Meet for a drink? Dinner date or both ?

Actually you would probably be surprised by how flexible I can be. My quoted rate for a five day trip to San Francisco (with my days to free to do what I want) was only a smidge more than my overnigh rate. Regular clients with good chemistry get lots of perks. Originally Posted by SillyGirl

As long as it is not in public. Five days behind closed doors in a small room, percks or not: ugh. Or five days w/o the (provider) person the client has brought and is fond of and then the provider dissing and leaving him alone in the day to only have a few hours or "perks" in the evening? Looking at $5,000-$6,000, 10 hours "private time" probably a separate room for you another $1,000. And I was actually called the cynical one by someone.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr0Z8BoMaQE

Locally it is an indiscretion in my opinion. May-December is a big thing for me as I do not like to look like what I am. lol

I took my ATF to dinner once with a booking after. She was rather inept in that situation(nice place) and got really blasted. Then we had 2 cars and a lot of distance. I could not/did not abandon her and I then had to baby sit until she halfway sobered up. Doing shots at Cafe Trio was pretty gauche?

I am pretty antisocial these days and am a people person for right about the time frame of a normal encounter.

Love is a one hour illusion in these cases and best left at that.

Locally it is an indiscretion in my opinion.... Originally Posted by catnipdipper

I agree, but of course this depends on your personal situation. That's why I prefer not to play with locals in my backyard, and won't see a provider "in public" when in my backyard.

I do many dinner dates. I find it's very relaxing and takes the edge off when your seeing a new guest. So many friends are very nervous, and find it beneficial to have a couple of cocktails, and or dinner before enjoying dessert.

As long as it is not in public. Five days behind closed doors in a small room, percks or not: ugh. Or five days w/o the (provider) person the client has brought and is fond of and then the provider dissing and leaving him alone in the day to only have a few hours or "perks" in the evening? Looking at $5,000-$6,000, 10 hours "private time" probably a separate room for you another $1,000. And I was actually called the cynical one by someone.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr0Z8BoMaQE Originally Posted by buzzworm86

You are just mind numbingly dense.

I've had a couple of dinner dates with providers but only with ladies I've been involved with for a long time. Never with someone new.

I'm a nice guy and not toooo bad looking so in some cases they go just because they like my company and good food. In a couple of cases, we negotiated for the amount for the time. They really weren't doing anything anyway so they were going to make something on their time all the same... even at a discounted rate.

You are just mind numbingly dense. Originally Posted by SillyGirl

Thanks for the ad hominem comment. Sorry, but there is no reason to get nasty.

One lady in Dallas uses public meets as a screening tool.
Seems to work well for her. You ladies should, by stopwatch standards, charge for screening and any pre date banter.

When I first started in the hobby I assumed meet and greet / dinner dates would actually be more of the norm. I figured people would want to get to know each other a bit before hand. I was actually a bit surprised by the prevalence of the half-hour / hour "cold" meeting. Obviously I wised up to the time is money mentality which makes sense now. However I still think there is something exciting (for both parties) in having a small activity beforehand that helps build up the anticipation for the main attraction. A couple drinks and lots of flirting can go a long way!

As long as it is not in public. Five days behind closed doors in a small room, percks or not: ugh. Or five days w/o the (provider) person the client has brought and is fond of and then the provider dissing and leaving him alone in the day to only have a few hours or "perks" in the evening? Looking at $5,000-$6,000, 10 hours "private time" probably a separate room for you another $1,000. And I was actually called the cynical one by someone. Originally Posted by buzzworm86

Five overnights even with only the evenings on the clock, for the cost of a bit more than an overnight? Sounds reasonable to me. Perhaps I'm missing something? Why would there be a separate room, is that standard practice in out of town overnights?

When I first started in the hobby I assumed meet and greet / dinner dates would actually be more of the norm. I figured people would want to get to know each other a bit before hand. I was actually a bit surprised by the prevalence of the half-hour / hour "cold" meeting. Obviously I wised up to the time is money mentality which makes sense now. However I still think there is something exciting (for both parties) in having a small activity beforehand that helps build up the anticipation for the main attraction. A couple drinks and lots of flirting can go a long way!



