Help Us Help YOU!! SCREENING 101

Care to share??

... Originally Posted by VictoriaLyn

I would love too.....

However I have been told that posting guidance on how a guy can see ladies, build up references and never share his personal information with a lady is a subject that would undermine the safety of the ladies and not be welcome for posting....

I happen to disagree and in all honesty feel that their business is just that.... their business.... and I post advice and comments far more in line with a hobbyist's point of view and with more concern for his safety..... Which in turn, in my beliefs, also provides for the safety of the ladies....

I don't discourage ladies from screening and I understand for a lot of guys they find it non threatening.... For a married a man or successful business man, someone in a high profile career with a career to lose..... It's an issue.

My position on screening is that a guy should carefully weigh the advantages vs potential disadvantageous to providing his personal information to any party in this hobby.

My original comment was simply that like ANY hobby, a participant should invest some time learning as well as gathering the necessary toold in order to be able to successfully and safely enjoy it.

It gets presented in these forums and shoved down guys throats constantly that screening is a required necessity to seeing ladies... When in fact many experienced hobbyists are able to see as many ladies they want as often as they want while never subjecting themselves to it....

Care to share??

Also 8/10 times all we need are provider refs for screening once you have that then no need for all that extra personal info to be given out each and everytime you want to play... Originally Posted by VictoriaLyn

Just so that the quote isn't taken out of context (again)...this is exactly what we keep saying..so what is the big deal???

why is there even a debate about issues not in effect?

...so what is the big deal??? Originally Posted by WickedHeather

That's exactly what I'm wondering?
If you have the references tell us I've seen her, her and her! Simple!
Once your screened or prescreened then the one liner's like
"Can I see you today?" and "Hi, I could sure use some lovin right now!"
do work!
Keep it simple and have fun!
Tess

There's always the ones that still send you half written emails with no information when you request references. I love it when you state your not newbie friendly and then say

"hey I'm new here and don have references can you still see me?"

WTF? Can you read my line that says references required.

I'm new here so no claws but even as a provider I agree with him. The ref's that I have checked for clients that are not into the hobby have been discreet or out of state which made it a little harder but I ALWAYS offer an alternative screening method for those... I think KarmaofAustin has a point though if you are a regular you know what you need to do. This is the first time that I have been a member of a board and I hope that will help with screening because my clients are UTR. Originally Posted by KatherineJones

Katherine, welcome to Austin and I hope your stay here is always a pleasant one. Thank you for acknowledging that I might have made a good point.

My statement was simply that we all have to determine what is safe for us. I have had some unreasonable requests for information in the past. The company I work for now has strict rules and procedures for employment verification. It is more than a simple call to find out if "John Doe" works there.

Last year I willingly provided 2 references to someone I was trying to meet for the first time and was ultimately told, "I don't know these two ladies, therefore I will not accept them." These were ladies who had reviews by "Established Gentleman" on the board I was a member of at the time. One lady I had known for 6 years.

I don't want any lady to compromise her safety. But things are not always as simple for the gentleman as some may think. Many will say, "What's the big deal?" For some of us it could be a very big deal.

Again, thanks for considering one guys point of view without judging my intent.

The only info I provide for screening is my handle on this board and previously on ASPD and several providers I have seen that are members of these same boards. I never divulge my full name or work numbers. This has worked well for many years. If I send an email with this info I will always let the lady know to check her PM's so she can verify my handle. I very rarely include providers contact info. I figure most of you providers either know each other or at least are familar with the providers handle and can very easily shoot her a PM.

Many of you ladies may already do this but a simple way for you to get references for a hobbyist that failed to provide them is to do a search on thier handle. If they have been around for any length of time they most likely have several reviews posted. You now have in your hands names, dates and most likely contact info of the most recent providers he has seen.

