Thanks OBSG! It's easier said than done but I know now that's how it has to be!! Originally Posted by zipsterIf it's truly "easier said than done", than you are indeed too emotionally invested in the relationship.
- TinMan
- 04-04-2015, 11:37 AM
- jjwjcw
- 04-04-2015, 12:11 PM
it's a business - provider / client relationship - nothing more - pro(vider)stitute really doesn't care
- atf searcher
- 04-04-2015, 01:56 PM
It's amusing that there are so many guys willing to make comments about this subject , and it's because dam near every guy that does this for any extended period of time has gone through something similar.
You asked for some advice but then you said to save the comments about the providers being professionals and not wanting to get too personally involved. Well those comments you said to save are the only truth there is , like it or not.
You asked for some advice but then you said to save the comments about the providers being professionals and not wanting to get too personally involved. Well those comments you said to save are the only truth there is , like it or not.
- Guest031919
- 04-04-2015, 03:19 PM
I very rarely comment in support of a hobbyist, as I know full well that my experience may differ greatly from another providers experience...and unless I'm there with that person 24 hours a day, I can't comment on what he does outside of my experiences with him.
All I can say is that I'm extremely sensitive to 'obsessive' people or needy people or clingy people - and I would never allow someone in my private life if they are even remotely any of these things and Zipster is my friend and he's never been any of those things. I abhore clingy behaviour and he's never ever shown that to me and we are pretty good friends at this point.
He's just a person that cares with his whole heart. In an almost naïve child-like way. He's the least obsessive person that I know. I think he's just genuinely confused and worried about his friend.
Zip - what I've learned about people is that when they take a time-out, 99 times out of 100, it has nothing to do with me.
She may have a sick relative, financial problems, boyfriend problems etc. or what the hell do I know? She may be in Tahiti having the time of her life right now!
She may be overwhelmed dealing with other stuff. Or she may just be grappling with cooking a ham for Easter Sunday.
You may not be aware of internal issues because though you are good friends, you are still a paying client. And no one wants to have an appointment with Negative Nancy.
And thus is the slippery slope of friendships with clients.
You've reached out. The ball is in her court now. Invest your time in the people who embrace you and are happy to hear from you.
Like the great Robert Frost once said: "In three words I can sum up everything I know about life: It Goes On"
Chin up.
All I can say is that I'm extremely sensitive to 'obsessive' people or needy people or clingy people - and I would never allow someone in my private life if they are even remotely any of these things and Zipster is my friend and he's never been any of those things. I abhore clingy behaviour and he's never ever shown that to me and we are pretty good friends at this point.
He's just a person that cares with his whole heart. In an almost naïve child-like way. He's the least obsessive person that I know. I think he's just genuinely confused and worried about his friend.
Zip - what I've learned about people is that when they take a time-out, 99 times out of 100, it has nothing to do with me.
She may have a sick relative, financial problems, boyfriend problems etc. or what the hell do I know? She may be in Tahiti having the time of her life right now!
She may be overwhelmed dealing with other stuff. Or she may just be grappling with cooking a ham for Easter Sunday.
You may not be aware of internal issues because though you are good friends, you are still a paying client. And no one wants to have an appointment with Negative Nancy.
And thus is the slippery slope of friendships with clients.
You've reached out. The ball is in her court now. Invest your time in the people who embrace you and are happy to hear from you.
Like the great Robert Frost once said: "In three words I can sum up everything I know about life: It Goes On"
Chin up.
- Guest031919
- 04-04-2015, 03:21 PM
- pmdelites
- 04-04-2015, 06:04 PM
like Maggie May said ...
Like the great Robert Frost once said: "In three words I can sum up everything I know about life: It Goes On"
zipster, like others have suggested - breathe, focus, move on.
if it was meant to be, it will happen.
if it wasnt meant to be, that will happen.
it doesnt matter how "close" or "friendly" a client has gotten w/ a provider or vice versa.
it doesnt matter how recently they've seen them [on or off the clock].
it doesnt matter how much they have in common or have shared.
it doesnt matter if your heart/emotions are on your sleeve.
just remember the following:
* EVERYTHING CHANGES!!!
* another person's life is their own - they can do what they want, when they want, where they want, with whom they want, and why they want. if you get any sort of explanation about why they are doing or not doing something, consider yourself fortunate.
* there is a BIG YELLOW crime scene type tape in between a client and a provider that says "DANGER DANGER DANGER." cross that line - throw all logic out the window.
at least in my experience, once you cross that line, you will remember that it is there from that point on and learn to respect it.
you can still share things and have a great time together, bcd or not.
but it will change.
so adapt to the change or remain stuck in the past.
peace be with you!
Like the great Robert Frost once said: "In three words I can sum up everything I know about life: It Goes On"
zipster, like others have suggested - breathe, focus, move on.
if it was meant to be, it will happen.
if it wasnt meant to be, that will happen.
it doesnt matter how "close" or "friendly" a client has gotten w/ a provider or vice versa.
it doesnt matter how recently they've seen them [on or off the clock].
it doesnt matter how much they have in common or have shared.
it doesnt matter if your heart/emotions are on your sleeve.
just remember the following:
* EVERYTHING CHANGES!!!
* another person's life is their own - they can do what they want, when they want, where they want, with whom they want, and why they want. if you get any sort of explanation about why they are doing or not doing something, consider yourself fortunate.
