Newbie Nightmare

A guy has to work a little later than expected, maybe a crisis came up, or his boss asked him to handle something before leaving, or an unexpected conference call came in, who knows?

Remember that money doesn't grow on trees; most hobbyists have to work for it. It's not all trust fund money that finances this hobby. Originally Posted by trynagetlaid

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Yes, TGL.....things do happen. If he would have given his cell phone #....he could have contacted me sooner. THAT was part of the problem. Also.....I told him beforehand that my blackberry was having problems accessing eccie....and I could not communicate efficiently that way. HE KNEW....and would still not provide a number. I should have never even given him a chance. I won't do this again.

AND....yes, money does not grow on trees. It appears miraculously on the counter. Altho mostly by prediction. When a provider makes a prediction and COUNTS on it.....it needs to happen. When we spend OUR time and efforts making our prediction come true.....and nothing happens, it sucks.
For guys....a NCNS just means blue balls for a day or so. But they still have the money in their pocket......and it's not such a great loss.

Now go back and see how many Guys in ML scream about NCNS all the time..they rake the Gals over the coal and want their heads on a spit..But a gal posts in Coed about the guys doing it and its met with apathy..and told WOrse things can happen..where does that give any incentive for it to stop on both sides?? Originally Posted by Texasquest

If she was a) specific, and b) not sounding like "providers have all the control" and c) not just yelling at the air that "newbies are bad" it would have more impact, IMO.

Guys, "raking gals over the coals" is equally unhelpful if they don't name names and allow others to be warned.

There was no apathy. Apathy would imply not replying at all.

While no one here has endorsed the guy as in the right, you also assume you know the whole story, based on one side. Some of us find that foolish, and have been around long enough to know that is rare. You seem to think there "is no excuse for this behavior." It's bad behavior, but there are explanations. It's all a matter of perspective.

"where does that give any incentive for it to stop on both sides?"

My counter question to you is: "When will co-ed business complaints from either side cause a change in individual behavior?" They WON'T. Individuals are accountable, but "the board" is not. Even member handles aren't accountable, on occasion. Many hobbyists keep their board handle separate from their screening persona.

Ladies have their methods of communication and internal alerts about gents. Gents have theirs in reverse. This anonymous hobbyist may suffer some consequence from his behavior. Let's hope he learns from that. As Elysa points out, let's hope any newbie glued to his monitor at this thread learns that "ladies talk to one another." (I'm still convinced that if you don't have this level of common sense, you shouldn't even BE in the hobby.)

No one said stuff doesnt happen. But in all of your scenarios the gent should be able to sneak away 30 seconds and send a text BEFORE not AFTER the set time. DUUUH maybe the gent should take up Elk hunting instead or mYbe even buy a bass boat. But then again I guess he needs to consider if the Elk are gonna move or the fish are gonna bite on his schedule. Even if he has unexpected business. What about his money?? What about the providers money and time that was wasted?? I guess you are of the belief that the gents are worth more than the gals?? If not why aren't you in the least concerned about her losses?? You seem more worried that a newbie maY get his feelings hurt. And his feelings outweigh any needs of common courtesy. That's an awfully shallow mindset you have then. If he had had any respect for her time and effort he would have let her know BEFORE not after. But why bother? Cause guys like you will common here and defend his mistakes instead of showing him how the respectful way would have a better outcome for all. Your position makes the gals want to help a newbie OUT even less. For if they put out all the effort and time and maybe even cash Nd get burned what recourse do they have but to blast them on back channels. They come here and ask for the vets to offer some advice and show the newbie the error of his ways. All that happens is to CRY NO FOUL since it could have been worse.

If the guy had references one could speak with to verify he is a gentleman and does not make it a habit to do this regularly for nefarious reasons then it is something much more easily over looked. When we are a lone female meeting someone we have never met who says he is completely new there is a possibility he is not and has no references for a reason. LE is not the only concern. Ending up with special bracelets is likely the safest trouble to worry about. We have things to be cautious about that actual gentlemen don't realize and should't need to.

Think about it.. A new guy who is trying to meet a petite female as hot as she looks for the first time. He is given the opportunity to meet with no reference history at all. He tells her you won't be disappointed and then all follow through stops. My guess is it stopped right after she gave him an address. She heads over thinking he is on his way soon, but he is not and does not give her any call or text after 2 hours of constant contact in which work was no problem at all for.