When I said, "what's the big deal" i was referring to giving your references as asked for. I really get annoyed at being misquoted or something i know i said being misused out of context.

when a guy writes a girl and tell her that he has "seen the top providers" but won't tell her who they are AND no matter how much they may respond in threads they don't write reviews....so WHY would he tell the lady he isn't going to tell her who it is he has seen??? and that is what i meant by what is the big deal.

and yes, most ladies completely understand that a gent is in a risky position...welcome to our world!! my point is that AT SOME POINT you will need to do do this, whether you do alternative screening thru a newbie friendly lady, or an agency or a screening service.

once you have done that, you look for ladies who will accept the type of screening you now have to offer...no, you are not going to have a FREE PASS to any lady no matter what. that's life. but if you will cooperate, do your homework and use the buddy system, established gents, screening doesn't have to be as painful as it's being reported to be.

i have been doing this for 3+ years and i will tell you that i probably could count on one hand the number of last names that i know...i use only references of ladies that i trust and respect, and they do the same. and being that i know quite a few ladies, and we have discussed extensively the screening process that we use, i find it hard to believe that all this personal info is having to be given out again, and again.

and if a lady asks for anything that makes you uncomforatable, move on. she has the right to ask for any info that makes her feel safer, you have the right to not give it, but do not expect to negotiate the standard that she has set. i think more than anything that is what aggravates most ladies...the screening isn't negotiable.

the difference is that if a lady is well reviewed and is well known, you already have an advantage over us...we, most of the time, have NO idea who you are.

When I said, "what's the big deal" i was referring to giving your references as asked for. I really get annoyed at being misquoted or something i know i said being misused out of context. Originally Posted by WickedHeather

Heather, I was not quoting you directly and apologize if that is how you took it. "What's the big deal" is a phrase I commonly use, as well as others in my family.

It has never been my intention to be a jerk or cause confrontation. All I was trying to do was illustrate why a guy might have reservations with certain things.

With that said, I will take my final curtain and I will now exit stage right.

If they have been around for any length of time they most likely have several reviews posted. You now have in your hands names, dates and most likely contact info of the most recent providers he has seen. Originally Posted by Budman

The VAST majority of active hobbyists never, or almost never write reviews. Most of them never even post. They may have a handle so they can read reviews, but that's it. Fortunately, most every guy that contacts me gives me a reference of an active, established provider or a P411 ID. Screening is not difficult with the majority of the gents who know what they're doing. So keep up the good work boys!

So how does a hobbyist get references if the providers keeps asking for references? I think that's one of the points being missed in this conversation is that a new hobbyist doesn't know who to see to go to get references in order to see a provider that requires references.

So how does a hobbyist get references if the providers keeps asking for references? ... Originally Posted by Sir Hardin Thicke

You either have to have "game" or you have to give up something for at least the first date.

"Game" doesn't work with a lot of the providers, but there are some.

Most "newbie friendly" providers still require some info in lieu of references. So you still have to do your research, find a provider with a solid reputation*, and decide whether you are willing to give up the info she requests. Once you have done this, you have that first 'reference" and you are off to the races.

Some providers don't take newbies at all. So even if you sign up on p411 (imho, one of the safer sites, since it is housed in Cananda), they won't see you till you have a couple of ok's logged.

Whispers says he doesn't go through screening, and I believe him. However, most newbies do have have the "hobby intelligence" or the time to invest in the hobby that he does. So he probably represents an extremely small percentage of actual hobbyists.

So the bottom line usually comes down to: give it up at least once, or stay out of the hobby.

* picking a provider with a solid reputation mimimizes (but does not negate entirely) the risks of providing info.

You either have to have "game" or you have to give up something for at least the first date.

"Game" doesn't work with a lot of the providers, but there are some.

Most "newbie friendly" providers still require some info in lieu of references. So you still have to do your research, find a provider with a solid reputation*, and decide whether you are willing to give up the info she requests. Once you have done this, you have that first 'reference" and you are off to the races.

Some providers don't take newbies at all. So even if you sign up on p411 (imho, one of the safer sites, since it is housed in Cananda), they won't see you till you have a couple of ok's logged.

Whispers says he doesn't go through screening, and I believe him. However, most newbies do have have the "hobby intelligence" or the time to invest in the hobby that he does. So he probably represents an extremely small percentage of actual hobbyists.

So the bottom line usually comes down to: give it up at least once, or stay out of the hobby.

