What will the Trump Presidency look like?

Douche - You crack me up!

Yeah, Ah mite be funny ta yew, but Ah takes this shee'yit serious. Ah've had mah unnergroundt bunker, an' mah guns & ammo, an' mah supplies stockpiled e'er since a-fore tha ol' Y2K ah-pocky-lips wuz pree-dick-ted. Tha timin' mite bee a bit off, but tha shee'yit is a-gonna hit tha fan sumday, jus' a matter o' time. An Ah'm reddy ta rock'n'roll when it hits! Geronimo!

So David Duckydo, what do you think the shelf life is for all those condoms you have stashed in your bunker? And after the apocalypse how do you plan to seek out female companionship?

Ah don't gots no rubbers in mah bunker, jus' plenny o' Viagra, saw palmetto, an' horny goat weed in vacuum sealedt bags inna -80C freezah. 'Cos job Numéro Uno when e'ery thang settles down is ree-pop-yew-lay-shun wif whut e'er hunny's Ah git inna mah bunker. When thet ol' ah-pocky-lips hits Ah should have mah pick o' tha litt'r thet'll be a-bangin' on tha blast doors ta mah strongthold jus' a-beggin' an' a-pleadin' ta let'em in. Only tha hawtest o' tha hawt is a-gonna be allowedt tha honor o' bein' mah baby-mommas.

So looks like Trump will be in Austin on the 23rd. Have to wonder if Cruz will show up or keep his distance.

Cruz oughta git in line ta suck Trump's dick 'r else his daddy's gonna git dee-port'd fer shootin' ol' JFK oncest tha Donald's in charge. Thar ain't no stat-chute o' lemming-tay-shuns on murder!

Hmmmmmm..... makes you wonder if those sta-tutes of Trump are meant to show his limitations.

Well, a gorilla's peckerdillo is only 'bout one anna half inches long wif a full-on boner.

L'il Kong's Ding-Dong

An' yew know thet Trump 'r a gottdamm gorilla culd beat thet ol' hairy cunt Hillery-Dillery-Schlock inna genr'l 'lect-shun.