Expectations of your date?? (Male & female)

I will agree completely with you that LOOKING for anything personal from a session is foolish.

I will agree that your choice not to go to dinner or kiss is your choice and if that works for you, great.

But to say finding a personal connection or real intimacy doesn't actually happen at times is seriously incorrect. There are several ladies with whom I have experienced it (tough never while looking fr it from either side). I also know some ladies whose sessions became a long lasting happy marriage.

Why is is to hard for people NOT to go from "it has never happened to me" and generalize to "it can't happen!"? Originally Posted by Old-T

Very well stated Old-T.....real relationships do and can form within the hobby and so can real friendships. These real friendships that go beyond pure sexual enjoyment are what allow me to enjoy the hobby so much!!!

I expect her to chew her food with her mouth closed! just kidding..

This type of arrengement (date) doesn't work for me unless the time is off the clock. There is no way in hell I can in good conscience pay someone to eat a meal, go to a concert, or whatever with me. It would make me feel terrible about myself.

simpleton, I love the way you joke around...
my kind of man.

I expect her to chew her food with her mouth closed! just kidding..

This type of arrengement (date) doesn't work for me unless the time is off the clock. There is no way in hell I can in good conscience pay someone to eat a meal, go to a concert, or whatever with me. It would make me feel terrible about myself. Originally Posted by simpleton

No problem with that. It isn't for everyone, and even then it isn't with everyone.

I'm glad there are guys out there that don't kiss a provider. That allows for the antiseptic providers that are afraid to touch a guys mouth to make some money.

My expectation with a provider is that we seduce each other, starting with mutual exploration and LFK, leading to DFK. In my profile on P411, I make it clear that if a provider is not into GFE to please not set an appointment.

As for dinner and connections. I've made some nice pleasant bonds with some providers and taken a couple out to eat - off the clock. I make my donations for BCD activities, but I do look for a certain amount of bonding - mostly that we are compatible. If you're not compatible with a provider, how can the session be any good? And compatibility requires a certain amount of bonding - even if it's only for the duration of the session.

There are some providers I really enjoy talking to and others who I don't share but a few words, mostly about sex. The ones I enjoy the most would be the ones I can chat with over a meal or whatever - but it's mostly about being friends - but there is no mistaking what the basis of our relationship is!

No one is speaking of *looking for anything personal* within this this adult lifestyle, that you're referring to.
Folks who have common sense between their ears, know the boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. (unless those two individuals choose to do so). And thus it's no one's place to state whether or not it's wrong that they did, just because they met in this adult hobby.

NOW, just because both men & women are in this adult lifestyle, doesn't mean all women are cold heart'ed & putting on a *fantasy show*
Nor does it mean that men can't desire a *connection* with a woman/women that allows him to truly enjoy himself beyond the fucking.

There are many genuine women in this adult hobby world who truly do adore men & enjoy spending time with them beyond the fucking.
Does it mean they're putting on a *fantasy show* hell no.
A smart man can & will pick up on that real quick!!!

And there are men who desire more of a *connection* with a woman than just releasing their sexual frustration and leaving.
That doesn't in any way, mean that those men are looking for something *personal*. There's a difference.

And FYI:
Some (not all) men find more of what they desire, in the women they've met in this adult lifestyle, more so than they have in women that they've met or tried to meet in the civi world.
Because some (not all) women in this adult lifestyle, have a bit of an understanding of what men desire & and they don't judge them for it.
And in turn they allow men to enjoy being themselves.
Not something, that most civi women allow. Due to the judgmental stigma of mens sexuality.

If you looking for anything personal from a session with a provider your just fooling yourself. They are in the fantasy business. It's ok we all like that but get your real shit outside the hobby. I go to dinner with a real date. I only kiss with a real date. Now don't get me wrong ladies I love most of you. I just hate for guys to try to get real connection out of a paid relationship. It ain't happening. IJS Originally Posted by burkalini

No one is speaking of *looking for anything personal* within this this adult lifestyle, that you're referring to.
Folks who have common sense between their ears, know the boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. (unless those two individuals choose to do so). And thus it's no one's place to state whether or not it's wrong that they did, just because they met in this adult hobby.

NOW, just because both men & women are in this adult lifestyle, doesn't mean all women are cold heart'ed & putting on a *fantasy show*
Nor does it mean that men can't desire a *connection* with a woman/women that allows him to truly enjoy himself beyond the fucking.

There are many genuine women in this adult hobby world who truly do adore men & enjoy spending time with them beyond the fucking.
Does it mean they're putting on a *fantasy show* hell no.
A smart man can & will pick up on that real quick!!!

And there are men who desire more of a *connection* with a woman than just releasing their sexual frustration and leaving.
That doesn't in any way, mean that those men are looking for something *personal*. There's a difference.

