* + * FALLING IN LOVE WITH CLIENTS/PROVIDERS? * + *

Providers and Hobbyists are people, so it shouldn't be a surprise if feelings develop considering what is done BCD

The direction that is taken on such love will depend and vary with regard to each person's motives and personality.

It happens all the time and it is real, as real as anything else.
If you have an emotional void in your life, there is a great possibility that seeing someone in the "best" of situations might become an illusion that fills it.

It's a tightrope over a 1000 foot crevice.

If it happens, then you should try to see the person in a more realistic light to determine if it's real.
Have you heard them snore? Seen them first thing in the morning? Seen them stressed or angry or in a general bad mood? Walked into the bathroom behind them? In short, have you seen all of the person? If so, and the love is still there, then maybe it's worth pursuing.

It's a long climb from the bottom of that crevice though and you might not come out unscathed.

Angelina along with everyone else sounds very informative on this, I guess because everyone has been thru it? Myself, being an older (gentle)man, I've seen only one provider more than 3 times over a period of a couple years just because she could be available on short notice. Maybe it's my fear of making a connection that just can't happen in my case. Although, a few times on a first meeting I thought I've felt a connection, no doubt my feelings only, but, it truly felt like it was making love, not the typical pay your money and do your thing. The 'falling for the other person thing' only brings back memories of being young and growing up and falling in love, you all remember how that was? I guess my age and experience lets me keep the reigns on my emotions now, even though I sure wish I could follow them at times, but I know it's only temporary, infatuation, so it is easier to ignore.
Could it be that many of us are involved in hobbying because of our past?

charlestudor "They don't get the sex they want and leave. After all, this is more important to men than to women (even women admit this)."

No. Women leave their husbands because of not enough sex too.

I debated whether or not to chime in here because I'd prefer she not see this, but I'm in love with my ATF right now. I fell for her on my first session. I fell so hard that I had to see her again two days later. If she lived here I'd be flat broke. My first session was like making love to the woman of my dreams and I was hooked. I've seen her several times over the past 5 months and every session since the first has been hotter, sexier and better than the last. I know we are connecting on a sexual level and we talk and text and email every so often and we've spent some time together "outdoors" so I think we connect at least on a personal/friendship level.

I've had a very limited sex life and started very late (not by choice) - one girlfriend for about 3 years and 3 other casual, one or two time encounters before the hobby. I've added just over 30 women since then and she is by far the most sensual, most seductive and sexiest woman I've been with. While I've enjoyed all of them, she is the only one that has made me feel like we really are making love. I'm sure most of her clients walk out feeling they same way, or at least feel like they had more than just a sexual encounter.

I have no illusions that she feels the same towards me, but I'm pretty sure she does like me (or she at least tolerates me non-BCD). I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her and I'd marry her today if I could, but she could have any man she wants and I'd be willing to bet it wouldn't be me.

Nothing makes be happier than to spend time with her and to make love to her. Nothing makes me sadder than to walk out that door and leave her behind. Her schedule will be changing soon and I may not get to see her as often as I'd like. I'm an emotional wreck right now and the only thing that helps is being with her. I hope to see her for a very long time. Maybe more time between sessions may help heal my wounded heart, but the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" may prove to be true. If and when it ends I'll be a basket case.

do men ever really fall out of love? Originally Posted by Exotic Lily

ask my ex

I debated whether or not to chime in here because I'd prefer she not see this, but I'm in love with my ATF right now. I fell for her on my first session. I fell so hard that I had to see her again two days later. If she lived here I'd be flat broke. My first session was like making love to the woman of my dreams and I was hooked. I've seen her several times over the past 5 months and every session since the first has been hotter, sexier and better than the last. I know we are connecting on a sexual level and we talk and text and email every so often and we've spent some time together "outdoors" so I think we connect at least on a personal/friendship level.

I've had a very limited sex life and started very late (not by choice) - one girlfriend for about 3 years and 3 other casual, one or two time encounters before the hobby. I've added just over 30 women since then and she is by far the most sensual, most seductive and sexiest woman I've been with. While I've enjoyed all of them, she is the only one that has made me feel like we really are making love. I'm sure most of her clients walk out feeling they same way, or at least feel like they had more than just a sexual encounter.

I have no illusions that she feels the same towards me, but I'm pretty sure she does like me (or she at least tolerates me non-BCD). I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her and I'd marry her today if I could, but she could have any man she wants and I'd be willing to bet it wouldn't be me.

Nothing makes be happier than to spend time with her and to make love to her. Nothing makes me sadder than to walk out that door and leave her behind. Her schedule will be changing soon and I may not get to see her as often as I'd like. I'm an emotional wreck right now and the only thing that helps is being with her. I hope to see her for a very long time. Maybe more time between sessions may help heal my wounded heart, but the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" may prove to be true. If and when it ends I'll be a basket case. Originally Posted by pornodave69

Be very careful Dave. You are very vulnerable right now based on what you wrote. I know because I have been there myself. I would suggest taking a step back, not seeing her for a while and then see if you are still as smitten as you write you are. From what I experienced once things went to a “real” relationship, I found the provider I was in love with and whom I wanted to marry as well as adopt one of her daughters was nothing like she faked being for months. That means that unless you have seen her mad, sick, ranting and raving at you for whatever stupid thing she could think of, you don’t know the real person and feelings like you described are a recipe of disaster. Just take this from someone who has been where you are and is writing from hard experience.

Good luck to you and I hope you think about this before you go any further. I know I did not think about things when I was at the stage you are. I ignored both my gut feeling as well as what I was seeing from her and it was a huge mistake on my part. Love may be blind but it has to be reciprocated to be shared.