It could be nothing, but either way I would not be willing to find out the hard way I am wrong at the prospect of a few bills. It doesn't hurt any to wait for him to get a reference to ease worries and anxiety. Not all money is good money. Safety should always come before anything else.

Frankly do you really want to reason or excuse your way into a ladies place after working her up enough to be upset or unable to relax fully. Do you think talking to her about how much work it took to earn the money(that should not be discussed in the first place) will be the best way to facilitate a situation that makes you feel it was well spent??

Special disclaimer: I also realize this may not be the full story. To clarify, all my comments on this particular post I made are based on the information given. Speaking in terms more figurative than literal based on the lack of care for both sides and for every last detail, this would likely be my reaction.

"special bracelets is likely the safest trouble to worry about. We have things to be cautious about that actual gentlemen don't realize and should't need to."

"It could be nothing, but either way I would not be willing to find out the hard way"
"Not all money is good money. Safety should always come before anything else." Originally Posted by Elysa Scott

WELL SAID Elysa. In fact....I was concerned about these issues. It was MY BAD to take the risk. Perhaps I was better off not meeting the bloak in the first place.

I will say....that through our PMs.....I indicated to him why it is that I ask so many quesitons during my personal screening process. We gals HAVE MUCH to consider, MUCH to risk and MUCH to endure. Newbies just don't get that. He carefully obliged and answered most of my questions.....but never quite fully. This was a warning sign that I sloughed off.
Again.....BAD, BAD....me.

Shall I announce this guys handle? I'm itching to do so.

Also....HOW DOES A NEWBIE GET STARTED? Well....don't screw up your first appointment. That's for sure !!!

xxoo
Torre

Sigh...

I guess you are of the belief that the gents are worth more than the gals??

Where did you read that? Where, EXACTLY, did I say that anyone's time is worth more than another? I think they are equal. I've even said so twice now.

If not why aren't you in the least concerned about her losses?? You seem more worried that a newbie maY get his feelings hurt. And his feelings outweigh any needs of common courtesy. That's an awfully shallow mindset you have then.

You seem to be convinced that this is about "feelings." It's not. It's about BUSINESS, and the poor way it was conducted in this case. I'm not emotional about this. I am barely concerned about a single time-wasting indecent, because they happen dozens of times a week. You seem to think this is a "nightmare" like the OP. I think it's a sad fact that I wish would be less, but I know it won't.

If he had had any respect for her time and effort he would have let her know BEFORE not after. But why bother?

Funny..we keep saying the same thing, you just want to rant about it.

Cause guys like you will common here and defend his mistakes instead of showing him how the respectful way would have a better outcome for all.

You still have yet to point out where I "defend his mistakes." You REALLY want to be the moral high ground, the provider white knight who cares about feelings and such. "Guys like me" see more than just feelings. This is a business transaction gone wrong, and when you make it about "feelings" you only make it worse.

Your position makes the gals want to help a newbie OUT even less.

No...it shouldn't. Newbies should learn the ropes. They need to learn the lessons and read and be patient. (No matter how few of them are) Girls that aren't willing to take the risks and time that newbies require: SHOULDN'T SEE NEWBIES. Torre has pointed out how she didn't listen to her instincts and it cost her. Who's to blame there? The guy was a shit, but she also didn't read the stuation, and she said as much. Wonder why? Could it have been the lure of $?

For if they put out all the effort and time and maybe even cash Nd get burned what recourse do they have but to blast them on back channels. They come here and ask for the vets to offer some advice and show the newbie the error of his ways.

That's the thing. She didn't ask anyone to provide advice. She ranted about newbies in general, and every guy who posted basically posted, "Sorry. He's a scumbag. Of course I would never do that to you. Oh, and you are hot. Please like me more so I can see you." As far as "newbie advice," this thread is pretty devoid of it.

All that happens is to CRY NO FOUL since it could have been worse. Originally Posted by Texasquest

Shall I announce this guys handle? I'm itching to do so. Originally Posted by Torre Tames

Sure.. for the ladies in the area that would make sense for sharing at. Please, not here! It only perpetuates the dramedy that co-ed has become. Take it to the ladies. You know what I mean. It does not service anyone to try to turn this into a witch hunt because you were no showed. The male side of the board has no real use for a public alert the same as the women have no use for the NCNS moved to co-ed instead of some other area. Fluid exchange of information is productive to everyone. A public bitching doesn't lend any credence to your situation.

