Providers not responding to reference requests

Like Lost, I value my privacy too. It took me a while to get a P411 account (with okays) and a few ECCIE reviews. Most ladies have no issues with the pre-screening and requests for appointments from P411. However, a few ask for additional information/verification - which makes me wonder what is the purpose of having a verification account if I have to be re-screened? I realize that it is for the a lady's safety, but that is the reason we have verification accounts.
A reason that we research (and ladies screen) is to ensure our safety so that we can have fun, safely...

Annie, I apologize for not getting back to you recently.

Besides being negligent in my emails I don't know why a lady would knowingly not help out another provider. I believe in hooker karma that's why I always try to be helpful when I can because I'll never know when I will need someone else's help in the future. I don't want no bad hooker ju-ju floating around me.

I guess I do this all wrong... is there a How to be a Insecure Hooker 101 book?

I cannot imagine ignoring a reference check and then pretty much begging a guy to see me by offering huge discount for him NOT to see another lady. Id much rather a guy want to see me because of want.. not because of cheap pussy.

Anyway...I am ALL about being reference friendly. Mostly because i actually find it hot that i know a lady is about to get some good man meat!! Its almost as good as being there and watching... but since im not.. the second best thing is to know his face and his skills...and know she is about to have some hot boink! And its even better when i know the lady and I know he is about to get his ass handed to him by a sexy wild n fun lady...

I do make a mental list tho... ladies who cant show enough respect or self security to respond to a reference check... def get put on block and wont get shit from me in return. Not to mention I let the guy know that she is indeed not reference friendly. Most of the guys I see find that highly disrespectful and refuse to see a non reference friendly lady again.

check the alerts, if there aren't any against me, wouldn't I be legit? Would an active provider tolerate a person putting up review that they never met? Originally Posted by lostforkate

So let me ask this question. If I as a client want to see you and I offer up several names for a reference and none of the ladies reply back, will you still see me even though you couldn't verify my reference? This is kinda important b/c if you won't see me b/c through no fault of mine that a provider doesn't respond, then it is very unfair to me as a client. I've given you the names. I can't help if they don't respond. BTW, I always ask if it is okay to use a lady as a reference. I've never been denied. For us guys, maybe we need to amend our reviews. If a lady doesn't respond to a reference request, maybe we go back and downgrade the TCB portion of the review. Originally Posted by Cpalmson

No alerts? Doesn't mean your legit
Reviewing someone you never met? Totally happens, more often than you think.
I'm probably one of the more stricter screeners on this site.

In this siutation where the refs do not reply, I would NOT see you. Unfair? I didn't choose your refs, you did & apparantly you failed to verify she would be a ref for you. Names of providers mean nothing, unless they will vouch for you. Here are a few situations I have come across that might enlighten the hobbyists on what we go through.

Situation 1: Gent gave me his refs. One of which was a VERY commonly used handle on the site. Sent it out to the provider I thought he was referring to. She replied that she saw him & he was a gentleman. Upon clarification with the gent, found out I sent the ref to the wrong provider. Told her what happened and she replied "Oh sorry about that. I just vouch for anyone that uses me as a ref bc I can't remember everyone. If they use me as a ref, I assume the are legit" I no longer accept her as a ref.

Situation 2: Gent gave me a few refs that were pretty high volume ladies and not the best at responding to ref requests. Ref 1 replied: I probably saw him, I just don't remember. Ref 2 (he wrote a review on this one): did not reply to my text, pm, or email over several days. Pushed for more refs. Ref 3: No reply. I declined to see him.
Several days later, Ref 2 replied... I DID NOT see him. I wrote back that he has a review on you. Her reply "oh yeah, I just saw that. I know he didn't see me, I can't vouch for him". I asked if she wanted me to forward the message to mod to take down review. Her reply "no, it's a positive review, so just leave it" I reported him to a mod. They never took down the review bc the provider in question didn't report it.

Situation 3: Gent with lots of reviews gave me 4 refs. Only 2 got back to me but vouched for him. Nothing in the alerts sections. I had a HORRIBLE experience and he tried to justify shorting me. Made me feel awful. I contacted his refs to let them know. They both said, they got treated & shorted the same way, but thought it was just them so went ahead and vouched for him. Later someone else started a long alerts thread about him & someone else posted a link to an earlier thread about him. I didn't see the earlier alerts thread bc his handle was spelled wrong in the first thread that would have stopped me in my tracks. THREE months later, one of the refs that hadn't responded, sent me a message saying what an awful experience it was and how he shorted her.

