What's your weirdest/funniest/wildest experience in the hobby?

Nuevo Laredo years ago. I was sitting in the bar across from Papagayo's with a sweet little thing in my lap drinking beer with my buddies and trying to negotiate over the loud music. All of a sudden the music stops the lights come on and Federales are all over the place, all carrying M-16s or sub machine guns. My chica says "be quiet, don't look at them." They parade around the place for about 10 minutes then stop at our table and one of them just stands there over me. I finally decided I had better look at him or he wasn't going to leave. When I did he showed me a sinister little grin that just about made me piss my pants. Then he turned around and walked off. All the rest had left he was just fucking with me. The lights went back down and the music came back on like nothing happened. I was a nervous fucking wreck till we got back across the border. Originally Posted by boardman

He was admiring how cute you were lol. And that sinister grin, that was his come fuck me face

Where's Lee5 when we need him? Originally Posted by tikkler33

Or DaFrogg

I went to see a well known massage lady two years ago and at the time we began the second phase of the activities, I smelled smoke in the apartment. I asked her if she was cooking something and she replied negative. I got up and went into the kitchen to see smoke pouring out of the exhaust vent. I got on my clothes and went outside to the sound of fire engines. I noticed smoke was coming from her building a few units away. Before I could move my car, my exit was blocked by fire fighting equipment. I was stuck for three hours until they put the fire out. I had a lot of explaing to do at home,as my clothes reeked of smoke.

I took two dancers from Treasures down to Nuevo Laredo for a weekend fuckfest in La Zona. They paid for everything. Everything. To recount the story breaks at least two board rules.

I went to see a well known massage lady two years ago and at the time we began the second phase of the activities, I smelled smoke in the apartment. I asked her if she was cooking something and she replied negative. I got up and went into the kitchen to see smoke pouring out of the exhaust vent. I got on my clothes and went outside to the sound of fire engines. I noticed smoke was coming from her building a few units away. Before I could move my car, my exit was blocked by fire fighting equipment. I was stuck for three hours until they put the fire out. I had a lot of explaing to do at home,as my clothes reeked of smoke. Originally Posted by randallstoner

All that and no release? ouch!! did she at least make it up to you?

All that and no release? ouch!! did she at least make it up to you? Originally Posted by Toreador_one

Did she charge you for the extra time...

I met this stripper once, who I exchanged phone numbers one night. Well, one day she invites me over to her place for a little fun, and we're getting into ito K-9, when as I enter I hear this "pffft". I paused for a moment and moved on again hearing this loud "pfffft" noise again, the more and more I continued it was her pussy farting. I tried to hold back from laughing, but each fart Mr. Wiggles got the ebbie jeebies and couldn't stay focused. I came up with an excuse about two nights in a row not quiet up to par, to avoid embarrasing her, but inside I was laughing.

HAHAH i noticed men like to see Your face during BBBJ, so i usually show up w a rubber band on my wrist, i have long hair. Well this one time, i took a chop stick out of my bag and went towards the little head, He covered it up, pulled away, and Asked "what were You going to do with that thing?" i showed him in 2 seconds its to put my hair up, and quickly.

We had a great client. I won't tell his handle, he can chime in if he wants. He was busted by his wife on his computer and saw all of his aspd reviews. She ranted and raved about what she found, not so much the play time, but the MONEY he spent. He explained it away as being fantasy and bragging to make himself look good. In order to save the marriage, she made him go to counseling, actually, Sex Anonymous classes. This is where it gets interesting. Two points. 1. He goes to the classes faith fully. And guess what - IT'S A CO-ED CLASS!!! Men and women who are addicted to sex TOGETHER!! What a great country this is, the medical industry acting as a dating service. The 2nd fact: You only have to check in, don't have to stay for the whole meeting. He'd check in, and leave, because IT WAS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER FROM VALHALLA!!! Unbelievable. As I said, ONLY IN AMERICA.
Billy
The Wildflower Group
Starting a new protest group-"Free Roy Oswalt"

HAHAH i noticed men like to see Your face during BBBJ, so i usually show up w a rubber band on my wrist, i have long hair. Well this one time, i took a chop stick out of my bag and went towards the little head, He covered it up, pulled away, and Asked "what were You going to do with that thing?" i showed him in 2 seconds its to put my hair up, and quickly. Originally Posted by subcilla

No offense... but with your reputation for not pulling something out of your bag unless you intend to use it.... I'm just sayin'...

He was admiring how cute you were lol. And that sinister grin, that was his come fuck me face Originally Posted by luxury daphne

That's some scary shit.