And FYI:
Some (not all) men find more of what they desire, in the women they've met in this adult lifestyle, more so than they have in women that they've met or tried to meet in the civi world.
Because some (not all) women in this adult lifestyle, have a bit of an understanding of what men desire & and they don't judge them for it.
And in turn they allow men to enjoy being themselves.
Not something, that most civi women allow. Due to the judgmental stigma of mens sexuality. Originally Posted by Wicked Milf

Wicked MILF.......you're SPOT ON!!!!!! Couldn't have said it better myself! See, it's women like you who make this lifestyle worth trying/living/doing. Thank God you realize that most, if not damn near all civil women, don't get it the way you and hopefully several more women on here do!
Well written sunshine!

No one is speaking of *looking for anything personal* within this this adult lifestyle, that you're referring to.
Folks who have common sense between their ears, know the boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. (unless those two individuals choose to do so). And thus it's no one's place to state whether or not it's wrong that they did, just because they met in this adult hobby.

NOW, just because both men & women are in this adult lifestyle, doesn't mean all women are cold heart'ed & putting on a *fantasy show*
Nor does it mean that men can't desire a *connection* with a woman/women that allows him to truly enjoy himself beyond the fucking.

There are many genuine women in this adult hobby world who truly do adore men & enjoy spending time with them beyond the fucking.
Does it mean they're putting on a *fantasy show* hell no.
A smart man can & will pick up on that real quick!!!

And there are men who desire more of a *connection* with a woman than just releasing their sexual frustration and leaving.
That doesn't in any way, mean that those men are looking for something *personal*. There's a difference.

And FYI:
Some (not all) men find more of what they desire, in the women they've met in this adult lifestyle, more so than they have in women that they've met or tried to meet in the civi world.
Because some (not all) women in this adult lifestyle, have a bit of an understanding of what men desire & and they don't judge them for it.
And in turn they allow men to enjoy being themselves.
Not something, that most civi women allow. Due to the judgmental stigma of mens sexuality. Originally Posted by Wicked Milf

This one we will just have to agreee to agree on.

+1

Just call me a fool then. I will believe it when you have those connections and sparks and the girl doesn't want any cash because she is so moved. Like i said. Ain't gonna happen

Most of the gentlemen I meet we have already developed a reporre and I already have a little insight. Expectations are just to have fun and be respectful and enjoy each other. Last week I had a date with someone I had be talking with for a while and when we met I probably greeted him like he had never been greeted before i always hug and kiss but after such a long time of waiting i literally jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist...so unlike me we had a great time and totally exceeded any expectation I ever could have.... Originally Posted by Irish Vixen

So simple, but a greeting like that would make me fall in love and why not, It is what makes a man feel like a king!

If you looking for anything personal from a session with a provider your just fooling yourself. They are in the fantasy business. It's ok we all like that but get your real shit outside the hobby. I go to dinner with a real date. I only kiss with a real date. Now don't get me wrong ladies I love most of you. I just hate for guys to try to get real connection out of a paid relationship. It ain't happening. IJS Originally Posted by burkalini

Burk, you don't seem to be much fun. Trust me on this: kissing is lots of fun and it does not have to lead to an emotional commitment, although the most soulful kisser I have encountered was in the hobby. Her tongue probed into my soul with sense of passion and longing that was stunning. Yet, I left on time and we did not get married (she rejected my spontaneous proposal.)

But what is more curious to me is why you hate for guys to try to get a real connection? What is it to you if they want to embark on a fool's errand? I happen to agree that it is a silly and dangerous thing to do, but why does in engender such a strong response in you? You have made clear that no one is going to break ole Burk's heart, or are you just being a hyperbolic about the issue?

Her tongue probed into my soul with sense of passion and longing that was stunning. Yet, I left on time and we did not get married Originally Posted by awl4knot

I've been with maybe 6 or 7 providers who sent me into another world with their kisses - and yes, I left on time also! But believe me I make out like a teanager with all of my favorites.

Just call me a fool then. I will believe it when you have those connections and sparks and the girl doesn't want any cash because she is so moved. Like i said. Ain't gonna happen Originally Posted by burkalini

Ain't gonna happen?
It has!!

Quit trying to define everyone's reality!

Burk, you don't seem to be much fun. Trust me on this: kissing is lots of fun and it does not have to lead to an emotional commitment. . . .
But what is more curious to me is why you hate for guys to try to get a real connection? . . . . Originally Posted by awl4knot

Burk... There is nothing wrong with your hobby approach... if it works for you. . . . but there are no definitive truths, as you imply!
Not an opinion... simply a fact!

Oh geeze Burk's acting up again. Well at least he's being honest. Burk, if we were to meet I'd wrap my legs around you and give you a big WET kiss and you'd LOVE it! :-)