I give feedback to a hobbyist about the providers that responded and if they went a little further and said nice things, I pass that onto him as well. If she doesn't respond or won't give refs, I ask him to try contacting her to ask her to get in touch with me. If she gives a bad ref or I find an alert, I won't tell him bc I'm not about to alert someone that can just change their info and try to pass as a dif person.

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In this siutation where the refs do not reply, I would NOT see you. Originally Posted by atxdream

What if the guy give you his references via his p411 page witth all his oks. If none of those ladies answer would you still follow the same do not see procedure.

If so why even give you his p411 info in the first place to book. Why should any of us? We should just save and right click a list of names and number you can go down on. Maybe some of the providers who don't respond promptly don't care or don't have time to dialogue and consider the ok they gave sufficient.

Lucky not all providers feel the need to go that extra step all the time, which makes booking much faster. If my car fit the description of a known robbery, and I was pulled over by a cop and showed my id............and all info he found was kosher, there's no need to do a cavity search.......just let me go lol.

the last I heard reference requests were a courtesy not a requirement. If you have to rely on references as your only source for screening you may be doing this wrong...

http://missy-mariposa.com/reference.htm

We ALL need to be working together to keep each other safe. Safety first, money second <3

the last I heard reference requests were a courtesy not a requirement. If you have to rely on references as your only source for screening you may be doing this wrong...

References are one of the simplest ways we can keep each other safe, and while they ARE a courtesy they also ARE the NORM. So I think if you (as a provider) don't want to provide them then you need to tell your clients up front as they probably think you'll provide one if needed. A website notice (for other ladies) would be a courtesy but is not necessary.

atxdream - You gave great reasons not to trust the reference method of screening, so I am confused if you defended use of references or not, or just showing caution in whatever method is chosen and educating the readers.

I agree that the absence of alert is not a guarantee, but i think it could a be a barometer.

In your signature, you say p411 rocks, and I have tried it and do not see it as user friendly for clients, and have not yet desired a provider so much that requires p411, to get verified on p411.

The screening process really just come down to personal preferences combined with business decisions, just like the real world. To each their own, and I am sure we all find clients and providers to match our styles.

No alerts? Doesn't mean your legit
Reviewing someone you never met? Totally happens, more often than you think.
I'm probably one of the more stricter screeners on this site.
Originally Posted by atxdream

http://missy-mariposa.com/reference.htm

We ALL need to be working together to keep each other safe. Safety first, money second <3

References are one of the simplest ways we can keep each other safe, and while they ARE a courtesy they also ARE the NORM. So I think if you (as a provider) don't want to provide them then you need to tell your clients up front as they probably think you'll provide one if needed. A website notice (for other ladies) would be a courtesy but is not necessary. Originally Posted by Missy Mariposa

please don't make inferences about me. I made a simple statement, anyone who has ever asked me for a reference got it in a timely manner, but if I ever choose not to give a specific hobbyist or provider a reference I reserve that right. As does everyone. As far as your 'NORM' it doesn't make the fact that they are a COURTESY given and does not make them a requirement. If you get one, you should be grateful and say thank you (which many ladies do not), and if not it's no reason to rake anyone over the coals imho, unless the guy specifically asked her to be a reference beforehand. Clients should 1. ask the provider if she'll give him a reference AND 2. don't offer up a ladies phone number if it's not posted to provide a reference.

as far as the 'keeping women safe' part, if you are solely dependent on SOMEONE ELSE to keep YOU safe and carry your water all the time, there's something seriously wrong there. True references have their purpose, but that should only be a sand sifter at best.

thank you.

However, a few ask for additional information/verification - which makes me wonder what is the purpose of having a verification account. .. Originally Posted by plainjoe

The additional information is to weed out nut jobs.

I don't feel that I should waste my time trying to track down a reference from someone who ultimately isn't going to vouch for a hobbyist when I do reach her. I also feel that if a hobbyist gives a lady's name as a ref he has put a certain level of trust in that lady and deserves to know that his trust has or has not been well-placed.

For those reasons, among others, I no longer ask for reference information from a potential client. Instead, I ask him to email or PM 2-4 ladies he believes will vouch for him and ask them to forward the message to me via email or PM and include any comments they wish to include as a reference on his behalf.

