Developing feelings for my provider

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Don't be the captain.

I have been participating in the hobby and SHMBs for two decades, where this topic comes up over and over again. Not once have I seen one of these relationships work out long term.

Best case scenario is there is some mutual attraction and you date for a few years until the very unstable foundation on which you built the relationship causes it to collapse.

That's best case. Worst case? She pretends to like you and takes you for everything you're worth. That happens a lot more often than the best case scenario.

She pretends to like you and takes you for everything you're worth. That happens a lot more often than the best case scenario. Originally Posted by TinMan

And what she can take from you can be nonfinancial in nature and leave you wishing that it was in fact all your money that she'd taken.

I have been participating in the hobby and SHMBs for two decades, where this topic comes up over and over again. Not once have I seen one of these relationships work out long term.

Best case scenario is there is some mutual attraction and you date for a few years until the very unstable foundation on which you built the relationship causes it to collapse. Originally Posted by TinMan

+1 A-to-the-MEN! This IS NOT the place to find a relationship. The likelihood of it ending badly are way too high. People typically don't drift into this world bc they have their shit together in the relationship department - its not meant as an insult its just a fact. This is a very dysfunctional foundation for any committed relationship. There are people I have grown very close to in the hobby who I respect and care for, but boundaries take priority over everything else.

I fell for a provider a few years ago and it worked out great - and by "great," I mean it was a fucking disaster that had me doing and thinking things that were ridiculous and disassociated from reality. In the words of Walter White: "Tread lightly."

No no no Bad bad bad run run run

No no no Bad bad bad run run run Originally Posted by Jessica Jade

JJ knows best RUN FOREST RUN
you will just get drained and keep your heads (both of them) in the wrong place.
And the more you do the more you will be exptected to do and all your hobby money goes away. Take a break and go on a trip or something. Walk away while you can or you will just become the rich uncle.

It does not end well for either party.

Believe me.

It is hard to define the relationships that develop. We all know it is a business and, except if we mutually agree to meet for lunch or coffee, time together is on the clock.

That doesn't take away from the fact that we will develop a bond that isn't love or anything like that, but a mutual respect and fondness for someone who has put a bright spot in our lives. I know I feel joy at the news that a lady I see regularly has had a good life event and I hope they continue to be happy and well.

Take it easy going into the hobby until you can get it into perspective. Once there, you can relax and enjoy your time with some very nice ladies.

You just have to tell yourself to walk away if you know what is good for both of you.

TnTAngie...r u speaking from experience or knowledge of?

Bro...listen to everybody on here and quit while you still have a small chance because if you are unable to turn your emotions off "when you leave" this can become dangers for you and the lady you is seeing regularly. You need to take a break...in the meantime take up a new hobby that has nothing to do with your emotions...

Even though I teased you earlier to be completely honest, there are some providers I won't even see if I have an inkling that I may actually have the slightest potential to be too attracted to them on an emotional level.

Hobby and Real-Heart do not hang well together.

Best wishes

Listen to these guys. I always have said this is about Fucking and having Fun not I love you and love making. I have been told I am cold when I say this and not a good actress. I am like I am not a good actress just truthful. I have a lot of guys that I love to Fuck but not make love to. I know it is easy to care about others cause this is so personal but sweetie ask her if yall both care is Sonic okay. If she cares then no more P4P between yall. Originally Posted by Truly Passion

+1000

Take a step back and disengage, this is not a substitute for a dating website where most people are looking for a relationship. I know you hear occassional stories about a hobbyist taking a provider off the market but that shit falls apart sooner or later. This hobby isn't for everyone and if you're tender-hearted you maybe in for a rude awakening. Tread carefully and don't fall for the illusion by getting sucked into the matrix. No one gives a shit about you at the end of the day. Fantasy for sale dude. Originally Posted by Nurseguy76

why the hell does everyone keep acting like he came into this hobby like it was a dating website. he already said he is NOT new to the hobby.

I know and I can't believe I feel like this. I know it should not be. By the way, new to eccie as it is not widely used from where I moved from........but long timer in the hobby.

Taking a break sounds like the right thing to do...... Originally Posted by joey1234

You meet. You get acquainted and talk a while. You get undressed and have great sex (they know what they are doing here). You pay and LEAVE.

It is not uncommon to develop an emotional attachment after such an intimate encounter. It's like really looking forward to your next date - but it is only for an hour and it is a business. Yes, you may have a "connection" but keep it in the context of how it developed - it is a business connection. Enjoy it for what it is. Repeat as necessary (after your head slap heals). Originally Posted by OldGrump

+1000

Take a break... see some other well reviewed providers. It's a hobby... not love. Originally Posted by falconbueller

+1000

Hey Joey 1234,
I agree with everyone else. The providers DO NOT want your love, they want your money. This is their business. It supports their family. You would be surprised how many providers have husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, and kids. You want to have feelings for someone, go to Match.com.

Let's say you do express your love. Here are HER options:
1. ignore you, women know if a guy expresses his love for someone he barely knows the relationship has no chance
2. run from you (now you sound like a potential stalker)
3. accept your love and use you like an ATM, taking all your money for her ________ (fill in the blank) sick kids, sick relatives, child support, rent, food, car payments, etc etc. When in reality you will be supporting her pimp. >_> see now you're just implying that we, as in ALL providers have pimps therefore we have no real lives, we have no real feelings and we're just controlled by someone else

And if she says she loves you too, don't give her any money and ask for free sex. See how long she "loves" you. wow, jaded much? quit acting like providers aren't human too that we don't have feeling that we don't care and that we are some how incapable of love. it's Obnoxious and utterly untrue Originally Posted by dallaswill

1234:

Been there, done that. Thought I had learned my lesson early on in the hobby, but then, after being around for over 10-years, I met someone who I thought was a 'keeper'. This time I had to be brought back to reality by the provider herself, where the only semblance of 'love' was 'tough love' as I was let down as gently as possible back to reality.

Upon reflection, I was reminded of a couple cruises I was on. Oh, the first day is soooo wonderful and it only gets better as the cruise continues, but then on the last day the crew's demeanor changes to one of 'thank you for the tip' while getting the passengers off of the ship as impersonally and quickly as possible, and for good reason: The crew only has a few hours to take care of personal items before it's back to the ship for the next sailing.

Some of these providers are truly remarkably awesome gifted ladies, the kind one would really like to have been acquainted with "on the other side" as I refer to the life outside of the hobby as being.

This is a tough pill for newbies to swallow,and I think some here have tried to make you swallow this reality with a shot of vinegar, but I'm trying to do this with an amount of sugar which I hope is going to make this easier for you to swallow.

If sex for you is 'making love' then "run Forrest run" because the 'hobby' isn't "normal". Originally Posted by Ramjet

Dude he's Not a newbie

It is hard to define the relationships that develop. We all know it is a business and, except if we mutually agree to meet for lunch or coffee, time together is on the clock.

That doesn't take away from the fact that we will develop a bond that isn't love or anything like that, but a mutual respect and fondness for someone who has put a bright spot in our lives. I know I feel joy at the news that a lady I see regularly has had a good life event and I hope they continue to be happy and well.

Take it easy going into the hobby until you can get it into perspective. Once there, you can relax and enjoy your time with some very nice ladies. Originally Posted by OldGrump

+1000

Even though I teased you earlier to be completely honest, there are some providers I won't even see if I have an inkling that I may actually have the slightest potential to be too attracted to them on an emotional level.

Hobby and Real-Heart do not hang well together.

Best wishes Originally Posted by SD2011

+1000

Acting like a newbie makes one a newbie.