Five overnights even with only the evenings on the clock, for the cost of a bit more than an overnight? Sounds reasonable to me. Perhaps I'm missing something? Why would there be a separate room, is that standard practice in out of town overnights? Originally Posted by ampad

Hey everyone, both provider and hobbist, come to a very personal understanding on overnights....but especially on out of town visits.
There are not hard rules, because the circumstances are so individually unique. However, agreeing to such a ridiculous arrangement, in my personal opinion, merely re-inforces the line....there's a new sucker born evey hour

In terms of taking someone out of town, and only being "allowed" to hang with said person in evenings only...heck when you find someone willing to agree to that one...let me have the opportunity to sell them some beach front property in Arizona...'cause I'm willing to share the
"perks" of my friendship as well, lol.

As far as dinner dates, that's a totally different deal. Has anyone ever expected their attorney or accountant (especially on an initial visit)
to have dinner for free, b4 getting down to business....I think not, so why should we have those expectations with a provider.

Of course, just as you would with ur lawyer or accoutant, if it is part of a long standing relationship, that is something totally different.

Public meeting - local is a big problem for many a client or provider in many cases I would think. Most have "lives" out side the hobby. How to explain the public appearance when a friend, work associate, relative or spouse might appear?

I was at a jazz performance over the bridge one time with an AFT and saw the so's boss there. The AFT had other skills and had done some projects for me so "running" into her at the show was easy to explain. If that had not been the case, well I might have turned up in the bay the next day! Some women can be malicious you know!

If both are free to roam, and the lady invites an outting, it really is just a "date". If the gent invites, then negotiate. However many ladies do have a posted public time rate so that would not be necessary, but a full BCD rate for social time would seem a little high but...

If you think about it ........it has merit.

It would be impossible for 2 people to enjoy each other's company 24/7. I think she is suggesting that there are perhaps things in the locale that would interest her(museum or gallery) and that you might be a pain in the ass to bring along and dampen the experience. At the same time you might like to lay on the beach or play with the remote while she is gone.

It seems to be an issue of control? By her discount she should have the freedom to use the time to her advantage. I don't presume to speak for her but I doubt she meant that she would be out fucking half of San Francisco and then coming home to dinner with you.

It has merit.

I miss our dinners & lunches sweet Omahan! We've had some great times, walking through downtown have we not?

I, in fact last night was a prime example, will go out for dinner with a gent, but generally like to eat AFTER play time. No need for me to get full and then have no desire for dessert!

In the past, while living in Phoenix, the norm was to charge for the extra time. However, if a gent and I are cool with each other, I have no problem - IF I have the extra time, going out for a bite. The only time it gets tricky is when gents take that as a sign that they might be able to become more than just my friend. Um... no.... LOL

There are some places here in town (but no so much in other cities) that I refuse to go to dinner with for personal reasons. I have no desire to run into people in my personal life and therefore, when a gent suggests dinner (whether it is preplanned, or like last night on the fly), I will nix any suggestion that may involve me running into certain folks in my life.

Groovy Thursday to yall!
xo
Jazz

Personally I won't pay for social time although I don't expect or demand it. If I get to be friends with a provider and she wants to go out to dinner I will certainly treat her but that's it. Originally Posted by Omahan

If you think about it ........it has merit.

It would be impossible for 2 people to enjoy each other's company 24/7. I think she is suggesting that there are perhaps things in the locale that would interest her(museum or gallery) and that you might be a pain in the ass to bring along and dampen the experience. At the same time you might like to lay on the beach or play with the remote while she is gone.

It seems to be an issue of control? By her discount she should have the freedom to use the time to her advantage. I don't presume to speak for her but I doubt she meant that she would be out fucking half of San Francisco and then coming home to dinner with you.

It has merit. Originally Posted by catnipdipper

I would think at that agreed amount HE would be her entire focus, and that was the point Buzz attempted to make I believe......but than I can be dense at times lol.

What you guys might be missing on SG's post or for any lady that is traveling with her client, the days might be free to the provider because the client is working during the day and isn't able to be with her, but wants her there just in case.

I've gone out of town with clients before and the days were me time because of work. Hell, there's been a few times that some of the night were for me too because work.

HE would be her main focus if HE were available 24/7. But even then its not to much to ask to have an hour or two to yourself.

Don't be jumping to conclusions.