Serious question for the ladies ...

A few more quick thoughts before I get back to the grind:

Last year about this time, I was catching up with someone I"d seen a few years previously. Some of the things I mentioned previously came up in that conversation At some point, she dropped a pearl of wisdom on me that I wish more people -- the ladies, the guys seeking a substitute for intimacy and the guys for whom any hole will do -- would realize: "Every relationship is different." I an enjoy spending time with Provider A and Provider B and Provider C, etc., and regard each of them as special, and I shouldn't have to feel guilty about it, and none of them should feel jealous of the other. (I'm speaking about emotions, not the money-going-somewhere else issues.)

We live in an era of disposable relationships. I've left jobs where I'd been pretty close to some people I've never heard from again. I had a group of guys in college that I went through a lot with -- same thing. Former neighbors, too. Of course this applies to the hobby, too. But it can be rough when one of you decides to end the business relationship, there was some element of "clicking" involved, and either of you continues to read on ECCIE about what the other is doing. I told a former ATF a few times a couple of years ago that when our relationship ended, the hole in my heart would be much larger than the hole in hers. I didn't consider the possibility that there would be no hole in hers, but that's the way it ended.

Lastly, I mentioned this in a post a couple of months ago. For some of us, while we acknowledge the circumstances under which we meet a provider and the nature of the hobby/business, can't help but feel a little discomfited when we find someone whose company we enjoy, and the best thing we can do for her is tell all our friends (and a whole bunch of strangers) to go fuck her. Shrug That's the way it is, and no amount of berating by the any-hole-will-do guys is going to change that.

Your last paragraph nailed it!!!

I think the only way I can work this out is to distance myself from her, but damn! .... she is, by far, the best experience - both physically and emotionally that I have had in years!

For the ladies who read this, I hope you take away that some of us guys do go beyond the respect that a lady deserves to the point that we care about you as a living, breathing person.

Thanks, SL.

But knowing that many of the horn dogs who see ladies have absolutely no respect for them other than as a piece of meat, I guess the "hurt" comes from feeling for her as some of these guys do nothing more than use her for their own enjoyment. Originally Posted by Mesquitor

I agree with you on this point... so to some extent reading a piece of meat review on someone I saw and liked would leave me feeling bad for the provider.

I had a BP girl the other day say she liked to have her nipples pinched and to be choked. She asked me to do that... I can't, I just cannot be like that...it killed my wood so fast it was as if my mother walked into the room! How some guys can enjoy that even if their partner does too, I just cannot understand or fathom.

I agree 100%. There are many reviews that I start to read but stop because of the apparent view towards women.

While I appreciate the response on this subject, I think most responders missed the point. Sir Lancehernot, I think you did get it and I appreciate your input.

I'm not talking about jealousy or ownership here. I think that two people who see each other a lot in this hobby Can "click" with one another and develop some degree of affection for each other - doesn't have to be love. It may only be at level 1 of a 10 point scale.

But knowing that many of the horn dogs who see ladies have absolutely no respect for them other than as a piece of meat, I guess the "hurt" comes from feeling for her as some of these guys do nothing more than use her for their own enjoyment. I would think that some of the ladies would appreciate the fact that some of us are respectful in how we feel about and treat the ladies..

I expect to get another round of flames but that's ok, it doesn't change how I do business. Originally Posted by Mesquitor

Mesquitor I'm not going to give you no flame for your opinion in your post, I can respect anyone's opinion. We will just have to agree to disagree, but please explain to me how paying a provider for her time and services, but yet we are using her go together??

The last time I check just like with a job, being paid for your time and services and being USED!! don't go together. It's actually impossible if you ask me, especially in the sex work industry. The women set their price for you to meet them, walk in their incall etc, so I'm trying to understand how then any provider can remotely feel used after the appointment is over, if I paid her the donation that she requested for her time. WTF!!!!

Good points, but i tend to go beyond the sex act and at least become "friends" with the ladies I see. I know if one that I help out some in the RW because we just click. The only reason she's in this business is because of bad relationships in the past and she is in need of a way to make a decent living. She hates the way horn dogs treat her, sometimes to the point of degradation but she puts up with it cause she has bills. Unfortunately it's very easy to get trapped in this career path and can't get out. Knowing how she feels, it does bother me (hurting for her ... not jealousy) to know what's happening to her.

This is the nature of the beast in this dark world, but I will never become so calloused that I don't have concern for the ladies who need it.

Good points, but i tend to go beyond the sex act and at least become "friends" with the ladies I see. I know if one that I help out some in the RW because we just click. The only reason she's in this business is because of bad relationships in the past and she is in need of a way to make a decent living. She hates the way horn dogs treat her, sometimes to the point of degradation but she puts up with it cause she has bills. Unfortunately it's very easy to get trapped in this career path and can't get out. Knowing how she feels, it does bother me (hurting for her ... not jealousy) to know what's happening to her.

This is the nature of the beast in this dark world, but I will never become so calloused that I don't have concern for the ladies who need it. Originally Posted by Mesquitor

Some might consider that accidental patronizing.

