I agree with Toyz and Jane Doe. I have had three or four appointments in the last couple of years that have just fell spectacularly flat. As I was reading all of this, I was thinking of the reasons why. One of them we had tried to set something for quite some time. During this time, I would continually get one and two word emails late at night when I had continually told him that I am not a late night person. And, when I responded I would not get anything back until the next late night B call. I don't know how other ladies feel, but general politeness is big, big deal to me. I'm a consumer half my life as well, and I am always polite. At any rate, I mention all of this because I realized afterwards that instead of my anticipation building, my irritation had been building. I should have realized this and shut off communication after the first few communiques, but I didn't. When he got there, it was just a total flat line. Also, he was balding and was over-compensating by having extra hair in the back which he had in a pony tail. What's happening, Sonny Crockett? That shit just pissed me off, I'm not sure why
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Conversely, I have had a few dinner dates, extended appointments with men much older than I with whom I would have never have given a second glance to. But, they were so charismatic and lovely and charming that it did the trick and our BCD time was great. Charm goes a long way on both sides of the fence, I think. It's hard to completely reconstruct chemistry if there is none, but a little effort will usually get ya halfway there. Also, what Toyz said about smell. I loooove a good, subtle scent. Gets me going.
You can find something sexy in almost every man. If I'm having a hard time in that regard, I try and remind myself that its not about me. It's about making someone else feel aroused and special,etc. When I am really turned off to such a degree that the whole thing just kind of falls apart, its been because of something energetic. Their ego is pressing up against mine, and I find I'm getting into a whole mental eye roll situation.
I don't know it's a strange thing to do, you know. Just kind of inviting all of this diverse and unknown energy into your space and then then almost immediately engaging in something very intimate. I'm learning to pay a lot more attention to interactions before a meeting is ever set. Never did the course of true love or passionate pay for play run smoothly.