Your Thoughts on a Hobbyist/Provider Dating?

Never ever. Originally Posted by Brooke Wild

Good idea

I was recently talking to a friend and the question of a hobbyist dating a provider came up and we went on and on debating our opinions. We questioned if this could be something genuine and true or even if this would work. Imagine 2 scenaries: If they had met before for a session & also if they had not met BCD before?

Id like your opinions on a provider and hobbyist dating each other? Do you think it can be a successful relationship or is it a false illusion of a perfect romance?

Have you tried this personally or even gave thought to it?

Thanks for your response! Originally Posted by Jaleh

Hi Jaleh, I have never tried but I think if two people are right for each other it doesn't matter where they meet and they can overcome any obstacle if they are both willing. It may or may not mean giving up hobbying or giving up being a provider. I suspect that would be different for each couple. I think for it to work you would need to become friends. Me personally I would rather have a good friend over a lover any day. If you can find both with a person then I think you are on the road for a successful relationship.

You won't catch me doing it - not once, I tell you! Originally Posted by TexasGator

What about two, three, or four times....

Jaleh the key word he used was free! Because he is having feelings of Love he no longer wants to pay you. Sometimes guys use that as a ploy to get out of the compensating part of it(i've been there). Ive had clients ask to date me and immediately input a statement in there about liking for more than bcd,but also saying they can't afford to pay everytime they see me,lol. Originally Posted by caramelqtee mila

Damn...I need a new plan then



My .02...Unless BOTH of you have a Swingers mentality, don't even think about it!

Hey baby that was your plan?? You should've let me know a freebie thats all you wanted next time sexylolol!!!! J/K before someone gets pissed at me

ALL relationships are fraught with drama and issues - the Hobby probably more than others.

And the majority of relationships FAIL - for a zillion reasons.


AND like Guilty Pleasures stated Providers are women also - it is not all fantasy, great sex, perfectly accommodating/understanding partners.

Not only is it difficult for most guys to think about his GF doing what is written in reviews - think about the days where she has had XXX sessions and is too tired or plain not in the mood for YOU!!!!! (no different from Civilian Women - except you will be thinking, damn she fucked everyone else.....why not me!)

And yea a lot of women get very jealous if you keep hobbying - the theory being its her JOB, and you are off playing around????

If you are serious, start slowly with a lot of up-front communications/boundaries/ etc.

Good luck either way. Originally Posted by CivilBarrister

So true CB! Yes, if your a working gal and your in a relationship it is hard to keep up with the intimacy when you are plain worn out from your day. Takes a very understanding patient man to realize this. In my opinion it is not just the ladies in the sex industry that we should generalize as having "baggage issues". I have met way too many women in the "civie" world that have just as many issues if not more than some of the providers I have met in real life. So relationships can fail just as badly dating a woman out of the hobby.

I for one was not looking to be taken care of when I hooked up with my former partner. I think if your looking to be taken care of, then that is kind of an issue in itself. I think it is always better to stand on your own two feet and not expect your "mate" to hold you up financially. I hung up my heels for awhile, true.. but my relationship ended out of other reasons. He had many issues himself. The issues are not just one sided on the gals side.

But it is true that a man or woman has to decide if they can handle what you do for a living, (and all the partners you have had) and if the woman can handle that the guy may still want to hobby. I never say never to a relationship if I find the right person at the right time. Not all of us gals will be doing this forever, this is after all a short lived career for most.

I asked a hobbyist out, we never had BCD, so that was refreshing and I love surprises, he seemed open to going out.....He was flattered I even asked. He is not one of those busy hobbyist. He lurks, I happen to be at the right place at the right time.

Our date never happen, must be for a reason, that was my first and last time attempting to ask a hobbyist out. I'll stick to regulars dudes....on second thought, i'll rather not even date while im providing. Too much drama, too much explaining and some men do not like the truth.

Him: Was he better than me?
Me: Hell yea!


Who needs all that unnecessary explaining and talking. And I am not a patience person when it comes to relationships I enjoy peace and quietness.