Good points, but i tend to go beyond the sex act and at least become "friends" with the ladies I see. I know if one that I help out some in the RW because we just click. The only reason she's in this business is because of bad relationships in the past and she is in need of a way to make a decent living. She hates the way horn dogs treat her, sometimes to the point of degradation but she puts up with it cause she has bills. Unfortunately it's very easy to get trapped in this career path and can't get out. Knowing how she feels, it does bother me (hurting for her ... not jealousy) to know what's happening to her.

This is the nature of the beast in this dark world, but I will never become so calloused that I don't have concern for the ladies who need it. Originally Posted by Mesquitor

Ok I respect that buddy, but yes that's where our thinking separate. I don't become friends, lovers outside of the hobby etc. Helping them with RW problems is just not something I will ever do or even consider. It's already a fine line between the hobby and RW any way, so I just make sure that I don't cross the lines and mix the two worlds.

If it makes you happy or any other hobbyist happy to do that for the providers you see, then by all means enjoy yourself man and have fun. It may also just be a huge age gap on the differences of what some guys will do or don't in the hobby. I'm sure that if I was 55 or older that it's possible I may feel the way you do, and decide I will be do other things for a provider other than just her donation. Where I am right now in life I'm just not that type of guy, and it's just impossible for me to think that way. I can understand how you and other hobbyist can see this the way you do and I can respect that.

I appreciate your views. And I'm impressed that we are even having this conversation as compared to several of the comments at the beginning of this thread. I don't know that I'll change, but being in my 60's, I'm definitely old enough to know what I'm getting myself into. Thanks for your outlook and happy hobbying!

Exactly I like your first post, but I was going to say that may be true in the RW relationships, but we are speaking on someone falling deep and being jealous in the hobby game. That's only going to lead to a disaster in the long run.

Let's say for example that a provider has a client that is extremely hot and very attractive and he always dress nice and smell good. He can really really lay the D and she find her self having some different kind of feelings for him, she text him out the blue, ask what he is doing , what's for dinner, inviting him to her child sports games, start viewing who else he has seen, and then find herself getting upset about it. Well that would be a nightmare
coming fast like a freight train. Lol

My advice to her will be to find away to stop seeing him, quick, fast, and in a hurry. It's just a matter of time before those feelings begin to build up, and then out the blue she just snap one day when he comes and visit her again. This is why being jealous and catching real feelings in the hobby is never fucking good ever. The same scenario also applies to a hobbyist being jealousy, it's never good.

That's a big NO NO right there Originally Posted by suiram77

I completely agree. I seriously advise all girls and/or clients just to cut ties if these types of things occur.. Sometimes the fact that this is a 'fantasy' is what is too often forgotten. This was not meant to be reality right? NSA and all that jazz! Enjoy the moments...It's those moments we remember fondly!

My thoughts anyway!

XoXo,
Bridgette

I appreciate your views. And I'm impressed that we are even having this conversation as compared to several of the comments at the beginning of this thread. I don't know that I'll change, but being in my 60's, I'm definitely old enough to know what I'm getting myself into. Thanks for your outlook and happy hobbying! Originally Posted by Mesquitor

Absolutely buddy, like I said I can respect most ppl vews and opinions, because I understand that we all not going to think the same. I can see how alot of things i say can sound really harsh and cold, but at the end of the day its the truth, it's my truth.

I never once said I didn't enjoy the hobby and the providers I have seen and will see, and I have never mistreated any of them in a session ever. I just don't mix this fantasy and my R W life shit together. I'm always all business when it comes to this side of the fun. Happy hobbying to you buddy, enjoy yourself.

I completely agree. I seriously advise all girls and/or clients just to cut ties if these types of things occur.. Sometimes the fact that this is a 'fantasy' is what is too often forgotten. This was not meant to be reality right? NSA and all that jazz! Enjoy the moments...It's those moments we remember fondly!

My thoughts anyway!

XoXo,
Bridgette Originally Posted by Virtuoso Companions

It's the only way to do it in my view, but appreciate your comments

I appreciate your views. And I'm impressed that we are even having this conversation as compared to several of the comments at the beginning of this thread. I don't know that I'll change, but being in my 60's, I'm definitely old enough to know what I'm getting myself into. Thanks for your outlook and happy hobbying! Originally Posted by Mesquitor

You seem very nice, almost too nice for this place. The girls you mentioned making mistakes often repeat those mistakes and that's why they're in the situation they're in. You want to be nice but it's not a long line to cross for a girl to be scam once she's selling her body to strangers. Don't know that I've ever seen a good ending to a Captain Save-A-Ho relationship.

I appreciate your views. And I'm impressed that we are even having this conversation as compared to several of the comments at the beginning of this thread. I don't know that I'll change, but being in my 60's, I'm definitely old enough to know what I'm getting myself into. Thanks for your outlook and happy hobbying! Originally Posted by Mesquitor

You seem very nice, almost too nice for this place. The girls you mentioned making mistakes often repeat those mistakes and that's why they're in the situation they're in. You want to be nice but it's not a long line to cross for a girl to scam once she's selling her body to strangers. Don't know that I've ever seen a good ending to a Captain Save-A-Ho relationship.

Quite the opposite actually. Firstly, I do a pretty good job at not being a lurker. But if I do happen to stumble across a new review my favorite wrote, I get a little hot in the best possible way. He has a taste for whip-smart companions, some of whom I also have heaux crushes on.

Ladies, does this ever happen to you. Do you ever see your favorite doing a review on another lady and it hurts a little?