What Makes a Girl Your Regular? A narrower explanation

My last ATF lived 5 minutes from me. I met her when I found I had a lot of free time to slip out of the office for a quick get together.

I'd stop by the liquor store (although on occasion she brought over the party favors) and be at her place 30 mins after I called her. She had music playing, lights down low, and something enticing on as she stood by the bar ready to serve or be served the social lubricant of the day.

We'd have a few drinks, then get to partying...most days. There were occasions (like my introducing her to Chocolate Martinis) where an early evening wasn't in the cards. The lady had no other appointments, and so it was decided that spending the better part of the evening with me was better than sitting alone. We drank and fucked so much that every piece of furniture in the place got in on the action.

That was a rarity, but it kept me coming back on the off chance that the stars would align a second time. It never did, but I got enough out of the relationship that I never felt short changed by any of our meetings...it worked as well as it did because she was able to fill a hole in her schedule when little was going on, so money was less of a concern than finding a john who was generally agreeable, and wasn't a bottom feeder. Sounded like the perfect relationship, if you ask me. Still trying to string together another one.

Tctx13 makes many great points. I met a favorite a few months ago – she is not local, but travels, and I make every effort to meet her. Why? Well, because we simply “click.” We have a great experience and connect like good old friends. And yes, the sex is great too. Tigercat mentioned that it’s easy to make guys orgasm. How we achieve that state (and with who) is at discussion here. Of course, I would not have sex with my good, old friends, but I would with this one! We hang out, have fun, have great sex, then the real world takes over, and we part ways – keep in touch once in a while through e-mail, no phone/text – well, maybe once in a while. E-mail, of course is through HOBBY e-mail account as is the phone/text. The time between our sessions increases the anticipation (especially for me) and we can discuss our next session(s). Thus, she has become my ATF.

Its sounds like for the most part its different for each guy and what he is looking for. You asked how often I would see an ATF/REG provider well where i live here in west texas almost all of the providers only tour here a few times a yesr some more then others so I guess what makes a reg for me is how often she comes to my area. If i really connect with a certain person and everything is mind blowing ill try to see her every chance i get and ill also make sure to try to see her when she comes if she gives me notice before hand like a couple weeks before comming so i can keep an open schedual for her. Im single so i dont mind if providers txt or call me anytime and several do but as far as txt clients make sure its ok with him first.

Excellent topic. This is like seeking the elusive unicorn (a regular/ongoing situation) and yes I do feel it can be done.

For me, it's about the general chemistry, location/availability (I usually can meet mornings until up to 2pm or so and on weekends), attraction, hygiene and of course the service. I like certain things: kissing, DATY (alot), and someone who wears lingere, stockings or other playfull outfits at times. Once, I found that situation and it worked for just over a year with a nearly weekly visit with very good GFE/chemistry, then she moved to Seattle (which is a tad far for me... lol) as her ex-husband moved and took her kids there (so understandably she wanted to stay close). Mutual pleasure was indeed a nice result of that type of arrangement as we learned what buttons really set the other off (that gal could seriously explode!). It's been just over two years since that regular moved on.

I'm fairly patient and deliberate in life, so I have faith that eventually I'll find something like that again.

Thanks for posting that question. It made me think and also remember a few nice memories.

Wonderful tips guys!

Dear lady,

From what you write, you are aware of—and are doing—the things that are in your control. But no matter what you do, it will not work f=with all guys. In fact, what attracts one man is exactly what will drive another away.

For example: I like to exchange short e-mails and texts with ladies. A brief surprise “Hi! How are you doing today? How was your trip to the mountains? I’d love to see a picture!” in my morning in-box from a pretty lady will brighten my whole day—for other men, any unsolicited e-mail is likely to have them scratch you off their list of repeat ladies.