Jaleh the key word he used was free! Because he is having feelings of Love he no longer wants to pay you. Sometimes guys use that as a ploy to get out of the compensating part of it(i've been there). Ive had clients ask to date me and immediately input a statement in there about liking for more than bcd,but also saying they can't afford to pay everytime they see me,lol. However i do know a lady who met her now husband doing this and they have been married 5 years now and very happily I might add. The thing is she is not a provider anymore and he is a cardiologist who took very good care of her while she was in school prior to their marriage. They occasionally swing too so for them it worked out great! All the guys i've ever heard try say it was a no go. if you are seeing someone you have feelings for and he does too then be open,honest and see for yourself how it goes. Only you know what works for you!xoxo Originally Posted by caramelqtee mila

Love...Freebies??...What planet are these folks from, ain't nothing free...as a matter of fact i gonna start requesting a little white envelope in return soon...LMAO!!!

fake love and get a freebies. I should have thought of that plan. damn....

by the way great body.

Now, I am having second thoughts about asking OHW on a real date.

Dating/living with a provider can work, but the pressure is on the guy. In most cases, it is the guy's jealousy that gets is the way. The mind can be a dangerous thing. That's why horror movies are so thrilling, it's the imagination that gets you. When you go behind the scenes and see how it's made, it's no big deal, actually kind of funny. But guys can let their minds run amok. If the guy can just distance himself from work and personal it can work. Not all guys can, we're such shallow people aren't we?? Just remember there's a big difference between "Franchette LaMour" and Mary Smith. Mary gets up and goes to work every day, and you Fred SHOULD get up and go to work every day. After hours, it becomes Mary and Fred time. Most relationships in the hobby won't last, but as has been pointed out, most marriages/relationships don't work out. The closest comparison I would point out is anyone in the public/entertainment world have personal problems. I'm sure Bruce Willis flipped out watching Demi Moore kiss a guy in a movie. Tommy Lee got upset at Pam's movies. If those guys can't get over their partner KISSING a guy and bringing home millions of dollars, look how hard civilian guys have being understanding about our ladies having sex for a couple of hundred dollars. It's just a job, but the mind takes over and it becomes a problem for the guy. So, guys, if you have the SMALLEST piece of jealousy in your mind/heart, don't use this hobby as a dating service. Do yourself and the ladies a favor and use it as a hobby, not a dating pool. Both you and the lady will live happily ever after.
Billy
The Wildflower Group

I'm just lookin' fer a rich widow ...

Now, I am having second thoughts about asking OHW on a real date. Originally Posted by dearhunter

DH. Really? Seriously? This is all it took to talk you outta me? Well obviously you did'nt want it too bad. Sorry 'bout your bad luck!

Back on topic:

You can't help who you love. Period. That being said, I've worked in SC's all my adult life and seen all kinds of "couples". But to be fair 99% of the men were abusive, controlling, mean money hungry buttholes. The other 1% were eaten up with jealousy, suspicion, and paranoia. And NO ONE was ever happy. However, if you're just talking about dating, dinner, dancing a movie etc. Then whats the harm? You never know.
Would'nt it be a shame to possibly miss the love of your life 'cause you did'nt look into it?

(like Deerhunter just did? LOL)

You can't help who you love. Period. That being said, I've worked in SC's all my adult life and seen all kinds of "couples". But to be fair 99% of the men were abusive, controlling, mean money hungry buttholes. The other 1% were eaten up with jealousy, suspicion, and paranoia. And NO ONE was ever happy. However, if you're just talking about dating, dinner, dancing a movie etc. Then whats the harm? You never know.
Would'nt it be a shame to possibly miss the love of your life 'cause you did'nt look into it?

(like Deerhunter just did? LOL) Originally Posted by onehitwonder

Ok........I'm back in..........."dating, dinner, dancing a movie" is code for sex..........right.

I think most men fantasize about dating the provider and many providers would love the comfort of having a "stable" relationship where she can discuss all aspects of her work in a relaxed setting. Jealousy, money etc make it almost impossible as was discussed. I think if the guy is very submissive type, it can work but takes a dominant provider where both have their psychological and other relationship needs met. It is a special type of symbiotic relationship. If the provider is submissive to the man, that doesnt seem to work here.

Ok........I'm back in..........."dating, dinner, dancing a movie" is code for sex..........right. Originally Posted by dearhunter

Back in? Really? Grrr......

You're killin' me DH.

Seei f you can break this code,???

See I was right. You can't help who you lub..............

Oh and btw DH, hows that broken tooth? (I cracked myself up with that one!)