Young Providers And Their Preferences

[QUOTE=bladtinzu;1051673683]No hostile work place. I treat my people with respect (once they earn it) and have loyalty beyond my imagination. Also helps that no one makes less that 70k a year. Even the lady who answers the phones and does all the filing does rather well if you consider her job and what I pay her. But that also leads to employee retention and if memory serves me correctly the average employee has been with me 10 years. The issue is when you make friends with other people inside this business I am in they will exploit it in a heartbeat. Just the nature of the beast. So jaded no.. Realist yes.

We see people very differently. I treat people with respect, until the show me they don't deserve it. Loyalty and protecting ones financial interests are very different. I'm glad you supply your employees with a substantial salary, but what you describe sounds more like fear of losing that security, not friendship. I am unaware of your field of business, so I can't say much. Indeed, if you are in a competitive, information tech, stock, or similar field, I can see you having to be constantly guarded and unwilling to build friendly relationships.


That is the issue. For me it is just sex. Nothing more nothing less. I never believed in shrinks because it isn't as ironclad as the lawyer client relationship. But you also know zero about my background. If you did you would maybe understand why in my office to this day there is a framed and matted verse which states "Three people can keep a secret if two are dead". That is a reminder that the only one you can really trust is yourself.

I agree, I don't know anything about your background, but from the bottom of my heart, I couldn't imagine going through life actually feeling that way. I mean, of course, like everyone, I'll get hurt, swear off trusting anyone, swear to never let anyone in again... But alas, sooner or later, one squeezes through the cracks; and I wouldn't have it any other way. The sublime and surreal experience of giving yourself up to anther human being entirely is something I never want to live without. Like the phoenix, I want to love hard and ferociously, have it die in a blaze of fire and ash, and then do it all over again, and again and again. I don't mean the marry me love, but the very real, very human connections I build with those I let into my world. I must say, the three people keeping secrets thing is kinda creepy. Is it some kind of warning to the office staff? Care to elaborate?

I just don't bond.. Been married and divorced 3 times. Out of those I only "bonded" with the first wife. That was my once in a lifetime thing. No need to try and fool myself that it will ever happen again. After that it just is not in me anymore.

I hope you're not too old m'dear, so that you might have enough time left breathing for some wonderful, thick skinned, woman to prove you wrong. Hell, I wish you wouldn't wait for her to come around and take the plunge yourself! I don't know, perhaps I'm in love with love.. You sound like an intelligent enough man, I'm sure you know deep down that what you're saying is in some form a defense mechanism, and I hope you haven't really extinguished your humanity all together. We, as the carbon beings we are, need human connections. Thats why a man put in solitary confinement for too long, eventually loses his mind. It's not fooling yourself, its allowing yourself.

Thus everyone is different. Some people can develop feelings where others cannot. I just happen to be realist enough to know after the once in a lifetime thing there is no use in even trying. Yeah the first five years after were hard but like most things it got eaiser with time and now is just programed into my nature.

I beg to differ sweetheart. The only people who can't, really can't develop feelings for other people are the poor souls who are sociopaths, severe narcissists, or a few of the other psychologically debilitating mental conditions that simply don't allow for it within the brain. Just because you still love or ache for your ex so strongly, doesn't mean you can't love, it just means you love so hard, that it still stays with you. Maybe it hurt so bad that you decided never to let it happen again; to be that vulnerable? You can't program your mind against it's core values, and you can say whatever you will, but once in a while, when you're too tired to keep it at bay, or maybe after a few drinks, I'm sure you still feel the ache. You're only human after all.

And for some strange reason people say I am easy to talk to. Guess it is because I am detatched and don't get involved on an emotional level at all. Which I guess is why I was so good at what I did during and after college and why I am so good at my "legit" business now. And yes I have done some really shitty things in my past but past is past.. I am quite content with the way things are now days. So don't feel sorry for me. I'm living life as I want to and enjoying the holy hell out of every second of it.

Like I said, you seem to be an intelligent man, your views and opinions lead me to believe you've mastered manipulation, as well as developed a keen sense for picking up on what others are trying to omit.. You "read" people well? Someone with these skills can put anyone at ease. We've all done shitty things, thats just part of the life process. I'm glad you feel content, but I still feel sorry for you. Simply because, although I don't doubt you are having fun and living it up your way, your missing out on one of thee single most wonderful things being alive and being human has to offer. Love.

By the by, being a realist doesn't mean the same as being a pessimist. If you can't see the real emotion behind anyone's eyes, I stand behind my initial assumption of you being jaded.

couldn't get the quote to work right, so I just changed my text color.

We see people very differently. I treat people with respect, until the show me they don't deserve it. Loyalty and protecting ones financial interests are very different. I'm glad you supply your employees with a substantial salary, but what you describe sounds more like fear of losing that security, not friendship. I am unaware of your field of business, so I can't say much. Indeed, if you are in a competitive, information tech, stock, or similar field, I can see you having to be constantly guarded and unwilling to build friendly relationships. Originally Posted by Calista_Syn

Oh I respect when that is also earned.

