SJ, how do retainers work? What is standard?
Will you take pussy as a retainer?
Your welcome, SJ. Consider all the free pussy you are about to get for retainers as my retainer for the suggestion here!
Originally Posted by cpi3000
Like most criminal defense lawyers, I have set, retail rates for certain types of offenses, based on the seriousness of the offense because the more serious the offense, the more time it's probably going to take for me to get a favorable outcome. For example, I'll charge more for a felony than a misdemeanor, and more for a federal case versus a state case.
Most of my clients pay my retail rates. But I'm not money-oriented, I'm comfortable, I'm taking good care of all my dependents, and other than having a sugar baby (or two, like now), I don't have any expensive habits. I work for myself so I can do whatever the fuck I want.
So more and more I find myself setting a retainer based on my deep frustration with the criminal justice system. I think, by and large, the beast whose belly I'm in every day is largely ineffective in reducing crime, maybe even counterproductive. I think it's completely insane that prostitution or possession of drugs is a crime, for example.
So if someone approaches me here directly or through a referral, and it's a very simple matter, I won't charge a fee. If it's something that will take more than an hour or so, I'll charge them a drastically-reduced fee. I've found that if I charge a client no fee and there's more than just a little work involved, the client will think my time is worth nothing and they'll waste it. (No offense to anyone here, but that's a phenomenon I experience mostly from my sisters here, not my brothers.) It seems to be a rule that the less I charge a client the more attention they want.
To answer your question: No, I don't trade my services for pussy. I explained why in this post:
http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=585239&postcount=3
However, I have represented hundreds of providers and hobbyists through the years to their satisfaction. When I'm gone, I hope some of them will mourn my passing and not piss on my grave. That's all a lawyer can really ask.