* picking a provider with a solid reputation mimimizes (but does not negate entirely) the risks of providing info. Originally Posted by ezman

Very well said! If no one gets that along with the rest of the now garbled info, they never will.

*******Whispers doesn't go through screening because he <by his own words in several PM's to ladies> will either hijack/STEAL a P411 ID (WHICH IS WHY YOU DON'T SEND YOUR ID - YOU SIMPLY CLICK SEND A REQUEST) or berate some poor girl into going his way. Does that method garner you a future reference Newbie guys? NO!!!! As WH stated NONE of us will see anyone without a vouch from someone whose reputation we trust.
There are Newbie Friendly ladies who have STELLAR reputations. But you have to do your homework, as in all areas of beginning this hobby. Start with them and work your way up. You'll find your horizons broaden very quickly!!!

Do it the right way. The safe way. THE FUN WAY!!!! It's not as hard as the asshats and trolls are making it out to be, even for the UTR guys. Just keep in mind that we are WOMEN, human beings that have as much right to our safety as you do. Also know that NONE of us would have gotten to the level we're at or have the reputations we do by running out and giving up what little info we may have on any of you. In fact, most of us are equally as horrified at the thought of being outed as you are, so respect us and we'll love the hell out of you in return!!!!!


Much love.. Namaste~K

Nicely put Ezman. Of course on the other end of the spectrum a newbie can just stick to CL and BP as most of the ladies won't require a reference beyond a Franklin or two.

*******Whispers doesn't go through screening because he <by his own words in several PM's to ladies> will either hijack/STEAL a P411 ID (WHICH IS WHY YOU DON'T SEND YOUR ID - YOU SIMPLY CLICK SEND A REQUEST) or berate some poor girl into going his way. Originally Posted by karmaofaustin

PUT THE FUCK UP OR SHUT UP ON THAT ONE! Produce PMS or EMAILS from me that says that to ANY ADMIN of this board and if it is verified as being from me I will REMOVE MYSELF FROM THE BOARD PERMANENTLY!

HERE IS A PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHY NO MAN IS SAFE PROVIDING ANY INFORMATION TO SOMEONE LIKE YOU! WHEN YOU GET UPSET FOR SOME REASON YOU MAKE UNFOUNDED AND UNTRUE STATEMENTS!

HEAVEN HELP THE GUY THAT CROSSES SOME UNSTABLE INDIVIDUALS PATH THAT SEEKS TO DISCREDIT HIM AND SHE ACTUALLY HAS HIS PERSONAL INFORMATION.....

COME ON LADIES... ALL OF YOU THAT KARMA IS REPRESENTING...... BACK HER UP AND PROVIDE ADMIN WITH PROOF OF HER CLAIMS AND WHISPERS WILL BE A LONG FORGOTTEN MEMORY AROUND HERE BECAUSE I WILL VOLUNTARILY WITHDRAW FROM THE BOARD.....

PROVIDE YOUR INFORMATION TO P411 AS WELL... I'm sure they would be interested in hearing it too!

I have never hijacked anyone's handle or P411 account. Nor have I ever stole anyone's personal information or misrepresented myself to anyone. I have never berated anyone into seeing me!

PUT UP OR SHUT UP darlin....

I spend money and know how to communicate with ladies and between those two basics I never have an issue.

Now your displaying yourself as a pitiful soul that can't keep something going her way so she grabs crap from her ass and spews it out... I thought you were more capable of communication than that....

Guess I was wrong. You just joined the "pitiful twit category" in my book........

As I recall there were a string of accusations from you over on ASPD in it's waning days regarding Austin Mods/Admins that you also based on PMs and Emails to other ladies...... Seems to be a favorite phrase of yours...

Indeed you can!

Of course, once again.. and I hope for the last time.. lol.. this particular post was directed at the guys who want to see us girls that like to screen them there guys. So if them there aforementioned guys want to see us aforementioned screen happy ladies then they know how!

And in the end, it was great because it also let those who don't get replies or denied by certain ladies understand a possible reason why.

It's Friday..!!!! Do a happy dance that you're off work and now all ya have to do is pick the lovely ya wanna devour tonight!

I know I'm keepin that simple!! So many boobies..so little time..