LD is renouned for his ability to fall for a Provider.

The Book of Hezziciah is an Ode in his honor.

I have rarely seen one end happily ever after.....................

*chuckle*

So sayeth the f*cking prophet, heh?

Thanks for the advice, LonesomeDove. I realize that this is most likely a one way street and the possibility of a future "non-business" relationship is mostly non-existent. I'm not saying she's superficial or materialistic, but unless I get better looking and richer I don't think I'd stand a chance with her in the real world. I don't stand a chance with most women apparently so I don't expect one of her caliber to be any different. I've always been a hopeless romantic. Unfortunately, there is never reciprocity. But for that brief period of time that it feels real it sure is nice.

I debated whether or not to chime in here because I'd prefer she not see this, but I'm in love with my ATF right now. I fell for her on my first session. I fell so hard that I had to see her again two days later. If she lived here I'd be flat broke. My first session was like making love to the woman of my dreams and I was hooked. I've seen her several times over the past 5 months and every session since the first has been hotter, sexier and better than the last. I know we are connecting on a sexual level and we talk and text and email every so often and we've spent some time together "outdoors" so I think we connect at least on a personal/friendship level.

I've had a very limited sex life and started very late (not by choice) - one girlfriend for about 3 years and 3 other casual, one or two time encounters before the hobby. I've added just over 30 women since then and she is by far the most sensual, most seductive and sexiest woman I've been with. While I've enjoyed all of them, she is the only one that has made me feel like we really are making love. I'm sure most of her clients walk out feeling they same way, or at least feel like they had more than just a sexual encounter.

I have no illusions that she feels the same towards me, but I'm pretty sure she does like me (or she at least tolerates me non-BCD). I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her and I'd marry her today if I could, but she could have any man she wants and I'd be willing to bet it wouldn't be me.

Nothing makes be happier than to spend time with her and to make love to her. Nothing makes me sadder than to walk out that door and leave her behind. Her schedule will be changing soon and I may not get to see her as often as I'd like. I'm an emotional wreck right now and the only thing that helps is being with her. I hope to see her for a very long time. Maybe more time between sessions may help heal my wounded heart, but the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" may prove to be true. If and when it ends I'll be a basket case. Originally Posted by pornodave69

I feel ya man. I have fallen too. One is generous with her time and affection and is very similar to me. We see eye to eye on so many things and we have very stimulating conversations. But I keep one foot in reality. I know better than to think she shares my feelings.

The other has dissapeared. She was going to retire, and give me her info anyway. Well she retired I guess, but she didn't keep in touch. I am afraid she either knew how I felt and felt the same but didn't want the drama, (Unlikely I never said anything, and we only met twice, but it was amazing) or she had no concern for me whatsoever and never intended to keep me in the loop. Either way it is pretty certain she is gone forever.

As others have said proceed with caution. I am afraid this world is not a healthy place to fall in love. It is too bad since the men and women here are of like minds. I have just never heard of any happy endings (.... to easy...) The reality is that I hobby because I do not want the entanglements of a relationship, so to mix the hobby and a relationship would cause a glitch in my software and I would probably self destruct.

Could it be that many of us are involved in hobbying because of our past? Originally Posted by h-d

I know that I am and I know it's not anything that a psychologist or support group would advise, but, hey, I'm human.

PornoDave - be careful. L.D. is right, you are vulnerable. I've done it and found myself an emotional TRAIN wreck. Worrying about her, imagining a life together, having conversations with her when she's not even there. Remembering things to share with her and she was about as far away from me on that planet as she could get. It's common knowledge that these women are great actresses and I don't fault them for that. They have to get in their mindset in order to be successful.
Don't let the fantasies overtake your realities.
I'm not really qualified to give anyone any advice, so listen to the wise man.

This is a great and very educational thread. Thanks all.
Cheers!

After reading pornodave69's post, I think, if you have no SO or other strings holding you down, and the fact that you both are communicating with each other outside BCD, go for it. Ask her to dinner or whatever you do on a date, I'm married so I don't know what dating entails. I assume she knows you have feelings for her, if not, say so, if she refuses a date, then you can cut the cord and your losses and move on. In today's world, if she has a change of heart, I would believe she would call you. Just let her know the door is always open for her.

At my age, I would staright out just ask the question, tactfully though. Don't waste your time or life on "what ifs" .

I saw about 40 girls over 4 years. Maybe 5-6 of the girls I saw asked me for a drink later on after the sessions were over with. In every case, the girl was someone who was just starting to work. I told them no in every instance. I can't recall, but I think every one of them quit working soon thereafter. However, one girl whom I said no to was a real winner. I knew in my soul that the moment she walked out the door that I had made an awful mistake.

It's my belief that some girls (but not all) who decide to start providing may be looking for a guy who they might like, in order to get them out of their money troubles. If they find one very soon after they start working, then they may ask their client if they're interested in pursuing something deeper. If the client tells them no, then the issue becomes much more problematic. I believe it's because girls will start to get used to doing what they do. They get attached to the money and they learn to see their clients as clients, not as boyfriend or husband material. Even if girls really like a client, wanting to talk to him every day, or wanting to go out and do things off the clock, there's always the fact that they're on the money train and there's another round of appointments they have do tomorrow.

I'll also mention something FWIW: One thing I saw maybe 5-6 times when I went to go see girls was that they had romance novels near their bedsides. I thought it strange that some providers read romance novels. I couldn't help but wonder if there was something missing in their lives and that might have been the reason why they were reading them.