Be the change you want to see on Eccie. You want this to be about newbies learning then make it a point to teach with positive intent. Chastising the next for the actions of the last is not nice. Teasing us with thread topics that could really be useful as a veiled attempt for public ridicule and revenge is also not nice. Taking our way to help each other stay safe and using it as a form of punishment trivializes our best way to help our self and each other. It dilutes the perception of validity.

For guys....a NCNS just means blue balls for a day or so. But they still have the money in their pocket......and it's not such a great loss. Originally Posted by Torre Tames

It is true. However you seem to underestimate the needs and power of junior. Also one could say why are you in a position where one cancellation is make or break for you ijs.

"where does that give any incentive for it to stop on both sides?"
As long as people have lives NCNS will always happen

Ladies have their methods of communication and internal alerts about gents. Gents have theirs in reverse. This anonymous hobbyist may suffer some consequence from his behavior. Let's hope he learns from that. As Elysa points out, let's hope any newbie glued to his monitor at this thread learns that "ladies talk to one another." (I'm still convinced that if you don't have this level of common sense, you shouldn't even BE in the hobby.)
I have no doubt the newbie will find another provider who will see him regardless Originally Posted by Duke of G

Ms Tames I am not trying to be callous or cold towards but I do think to call this situation a nightmare is a far stretch. If the end result is just your time wasted consider yourself lucky. There are real nightmares that have happened btn providers and newbies ijs. In addition, your spidey senses did warn you but you persisted hugs and kisses

Smokin fo sho. And close to my age. Amazing. I need to get to Dallas.

Well Mr Duke. Seems your getting a lil testy since my last post was actually directed to TRYNAGETLAID bit obviously it hit close to home for you to react as such. Or is it your his WK. I assume it's ok to call posters who don't agree with you a WK since most of your responses are filled with just that. But since you asked. I never said you said the gents are more valuable than the girls. Once again that was directed to someone else but you obviously took offense. Then you state your not concerned about a sunless time wasting event. Cause they happens dozens of times a week. My point is if they weren't brushed off as no big deal maybe the number of times it happens would dramatically drop. But back to the Dam analogy you let em go "cause there ate worse things that can happen" only perpetuates the prob. Then you get callousesd to NCNS that soon bait and switch will become NP BIG DEAL. Geez I hope not. Maybe if more people would stand up and Voice their disdain for the practice it would be reduced to very little. I'm not naive enough to think it will ever go away completely. But to skiff it off as no biggie by the gents and yes even the Mods. Then rant and rave about it happening to the guys under the cloak of the ML Is counter productive.

Torre,
I am sorry it happened, things come up but the courtesy of a call, message, email would have been proper etiquette. Too many people have become insensitive to how their actions or in this case, inaction, affect not only you, but others trying to get into the Hobby…

BTW – smoking hot body, I can tell you take a great deal of pride in yourself and what you do.
Mike

Bla bla bla. You still look hot. When I get back from my trip I may have some time to hook up with you and sample that bod. I have only one review but I am very UTR. :-P

Thanks Rango....check your pms...;-)

Well hey.....I was just trying to be creative when I came up with the Thread Title.
I guess I should have called it NEWBIE NUISANCE.
Perhaps the word Nightmare was a bit much.

Anyways....it was somewhat of a nightmare when the moment of truth came around.

Infoshare would be the perfect place for this. Not very profitable, since no WK's can see it and therefore no business from this, but if it was truly a "nightmare", I think you'd want the ladies to save their time on this guy. Coed is a joke, if you really wanted to serve us (providers) a valuable warning.

I don't see the value in posting his handle in coed, but you've been around long enough to do what you think is best.

Apparently these threads work for you. I'm just saying, we have ladies areas for this and I doubt it would have turned into a pissing match between random hobbyists who are bitter towards mods,each other, etc. It could have been valuable info. Now, notsomuch. Now it's just a bunch of back and forth over nothing.

For what it's worth, I've had nothing but great experiences with newbies, so generalizations are sort of unfair. Once again: Infoshare.