I would continue to work on making sure there is some chemistry, make sure your rates are competitive with the other ladies of similar quality in your area, and I would add a few small touches that let a guy know that he is a little special to you. Those don’t have to be big things, just remembering something he wrote in his introductory e-mail and mentioning it when you see him—so he knows you actually read it and remember HIM (the same thing works in the other direction as well). Discounts to repeat clients are rarely rejected, but also not required. And contrary to what many guys will say, a small complement about our shirt, or hair, etc., is not as unnoticed as we would have you believe—again, it shows that you actually noticed the PERSON standing there.

After that, if a guy doesn’t repeat, assume it is more about him than about what you didn’t do right—some guys like the variety above all.

Good luck.

Like a good bartender she knows what you like and is ready for it when you walk in,but knows you well enough when something is off and a little more time is necessary. Knows when you need a little" hot damn". Also, will let you know when she needs a little TLC as well.

It's also nice when she is willing to share a little non BCD with you as long as you are not taking advantage of too much of her time. I recently had a little time with a gal who kicked my ass in pool and I loved it(although I am going to spend more time shooting pool before I see her again) LOL.

To me there is a difference between an ATF and a regular. I have had both. An ATF is a provider with whom you have developed a special bond more than a simple provider client relationship. I get the feeling that they want to be with me. I have spent time off the clock with them, and they do it not because they want me to be a regular, but rather because they truly enjoy spending time with me and I enjoy spending time with them. We do occasionally communicate with each other outside of appointments because we are truly interested in each other. This type of relationship is rare. Fortunately I have been blessed to have had this happen twice.
A regular is a provider whom I am attracted to physically, and who rocks my world in the bedroom. Her rates are reasonable compared to other providers and maybe she offers me little perks occasionally. Perhaps like extra time, or maybe a discounted rate. No, I do not want to get random texts from her. I don't expect to get close to her, or know any personal info about her.

I always wondered why people get the term ATF wrong, it means All Time Favorite you can't have several ATF's you can only have one, the rest are just favorites. if you considered yourself having more then one then you never really had one.

Its all about connection for me. She knows me, knows my moods and responds appropriately. She has to be someone I trust implicitly and be a good listener but also have the balls to tell me if I'm acting like a big baby and need to grow a pair. My current ATF is exactly that and so much more. She does the little things that matter to me. For example, she was on a tour recently and while on tour she would drop me a text just checking in, saying hello. She also sent me some photos of herself while she was gone which made the anticipation of her return all more searing. I have no idea if she did this for other clients as well and frankly I don't care if she did but by her doing that for me, she made me feel like I meant something to her.

I tell my ATF things I don't tell anyone else. I confide in her and she listens without judgement. Whether it is true or not she makes me feel like she is on my side. She plays a roll in my life, knows what I need and gives that to me whether it is physical or emotional. Plus she is gorgeous and smart. At this stage of my life I need my mind stimulated as much as any other part of me.

Dear lady,

From what you write, you are aware of—and are doing—the things that are in your control. But no matter what you do, it will not work f=with all guys. In fact, what attracts one man is exactly what will drive another away.

For example: I like to exchange short e-mails and texts with ladies. A brief surprise “Hi! How are you doing today? How was your trip to the mountains? I’d love to see a picture!” in my morning in-box from a pretty lady will brighten my whole day—for other men, any unsolicited e-mail is likely to have them scratch you off their list of repeat ladies.

I would continue to work on making sure there is some chemistry, make sure your rates are competitive with the other ladies of similar quality in your area, and I would add a few small touches that let a guy know that he is a little special to you. Those don’t have to be big things, just remembering something he wrote in his introductory e-mail and mentioning it when you see him—so he knows you actually read it and remember HIM (the same thing works in the other direction as well). Discounts to repeat clients are rarely rejected, but also not required. And contrary to what many guys will say, a small complement about our shirt, or hair, etc., is not as unnoticed as we would have you believe—again, it shows that you actually noticed the PERSON standing there.

After that, if a guy doesn’t repeat, assume it is more about him than about what you didn’t do right—some guys like the variety above all.

Good luck. Originally Posted by Old-T

Old T, You are very Wise, that response was one of the most honest cut and dry responses i have yet to read. It possessed a non biased, truth flowing through it.