Now, when a gent asks me how the screening is coming and I've not received anything on his behalf, I tell him (with confidence that he doesn't just think I'm procrastinating the screening) that I've not heard from anyone. Often, he will simply ask me if there is another way and proceeds to provide information for a traditional screening process. Sure, the ladies he contacts can discount their usual rate to convince him to see them instead of meet with me. If that works for a provider, more power to her for getting the money he would have spent with me, but her rate is probably less than mine already and he's not getting what he wants at that rate. At least he knows who does and who does not support his hobby.

On the flip side, I am reference friendly and my vouchers include more relevant information that the "I've seen him and he's super-nice" vouchers I receive 99% of the time. If you want to know about someone who has seen me, I'm the one to ask, for sure... Just one time I would love to receive a reference as thoughtful as the references I offer!! I won't hold my breath. But I give my references with a great deal of respect for personal privacy and discretion. I will never (not ever) vouch for a fella who has not asked me to speak on his behalf and specifically stated to whom he wishes me to speak. In the past, ladies have done some unsolicited pre-screening of my clients in order to launch targeted campaigns to get new business. I make sure my clients are only screened by those he wishes to see as far as I am able.

please don't make inferences about me. I made a simple statement, anyone who has ever asked me for a reference got it in a timely manner, but if I ever choose not to give a specific hobbyist or provider a reference I reserve that right. As does everyone. As far as your 'NORM' it doesn't make the fact that they are a COURTESY given and does not make them a requirement. If you get one, you should be grateful and say thank you (which many ladies do not), and if not it's no reason to rake anyone over the coals imho, unless the guy specifically asked her to be a reference beforehand. Clients should 1. ask the provider if she'll give him a reference AND 2. don't offer up a ladies phone number if it's not posted to provide a reference.

as far as the 'keeping women safe' part, if you are solely dependent on SOMEONE ELSE to keep YOU safe and carry your water all the time, there's something seriously wrong there. True references have their purpose, but that should only be a sand sifter at best.

thank you. Originally Posted by Luxury Daphne

Wow! I agree with Daphne...

http://missy-mariposa.com/reference.htm

We ALL need to be working together to keep each other safe. Safety first, money second <3

References are one of the simplest ways we can keep each other safe, and while they ARE a courtesy they also ARE the NORM. Originally Posted by Missy Mariposa

From my experience I would completely agree. I worry about a few friends who sometimes short their safety because they feel they need the money more. There is no perfect screening, but if we play nice and cooperate references are the best option invented yet. Some of the examples given in this thread seem like examples of how not to play nice.

Clients should 1. ask the provider if she'll give him a reference AND 2. don't offer up a ladies phone number if it's not posted to provide a reference.

as far as the 'keeping women safe' part, if you are solely dependent on SOMEONE ELSE to keep YOU safe and carry your water all the time, there's something seriously wrong there. True references have their purpose, but that should only be a sand sifter at best.

thank you. Originally Posted by Luxury Daphne

Daphne, I agree with much of what you say, especially about making sure a guy checks with a lady before using her as a reference, and about not giving out her private info. But I always wonder when a lady says references are a lesser part of what she uses to screeen. Typically it means they don't really screen OR she requires some very personal information. For some men that is not a problem, but for many of us it is. In my case it just means I skip over those ladies--no harm no foul. I would not ask you to post what you feel are better screening methods that also protect a reasonable amount of everyone's privacy--but if you are willing to talk more I would appreciate a PM.

It has happened to me as well with no response for reference requests.
I get it that some providers are not reference friendly I have no issue with that but just say"Hey,I am not reference friendly".That is a lot better than just ignoring a person.

I had gent use two providers as references one responded the other one never responded back to me.But,she did contact the gent and offer a very big discount to see her instead of me.When I saw the gent he told me what the second provider did IMO not cool!I am reference friendly as long as the provider gives me some kind of info about who she is links to her website,ad,P411 profile.I have gotten reference requests from providers who have provided no info at all which is frustrating why do I have to research who a provider is before giving out a reference.

I think most of us has gone through not getting a response from providers.When this happens I just ask for other info to verify.I wonder if some of these providers do not answer purposefully so the gent can then see them instead. Originally Posted by jaydalee

I totally agree with your entire post especially what I put in red. I want to keep both ladies and my clients safe. It is a pet peeve if I have to research them. A couple of times I had to email my clients to ask if they were wanting to see this provider or not (who knows, it could be a SO checking up on them).