* there is a BIG YELLOW crime scene type tape in between a client and a provider that says "DANGER DANGER DANGER." cross that line - throw all logic out the window.
at least in my experience, once you cross that line, you will remember that it is there from that point on and learn to respect it.
you can still share things and have a great time together, bcd or not.
but it will change.
so adapt to the change or remain stuck in the past.
peace be with you!
- nicholas linnear
- 04-04-2015, 06:20 PM
Dude dude dude.....it is for this reason that I am a "free range" hobbiest. I ain't going in the cage (of my own making) ever again. I am a sensitive guy and genuinely care for most everyone...so after having sex with a woman three or four times I move on ( maybe the providers think I'm a bastard for this) but as has been said this is fantasy....just think of it like this Fantasy Island TV Show Opening Theme Season One 1…: http://youtu.be/1x_QbVDlLbI
- Guest110416
- 04-04-2015, 06:30 PM
They may be your faves, but 99% of the time, you personally are not theirs, but will tell you anything you want to hear to keep you interested and get your money while calling you a gullible fool behind your back. Plenty of providers, especially here in Dallas/Fort Worth to worry about a few who will not contact you back.
Do not ever get involved with a provider for more than what you are paying her for, no favors not hobby related and definitely do not get personal with a provider, ever. It may be great at first and even for a while, but eventually, it will not end well and you will always come out looking like the bad guy, especially from her WKs and the provider herself, calling you a stalker and obsessed.
The hobby is about fun, so do not allow yourself to get emotionally involved with anyone or anything, let all the negativity roll off your back and do not let the assholes effect your experience, whether it be trying to be a provider's personal favorite for whatever your reasoning is (it will never happen) or to get on this site and have agendas against others. Life is too short for the drama bullshit, so just go and have fun!
Do not ever get involved with a provider for more than what you are paying her for, no favors not hobby related and definitely do not get personal with a provider, ever. It may be great at first and even for a while, but eventually, it will not end well and you will always come out looking like the bad guy, especially from her WKs and the provider herself, calling you a stalker and obsessed.
The hobby is about fun, so do not allow yourself to get emotionally involved with anyone or anything, let all the negativity roll off your back and do not let the assholes effect your experience, whether it be trying to be a provider's personal favorite for whatever your reasoning is (it will never happen) or to get on this site and have agendas against others. Life is too short for the drama bullshit, so just go and have fun!
- atf searcher
- 04-04-2015, 07:36 PM
I have a guaranteed way to find out how personally involved any provider is with you.
Tell her that you want to fuck her for free and that you don't want her to fuck anybody else, and see what she says.
Tell her that you want to fuck her for free and that you don't want her to fuck anybody else, and see what she says.
- Guest031919
- 04-04-2015, 07:58 PM
I have a guaranteed way to find out how personally involved any provider is with you.One thing I will say.. If I start to feel like we are friends..I will no longer accept money from you. Which means we also can't f*uck anymore. And as friends we have to do dumb shit like shopping for antiques and going to see chick flicks... (The longer, the better!!)
Tell her that you want to fuck her for free and that you don't want her to fuck anybody else, and see what she says. Originally Posted by atf searcher
And you also have to help me move...and I have some really really heavy shit. And I move a ton!
Friend stuff
- pyramider
- 04-04-2015, 08:14 PM
Chick flicks? Poetry readings? Kale juice? Oh the HORRORS ....
- lily blake
- 04-04-2015, 10:00 PM
I have a guaranteed way to find out how personally involved any provider is with you.We don't even fuck non hobby guys for free so this is the dumbest idea ever. Sex is never ever free and if it is the woman does not know her worth
Tell her that you want to fuck her for free and that you don't want her to fuck anybody else, and see what she says. Originally Posted by atf searcher
Smh
- Sutphen
- 04-04-2015, 10:33 PM
Zip
I think you pissed her off. And she is not answering you because she knows it will drive you crazy and you will post a thread asking for advise.
I think you pissed her off. And she is not answering you because she knows it will drive you crazy and you will post a thread asking for advise.
- txman123
- 04-04-2015, 11:18 PM
... I've reached out to her today to at least let me know what I've done and still no answer. She's still active on Eccie posting a thread as recent as today.If you consider her a friend, treat her as such. Reach out to her, but you can not make her take your hand.
I know this all fantasy land and I'll get the typical responses about her being a "provider" and she never has cared for me, so please save those comments! I'll beg to differ! We've shared things with each other that aren't typically shared in a hobbyist-provider relationship.
So, veterans, thru the years you've been hobbying, give me your opinions on why you think this happens. I've thought that maybe she's uncomfortable that we're getting too close. She has given no indication about it when we've met as recently as a few days ago, and had a great time. I'm completely stumped on this one! Any words of wisdom are appreciated. Happy hobbying!! Originally Posted by zipster
Give her some time, if she considers you a friend, she'll get back to you.
Friends don't smother each other.
- mmcqtx
- 04-05-2015, 12:50 AM
Maybe she really does like you and is doing you a favor by not contacting you. Move on, you will find another good one, after seeing the new one a few times, move on again. This is not the place to find friends or even a regular sex partner. Put the good ones in a rotation, don't get attached, no matter what. If you really need attachment go to Match.com or the church singles group, or the local bar, or whatever else has worked for you in the past.