First off, let me say I understand how difficult this is...I have first hand experience and know how challenging it can be, particularly at first. So I wish you strength and good luck.
LOVE
Love is a beautiful thing and when it works it is life changing. In my opinion, when you meet someone who positively affects ALL of your senses (not just your little head) then it is worth a potentially rocky ride in order to reap the rewards. This is true with a provider just like it is with someone you meet who lives 50 miles from you, or someone whose schedule doesnt currently work well with yours, or who currently has challenges in her life. In all cases, the prospect of true love is worth every challenge to get there. The best things in life are worth working for and when you get them, they are that much more amazing because of how challenging it was to arrive at the desired destination.
The ladies in this business are just that...ladies, with emotions and love to give. They deserve our willingness to think of them as such, not just as a pleasant answer to our sexual tension problems. They all have their stories as to why they are in the business, and many have different perspectives on what would cause them to leave the business. I believe that for some, finding true love would be one such reason. Ask yourself this question...if you had a job at a company that paid amazingly, but that perhaps wasnt all roses as far as what you had to do in order to keep the pay check coming...wouldnt you consider taking another job that paid less in order to be with the one that makes you happy? I would...love and happiness is priceless.
Granted there are probably many women in this business who for one reason or another find it difficult to imagine any guy ever being worth leaving the business, especially a hobbyist....but equally I imagine there are some who would do it for the RIGHT one. The issue is that statistically speaking, it is much more likely that they wont. And it will likely take some time for both of you to know what you really want.
BUT IS IT (OR COULD IT BE) LOVE...MUTUAL LOVE
This is a challenging question. Few of us put the cart before the horse in our non-hobbying dating realtionships...and enjoy sexual ecstasy together before going through at least some of the normal steps of courting. So, with a provider we enjoy sexual fulfillment before we enjoy other forms of emotional fulfillment. It is easy to confuse our feelings when we click sexually with a provider. However, I know from experience that love can develop. The question for you on this needs to be, what do you normally need to see, feel, and experience with a woman before you feel love. Have you been able to investigate these with this provider? If not, you need to create the opportunity to do so. This means, you need to "date" her, not just have sessions with her. If she is not willing to have a date with you, she obviously does not share your feelings or is unwilling to go there. Go on a date (without sex). Go on several. Do you still feel the same...do you now feel even better? Does she? Find out the answers to both questions!!
THE ROCKY ROAD
There are many reasons why the ODDS are against you on this kind of relationship. Without going through them all, suffice it to say there are MANY. So before spending even another minute on this, ask your self this...are you the kind of guy who is willing to deal with multiple challenges in a relationship in order to reap the rewards it could ultimately provide? Do you have the capacity, willingness, and patience for this. If not or you are unsure...be very careful!!
Some of the possible issues on your rocky road are below...but there are more
- Possible jealousy...you of her other clients until she one days decides to quit (or forever if she does not)
- Possible jealousy she might have that you see or have seen other providers
- Possible jealousy you may have for a long time when you think about all the guys she has been with
- That nagging question in the back of your mind (if she one day retires)...does she miss anything she used to get in the bedroom given she shared it with so many partners...are you going to be enough (yes we are all perfect studs in the bedroom and dont ever need to worry about this one!!!) lol
- Loss of income if she retires...now where will it come from
- Your concern that one day when you are together you have financial difficulty and she chooses to return to the business to resolve the issue...most likely you will not like this..even the suggestion of it.
- What will you do the day you are in a store together and one of her clients or past clients recognizes her...will you handle it well
- Possible resentment she may feel towards you if she gives up her lucrative job for you and you cannot alone or together "replace" that souce of income
- Possible resentment you might feel towards her if you convince her you can help her replace this source of income if she quits, and you start to realize you are giving her a boat load of money (hey its your fault if you agree to)
- Possible trust issues you may have with each other that maybe she is secretly still seeing some or all clients after she "quits"....and her with you that you are still seeing some or all of your favorite providers
- and many more... once you become "monogamous"
THE BOTTOM LINE
Hey, i feel for you...this is tough. We all know there are some truly wonderful women in this business who deserve our adoration and respect as women. And it doesn't hurt that they are also beautiful and sexy. But remember this...you could go broke, get very frustrated, have your feelings hurt badly, or hurt hers badly. But, you could end up very happy with someone you love (it does happen). Unfortunately the odds are WAY WAY against you. So, do you feel lucky?
PM me, I am happy to share many more details, perspectives, and advice.
I would imagine it's probably a nice thing to be able to be yourself, your complete self with someone. Someone with whom you don't need to hide your provider side from nor do you need to hide your personal side from.