Okay, it took me some time to decide if I wanted to post here or not. Honestly, I was a little afraid and first thought I'd rather write a blog containing my opinion, but there has been a WEALTH of information shared in this thread and if I overlook the insults and drama there are some very astute individuals here who I feel can share a bit of knowledge. I will admit, going into this world I didn't understand the difference between a provider or courtesan w/ steady clients and a sugar baby. I thought being a provider would lead to being a sugar baby, but I see just how rare that is and how I may have shot myself in the foot beginning in the p4p world when I desired something more. When I was younger, I wanted a SD, but strayed away from the idea because it didn't seem like a wise decision to put all my eggs in one basket. I am not interested in having a financial leash around my neck and being someone's private on-call sex toy. Now that I am older and more aware of what I want and need I think the value of a SD exceeds any limitation on visits per week or money per month. Experiences and opportunities are much more difficult to put a dollar amount on and interpersonal chemistry plays a large part in the success of one of these relationships.
What attracts me most is being able to be with someone who is able to introduce me to a different style of living. Someone who has the connections necessary to become established and self sufficient. I look at a sugar daddy as a kind of mentor who can help navigate through different circumstances. Someone who is fully capable of supporting you in more ways than financially. While he may do amazing things for you, and take you to amazing places, he is not a check, a bank, or an ATM. He is a man who is needing something more than just sex. Now I don't want anyone to misconstrue my post here as some type of advertisement, but I am interested in hearing from a sugar daddy's POV just how many of your babies desire you for more than just money? I don't mean emotionally either. How do those arrangements work out for you? Do you prefer a SB who is just interested in her allowance and playing her part or someone who is wanting to learn from you and genuinely get to know you?
I think the common thread in any relationship is trust, honesty and open communication. As Jaycee said, it is important to know exactly what you are looking for upfront. I get that the consensus is that a lot of providers aren't very intelligent or willing to step outside of that provider/john role but what about the ones that are? Should they be painted with the same brush and treated with such disdain? A lot of times I read about how physically attracted one party may or may not be to the next, however I find it hard to believe that someone would pour so much of their energy into a vessel whose only attribute is something so perishable as beauty. Is hotness and no history as a provider the only attributes that make a good SB?
From what I've gathered being in a SD/SB relationship isn't all that different than being in a civvie relationship except the SB is expected to refrain from negative emotions or nagging and drama should be kept to a minimum and the SD may be married and not available all the time. Is this an accurate assumption?
In the beginning she got an apartment, car, furnishings, allowance, I got her a fog for Christmas two years ago, shopping trips, trips to Japan, China, Russia, etc..
Now she has her own job at 21 years old making 41,00 a year. She said she owes it all to me and I say it was all her, I just pointed her in the direction she needs to go.
Originally Posted by Gotyour6
This is what I personally think it should be about. Elevating your sugar baby to a level that she can sustain herself. I think you are a very secure man for being able to set her up to make her own money and not rely so heavily on you. Forget about all of the money you've spent or trips you've taken(although I am sure they were fun and she enjoyed them!) the experience in a job that will translate to more career opportunities is priceless, because if you decide to upgrade to a newer model, she still has a career to fall back on. When I first began reading your post I could not understand what value they had to the community as they are generally filled with vitriol and disdain, however now I see that you get it and despite your feelings for providers I am happy that you did something so selfless for her.
This is the last I shall say on this subject.
To the ladies that aspire for more. Those that wish to be courtesans or sugar babies,
Do not let someone else's view restrain you from bettering yourself or striving for an arrangement. Everyone has the potential to be what they want and it is not wrong to desire to be a provider, a sugar baby, a courtesan or whatever your personal aspirations are. Be the best, do your research, be kind and thoughtful. Remember even the person who speaks the cruelest words is a person and he/she has their own flaws and opinions. This does not mean you need to take it to heart or let them define you. You define you. Focus on bettering yourself and you will draw those that will appreciate what you have to offer. The moment you allow someone else to define what you can be, that is all you will ever be. If you succeed in catching the eye of a sugar daddy remember to treat him well. Learn him, know him and fulfill his needs and he will in turn fulfill yours to the best of his ability. Not all needs stay in the bedroom. Take the time to consider his feelings. Empathize. If the roles were reversed you would not want to be treated like an ATM I am sure. Trust is key and trust is earned.
To those that view providers in such a way they could be nothing but a provider. No matter your personal opinion I respect your right to have it. Though I may disagree with your opinion it is yours to be had. To someone out there you are a god and a savoir. A wonderful person who lights up their life. They in turn fill some need of yours and hopefully adds some light into your life. That is all that matters.
Lastly to those men/women who hold an open mind. You I respect above all else. Not because I desire to be seen by you or others in a particular way but simply because that is the mark of true wisdom and intelligence. The ability to view more than a singular path. Old-T, stimulate, and everyone else. You are the reason that women like myself have not given up on this forum.
Originally Posted by JayceeRivers
Thank you so much for your inspiring and insightful post Jaycee. Everything you have shared has been intuitive and informative. I was almost down in the dumps & ready to quit until I read this and decided to read a few more pages of this thread to see. Your voice here is refreshing and very much so needed!