I agree, I don't know anything about your background, but from the bottom of my heart, I couldn't imagine going through life actually feeling that way. I mean, of course, like everyone, I'll get hurt, swear off trusting anyone, swear to never let anyone in again... But alas, sooner or later, one squeezes through the cracks; and I wouldn't have it any other way. The sublime and surreal experience of giving yourself up to anther human being entirely is something I never want to live without. Like the phoenix, I want to love hard and ferociously, have it die in a blaze of fire and ash, and then do it all over again, and again and again. I don't mean the marry me love, but the very real, very human connections I build with those I let into my world. I must say, the three people keeping secrets thing is kinda creepy. Is it some kind of warning to the office staff? Care to elaborate? Originally Posted by Calista_Syn

I decided that none will slip through the cracks because I honestly want no one.

And the quote is just a reminder of how business can be if you allow yourself to fall into the trappings of emotions and feelings.

I hope you're not too old m'dear, so that you might have enough time left breathing for some wonderful, thick skinned, woman to prove you wrong. Hell, I wish you wouldn't wait for her to come around and take the plunge yourself! I don't know, perhaps I'm in love with love.. You sound like an intelligent enough man, I'm sure you know deep down that what you're saying is in some form a defense mechanism, and I hope you haven't really extinguished your humanity all together. We, as the carbon beings we are, need human connections. Thats why a man put in solitary confinement for too long, eventually loses his mind. It's not fooling yourself, its allowing yourself. Originally Posted by Calista_Syn

Still a hair under 40 so.. Those going insane are weak minded. A strong mind and greater resolve can do wonders.

I beg to differ sweetheart. The only people who can't, really can't develop feelings for other people are the poor souls who are sociopaths, severe narcissists, or a few of the other psychologically debilitating mental conditions that simply don't allow for it within the brain. Just because you still love or ache for your ex so strongly, doesn't mean you can't love, it just means you love so hard, that it still stays with you. Maybe it hurt so bad that you decided never to let it happen again; to be that vulnerable? You can't program your mind against it's core values, and you can say whatever you will, but once in a while, when you're too tired to keep it at bay, or maybe after a few drinks, I'm sure you still feel the ache. You're only human after all. Originally Posted by Calista_Syn

My feelings for the first ex wife are friendly. That is just it. As for feeling loss. Sure but that is just what it is. A tragic loss. Wasn't either parties fault. A tragic event happened which killed her emotionally. She still some almost 16 years later is not over it.

And as for keeping it at bay. Mind over matter. I never get emotional so it never comes up that way. And as for drinking. I never reach a point where I am out of control. So no ache there either. Human yes. Just learned way early in life to control emotions that might be exploited as weakness.

Like I said, you seem to be an intelligent man, your views and opinions lead me to believe you've mastered manipulation, as well as developed a keen sense for picking up on what others are trying to omit.. You "read" people well? Someone with these skills can put anyone at ease. We've all done shitty things, thats just part of the life process. I'm glad you feel content, but I still feel sorry for you. Simply because, although I don't doubt you are having fun and living it up your way, your missing out on one of thee single most wonderful things being alive and being human has to offer. Love. Originally Posted by Calista_Syn

Spot on. Except I am not missing out on anything.

By the by, being a realist doesn't mean the same as being a pessimist. If you can't see the real emotion behind anyone's eyes, I stand behind my initial assumption of you being jaded.

couldn't get the quote to work right, so I just changed my text color. Originally Posted by Calista_Syn

No worries. And jaded.. Possible but I prefer to call it realist. Because after all it is real is it not?

I agree totally with Lea, this is a business for whatever the client desires, and when the provider regardless of age realizes how to figure that out she's a good one! I've been married a long time, so when I search out a provider I'm looking for one that represents the type women I would pursue outside the hobby. I enjoy feeling like I'm on a date with someone, or finishing a date with her! But yeah at the end of the day it's a business, just like the chick who cuts your hair, baby sits your kids, or waits your table there all kissing ass to get paid!! Second if I were single I wouldn't be doing this shit anyway, I'd just trade high quality women out about once a month!! It's not hard to get laid once you know how pathetic your competition really is!! If most of use weren't married allot of so called providers would really be sol and bp would finally die a delightful pitiful death lol!!

AAAhh the objective vs subjective reality discussion!

I like to think that concentrating on enough objective stimuli will make my subjective reality happy and pleasurable enough to be shared within the context of a mutual subjective reality that is illusory enough to, well, be mutually satisfying. Or in the words of the lady...leave us breathless! Doesn't clear up much about reality but says a lot about art...

On the other hand I don't like to think that hard during sex...especially in the hands of a true artist like Lea! And I'm thinking the erotic art experience is the next step above PSE??