Comforting

This is an interesting topic to come up; we were just discussing whether we were ready to move on to this 'phase' in our hobbying. Right now we are pretty new, so we're in the 'sampling' phase, to see what we like, what makes us comfortable, etc. And also, of course, to taste the rainbow and all...

Now that we have more of a handle on that, we were thinking about doing more repeat visits, to further explore our experiences. I assume things can only get better and I think it will raise the level of the sessions if everyone has more of a feel of everyone's turn ons/offs and 'ticklish' spots.

Probable checklist:
-Intelligent and able to have a conversation - some similiar interests
-Proactive/adventurous BCD - willing to make suggestions and be playful
-Actually enjoys being with women -#1 requirement probably
-Able to laugh/good sense of humour
-Flirtatious and enthusiastic about BCD - everyone enjoys feeling wanted!
-Has access to their own private in-call
-Some level of text/emails/pms outside of sessions - we like this and do not have discreetness issues

List of things that are not as priority:
-Distance
-Specific availability times
-A specific look/body types (boobs would be ideal though...just sayin'...)

Very early in my start into the hobby I met a lady who remains one of my favorites. In fact, she is one of the key reasons I am here at all. We flirted by email a few times before meeting, and my anticipation level was off the charts when we finally got together. BCD she blew me away, but given my level of sexual naivety, that wasn't a big challenge. What she really did was get in my head. She made me feel like a special friend, and still does. She offered a lot of hobby guidance to a neophyte, and gained my trust. I see her regularly, and consistently but our visits are usually spaced out by a few months. When we get together, it is like two good friends catching up. She is unbelievably smart, so we have some great conversations. As a result, something will happen in my life that reminds me of her, or something will happen to her that reminds her of me. Text or email follows, which invariably leads to another encounter. When we are together, she makes me feel like there is not another person in the world she would rather be with. Though incredibly passionate, I would not describe our encounters as romantic. Rather, it feels like a close friendship, FWB, if you will. Unbridled lust, perhaps. Outside of our time together, she was willing to invest in a friendship, as was I.

I have a very different relationship with another favorite. Our relationship is very flirtacious, flattering, complimentary... we have become good friends. I see her far more frequently than anyone else in the hobby, usually at least monthly, sometimes more. We communicate frequently by text, probably every few days to a week. When we are together, chemistry is off the charts. This is very much the GFE/BFE encounter with a healthy recognition that we are playing in the hobby.

Beyond the initial chemistry that you noted you have had with several clients, what makes these ladies special is their willingness to get to know me, to invest a little of their valuable time into a relationship. In both cases, it has become a friendship. The time that they invest OTC is electronic for the most part, so it happens when it fits their schedule. There are times when our communication is almost instantaneous, and other times when someone's life puts a delay in the response, and that's fine by all.

A wise person once told me that it takes very little additional effort to be above average. So for those clients that you really want to be regulars, do just a little extra for them. If they are regular/ATF material, they will appreciate your effort and return. If not, let them go. As charismatic as you seem to be, I don't think it will take long to build a collection of regulars. And note, not once in here did I say you need to discount your rate. In fact, I don't believe I have ever had a conversation with either of my favorites about their rates.

Also none of you gentlemen have told me how often a week or month you see your ATF? Originally Posted by Mya Michelle

Mya,

I am curious as to how YOU define regular? Is it the same as ATF? How frequent must a return visitor be for you to consider him/her a regular? And if you have repeat visitors but they aren't frequent enough to be considered regulars, what classification would they be in?

I am, of course, just curious.

Like others have said, just making me feel special and not like I'm shelling out X amount of money to get laid. Chemistry is a plus, and honesty is a big plus.

Performance is also a plus. Not so much that she gets me off; I will, but I want her to participate and I love seeing a woman getting herself off just as much if not more. A woman who is vocal about what she likes. "No I like it when you do x instead of y" etc..

My experience with her, multiple times normally let me know if I want to keep seeing her or not.

I prefer to keep seeing one provider though honestly. I get to learn about her body and I have more fun because of said knowledge.