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I hear what you are saying, but, sometimes that is exactly what they want. The sexual part at that point is NOT the only thing anymore. Originally Posted by chuckinolathe
I get what Chuck is saying, for me, it is not just the sex, if that was it we could masturbate. There is also a desire for intimacy. In my case, I'm not looking for a girlfriend or the love of my life when I see a provider but I am still looking to reach a level of intimacy that goes beyond just the sex. The providers who offer the sex and nothing else are my least favorite experiences. I would actually like to find 2-3 provider who I really like and see just them regularly. I would like to know them a little (real or not) have a feeling of caring and enjoy our time together with the understanding that it is a purchased relationship...but no less real when in the moment, or in the hour. As long as both parties keep the boundaries clearly defined the time together can be great.
There are several forms of hobbyists in my opinion. Those who just want to get off and those who want that but want the fantasy of what could have been or what could be. The very best providers give that illusion of a connection. It is not fake in most cases, they just have a better ability to connect to human beings, thus you feel a connection.

This happens in real business as well, where you make a connection with the owner on a better level than another similar business. Ari provides that sense of girlfriend of what could be.

Think about it. For many people there is this never ending sense of wanting to know what life could be or could have been if different choices were made. This applies to the choice of woman and for woman, men. In this hobby I would imagine that for some woman they run into some decent guys, stable, educated etc.. that may be on different level than what they are normally attracted to in real life. There is an attraction to that. For some men the provider represents a more sexual creature, not maybe what they were used to dating or married to, and this fantasy carries over to what could have been.

At the end of the day some guys would put their dick in a knot hole of tree if they can get off and others want more. What provides stability in raising kids, simplicity void of drama and a simple life also leaves for a fantasy of non stop sex, a wild child and woman that gets into you (at least for an hour) .

That is why this profession has existed since time. What one partner can provide in many areas, they often time simply can't provide in others.
Helicopter206's Avatar
So, this question is for the lovely providers out there. How common is it for providers and clients to get romantically involved with each other? Originally Posted by chuckinolathe


The clients don't become romantic, they become Protective. That is why this site is full of White Knights. This is Drama 101. Stayed tuned and you will see. If a TV station picked up on some of these stories, they could make a great life time series.
Truckman1's Avatar
It happen to me about 5 years ago. I had been see her for about 7 months about every other week for massage+. One day she said she wanted to try something different. Turned into 2 years of being together until she moved away. It is not for everyone dating a provider.
I get what Chuck is saying, for me, it is not just the sex, if that was it we could masturbate. There is also a desire for intimacy. In my case, I'm not looking for a girlfriend or the love of my life when I see a provider but I am still looking to reach a level of intimacy that goes beyond just the sex. The providers who offer the sex and nothing else are my least favorite experiences. I would actually like to find 2-3 provider who I really like and see just them regularly. I would like to know them a little (real or not) have a feeling of caring and enjoy our time together with the understanding that it is a purchased relationship...but no less real when in the moment, or in the hour. As long as both parties keep the boundaries clearly defined the time together can be great. Originally Posted by jaxjags64109
I was completely on board with you, but, I am talking about developing an emotional bound with a provider to the point that the relationship transcends the
Provider/client arrangement. I'm not talking about the "fantasy" of the moment, or the illusion of emotional attachment but two people who actually care about each other.
The clients don't become romantic, they become Protective. That is why this site is full of White Knights. This is Drama 101. Stayed tuned and you will see. If a TV station picked up on some of these stories, they could make a great life time series. Originally Posted by Helicopter206
I'm sorry that you feel this way. Maybe it doesn't happen very often or the odds are against the two, but, I'll cheer for the underdog every time.
I don't mean to be blunt or crude, and of course solid business friendships can be fun for both sides of the equation.

But as far as "caring about each other"....tell her, you just lost all your money in the stock market...and then see what happens

We all need to occasionally give ourselves a reality check.

Don't over think things...and there is a whole lot of fun to be had.

And as far as "drama 101", of course it happens...but basically just to those who play into it.
Misawahawk's Avatar
Well said VK. It applies to all relationships- love doesn't buy groceries.
Jealousy is a nasty master. Ari816 and I were getting it together. Then she showed up missing a shoe. Could not recall the location. In actuality it was lost location(s). Too many fingerprints on the shoe did us in.

I still miss her mucho
Ahhh yes, the wonderful Ari shoe legend....

And to think it all started when my Maids service found it under my bed. I immediately thanked her for finding it. Also told her that I was tired of just hopping around on just the one foot She said something in Spanish, did the sign of the cross...and then left the shoe on my desk, and quickly left the room.

However, ever since then, she always smiles at me and whispers something Spanish under her breath

Perhaps another sign of jealous, only on her part???
I don't mean to be blunt or crude, and of course solid business friendships can be fun for both sides of the equation.

But as far as "caring about each other"....tell her, you just lost all your money in the stock market...and then see what happens

We all need to occasionally give ourselves a reality check.

Don't over think things...and there is a whole lot of fun to be had.

And as far as "drama 101", of course it happens...but basically just to those who play into it. Originally Posted by vkmaster
VK said it right.

I cherish the friendships I've made in this hobby. Fellow provider and hobbyist alike. I've cried on the shoulder of more than a few friends - who also happened to be clients. It is possible to care about the people we interact with, and still keep it within the defined boundaries of a p4p relationship. In fact, I wouldn't have it any other way.

It is also true that a few lucky souls have found honest to God real love in this hobby. Almost as many as have successfully captured a Crumple Horned Snorcack without blowing themselves up. But it does happen.

However, if after receiving all of this sage advice you still hope to find love in the hobby, remember a few rules:

1. Keep the big head engaged. At all times.
2. Put a padlock on your wallet. Bring only the donation, leave only the donation.
3. Its real when and only when she tells you to stop bringing an envelope.
growler's Avatar
Always the cynic Vkmaster lol. An interesting thread you started Chuck. What could be on your mind? There does seem to be a few of these threads lately. Stacy thanks for your refreshing honest answer. I think I heard it happens from time to time lol. How could it not, it's all part of the human condition............catnipdip per good to see you post,the devil is in the details isn't .
It is also true that a few lucky souls have found honest to God real love in this hobby. Almost as many as have successfully captured a Crumple Horned Snorcack without blowing themselves up. But it does happen. Originally Posted by SinsOfTheFlesh
My Crumple Horned Snorcack did blow up... We "dated" for nearly 2 years. But how we met did always bring a strange dynamic to our relationship. But as I mentioned, it didn't end well, and I know a couple of other guys where that was the case. On the other hand, I also know of one case where it did work out.

Mark
Jealousy is a nasty master. Ari816 and I were getting it together. Then she showed up missing a shoe. Could not recall the location. In actuality it was lost location(s). Too many fingerprints on the shoe did us in.

I still miss her mucho Originally Posted by catnipdipper
Exactly! At least you never found out about the dog that ate one shoe while I was skinny dipping. Now that would have just sounded like a lie.

You are such a tease! Come home.
Ahhh yes, the wonderful Ari shoe legend....

And to think it all started when my Maids service found it under my bed. I immediately thanked her for finding it. Also told her that I was tired of just hopping around on just the one foot She said something in Spanish, did the sign of the cross...and then left the shoe on my desk, and quickly left the room.

However, ever since then, she always smiles at me and whispers something Spanish under her breath

Perhaps another sign of jealous, only on her part??? Originally Posted by vkmaster
]

VK- Only you could have handled the situation with such ease and a sense of humor.