Well, to add to this thread; On average a couple would go out on a date about 5 times before "she" decides she wants to take the relationship to the next level. Do the math on that one folks. And people ask me why I hobby.

To quote an old, if not particularly genteel saying, "Whorehouse pussy is the cheapest pussy in the world."

On the one hand, if you took a pro to dinner, the comedy club, then home for BCD fun, you would probably be into about a grand for the night, more if she stayed all night. That's a lot of cheddar for an evening with a lady, sure thing or not. Also, everyone is discounting that half the money spent in the OP example is for his dinner, drinks, and comedy.

I enjoy going out for a nice meal, I enjoy comedy club entertainment, and I enjoy doing these things in the company of a sexy lady. The cost of doing it with a provider renders that option way beyond my means.

If I didn't see any value in enjoying a night out with a companion, and it was all done in the hope of securing BCD fun later, I'd have to add the time spent on dinner and comedy to the monetary cost, making it a no brainer for just getting a pro. I hope I never become that cynical.

I see provider ads encouraging the dinner date and time spent on social events, and then I look at the price. Usually it is the same or more than BCD time. Those providers who have posted that you are less expensive than dating, please post your price for the example given by the OP.

On the other hand, I do remember what Red Adair said.
"If you think hiring a professional is expensive, wait till you hire an amateur."

Adding up the cost of a date and hoping for some sort of "happy ending" makes me think of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80rW1ZXbPiM

Not sure the numbers are spot on however...

Clean car? If a gent only cleans his car to head out on a date, then he might rethink that program. This falls under normal weekly expenses. So let's take $25 off the total.

Tank of Gas? If a gent only fills his car for a date, then I guess he rides his bicycle everyplace else? (Including provider visits.) And a typical tank of gas will take you 200 to 300 miles. With all of that driving on a date, how did he find time for dinner? This too falls under normal weekly expenses. Delete another $40

Flowers? Nice touch, Costco has great boquets for $15. Deduct another $20

Dinner and Wine: Lots of great places to dine for around $100, but let's be generous. Leave it at $150.

Comedy Club and Drinks: Not sure that's a great date option. Where's the opportunity to chat, establish a rapport...see if any chemistry develops. Plus, with wine at dinner and drinks at the club, who's driving? Museums, outdoors concerts, a stroll at The Shops of Legacy with window shopping, live music and plenty of cocktail opportunities are just a few choices for a little less dinero. (Plus the added benefit of finding out more about each other the whole time, which builds chemistry.) Deduct $75

New total, after deductions: $240 Square in the middle of a bevy of providers prices. (And, the providers rate is for one hour...seems to me that a date like this is over four or five hours, so now even the original $400 is a bargain when you compare!)

Forget about the money. If the only purpose for the date is the outcome of getting horizontal, then maybe a provider is the proper solution. (Sometimes trying that hard to ensure the outcome is a real turn off.) Dating can be a pain, but the opportunity to spend time with a lady you enjoy, is a different scenario than a one hour tryst.

Both have their place, it helps if one knows what they're looking for. Just some random thoughts...

TP

It doesn't need to be a clear cut case for one or the other. There's plenty of room for both! If you are anxious about the ultimate outcome, have blue balls, are feeling exceptionally frisky or just want to get right down to business... well, obviously a provider is your best option.

If you would like some pleasant conversation over dinner, a bit of mystery or challenge about where it's headed, the potential for a "dating" relationship or or even just a night of human contact without a sexual outcome (Yeh, weird, but it could happen)... then clearly dating is your best option.

Now, there is crossover between the two. A provider can be an excellent conversationalist, and a date can be a "sure thing", etc, but you get the idea. Why put limits on your social life? A well rounded gentleman can certainly do both.

Dating civvies is a hell of a lot cheaper, but MORE hit and miss and the process is a pain in the ass. It's such a pain in the ass that a good-looking, well-built but socially lazy guy like me occasionally resorts to seeing providers rather than putting up with the bullshit of women who 'are not whores' and 'wouldn't dream' of having sex for money. If a guy is spending that much to wash his car, to get wine, flowers, and all that other bullshit listing by some blatant pro-hobbyist, then he's crazy.

Managing to do both (see civvies and providers) is the real fun. You just have to have enough game to get laid with the civvie (it may take some time). In the meanwhile, you can get some NOW sex with a provider by making a couple calls.