To the gents - Whats your fee if roles were reversed

Indeed I would most definitely screen! After the screening I would then cook a wonderful meal complete with a Champaigne cocktail, wine with dinner, sensual toasts, cordials after dinner and then desert "as requested".
I sure hope a get a good review!!!!
Cheers!!!

Yep

This just showed us that the men do read our ads. It is some pretty funny stuff in this thread.

i think we need to hire the guys to write our ads for us Originally Posted by 214JULES

I would be cheap but most certainly not easy.

Easy, Cheesy, Sleazy old fart here for your pleasure. GYLF ( Grandpa You'll
Like to Fuck)

5 cigars QH
9 cigars HHR
17 cigars HR

Add 20 cigars if you want me to shower before you arrive
Add 35 cigars for BFE (this includes shower and brush my teeth)
Add 10 cigars for more than one round

I have an assortment of lifelike prosthetic devices that will enhance my natural 3" erection to most any size to accommodate your needs. BBBFS is available with the use of any prosthetic device at no additional charge. Bring your own condom if you want to use the donkey schlong.

I reserve the right to douche any stinky coochie before DATY.

Anything up your butt is always welcome. Up mine is on a case by case basis depending on the size of the pencil you want to put there.

Don't call unless you are serious about booking a session. This ad tells you everything you need to know so don't call with any silly questions. Please respect my time as I do have a life outside the hobby. ( The guys are waiting for me at the strip club for the daily gossip)

I don't see foreign born midgets. Not racist just my preference.


U No U WaNt Me so PM me NoW ArE ElSe!!

I would be cheap but most certainly not easy.

Easy, Cheesy, Sleazy old fart here for your pleasure. GYLF ( Grandpa You'll
Like to Fuck)

5 cigars QH
9 cigars HHR
17 cigars HR

Add 20 cigars if you want me to shower before you arrive
Add 35 cigars for BFE (this includes shower and brush my teeth)
Add 10 cigars for more than one round

I have an assortment of lifelike prosthetic devices that will enhance my natural 3" erection to most any size to accommodate your needs. BBBFS is available with the use of any prosthetic device at no additional charge. Bring your own condom if you want to use the donkey schlong.

I reserve the right to douche any stinky coochie before DATY.

Anything up your butt is always welcome. Up mine is on a case by case basis depending on the size of the pencil you want to put there.

Don't call unless you are serious about booking a session. This ad tells you everything you need to know so don't call with any silly questions. Please respect my time as I do have a life outside the hobby. ( The guys are waiting for me at the strip club for the daily gossip)

I don't see foreign born midgets. Not racist just my preference.


U No U WaNt Me so PM me NoW ArE ElSe!! Originally Posted by cheatercheater

this is the best!!

I think I would start with a lot of great DFK ......followed by ME(the provider) undressing you slowly ....then having you lie on your tummy while I proceed to give you a full body warm lotion massage ...making your muscles relax .....shoulders ,neck,back,lower back ,feet ,calves ,thighs ,inner thighs ,and butt .......Then a flip so that your front gets same type of glorious attention ......followed by a nice warm wet DATY ....until you CIM .....Then depending on what else YOU might enjoy .......we continue ......Hell I do this with the providers I know any way ....and pay for the time .LOL But if interested ....please IM me since I dont have a Showcase YET ......nor am I verified provider as of now ....

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mysterious, utr man whore................if you get the call - bring it all
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I was wondering if someone was going to go full blown with it! You did

Are you free tonight?? LMAO!

I would be cheap but most certainly not easy.

Easy, Cheesy, Sleazy old fart here for your pleasure. GYLF ( Grandpa You'll
Like to Fuck)

5 cigars QH
9 cigars HHR
17 cigars HR

Add 20 cigars if you want me to shower before you arrive
Add 35 cigars for BFE (this includes shower and brush my teeth)
Add 10 cigars for more than one round

I have an assortment of lifelike prosthetic devices that will enhance my natural 3" erection to most any size to accommodate your needs. BBBFS is available with the use of any prosthetic device at no additional charge. Bring your own condom if you want to use the donkey schlong.

I reserve the right to douche any stinky coochie before DATY.

Anything up your butt is always welcome. Up mine is on a case by case basis depending on the size of the pencil you want to put there.

Don't call unless you are serious about booking a session. This ad tells you everything you need to know so don't call with any silly questions. Please respect my time as I do have a life outside the hobby. ( The guys are waiting for me at the strip club for the daily gossip)

I don't see foreign born midgets. Not racist just my preference.


U No U WaNt Me so PM me NoW ArE ElSe!! Originally Posted by cheatercheater

Aww no showcase....... I'll take your pics...

I think I would start with a lot of great DFK ......followed by ME(the provider) undressing you slowly ....then having you lie on your tummy while I proceed to give you a full body warm lotion massage ...making your muscles relax .....shoulders ,neck,back,lower back ,feet ,calves ,thighs ,inner thighs ,and butt .......Then a flip so that your front gets same type of glorious attention ......followed by a nice warm wet DATY ....until you CIM .....Then depending on what else YOU might enjoy .......we continue ......Hell I do this with the providers I know any way ....and pay for the time .LOL But if interested ....please IM me since I dont have a Showcase YET ......nor am I verified provider as of now .... Originally Posted by tsrv4me

I don't have comment right now, because I am laughing so hard at this!

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mysterious, utr man whore................if you get the call - bring it all
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Try the following:

1. I'd have the incall spotless with fresh flowers on display.
2. I would have tanned several weeks (without a suit) to make sure I was the right shade.
3. I would have thoroughly studied your preferences to make sure I had the right drinks and lube on hand.
4. There would be chocolate available.
5. Shower/tub facilities with fragrant soaps and bath oils would also be available.
6. Fee would be tips only, lady's discretion.
7. I would promise to take the blue vitamin at least one hour prior to your arrival (but only if you are the type that wants to play jockey for an hour.)
8. If we click, I'll propose marriage.
9. Before you leave I'll give you a massage, feed you the meal of your choice, hand you the latest sale brochures, set your GPS to Neiman's, and hand you my gold AMEX card.

You had at me lube! sign me up

HeY AlL, HotTiE HerE, ReADy To PLAy All NiTe aND MakE AlL YouR FanTaSIes CuM TRu.

**100 inCaLl**
**150 OuTCaLl**

WaiTinG AnD VeRy MoiSt FoR U!!!!!

Itzz MeEE oR ItZzz FreEeeEeeEe1

oh lisa lisa,

thanks for starting such a beautiful and hilarious and so true thread.

btw, not only am i free tonite, i'm available after 9pm til whenever...

Lisa,

I always love your threads but you really did it this time. I can't stop laughing. Should be a contender for the Hall of Fame

Oh yeah...I'm sorry to say that I would only be BFE Lite.

Only dimmed light of the T.V. tuned to your fave reality show

Start off with a deep penetrating foot massage while I beg you to tell me all about yourself, your day and anything you wish. Leave nothing out. This will be BBFS (Bare Back Foot Service) No cover necessary as I am safe and get tested monthly.

You have your choice of being fed grapes or the bottomless wine glass. Kleenex is free for those stories of not being appreciated or not being understood.

Holding, hugging, and stroking your hair is all included at no extra charge. Please know where to draw the line if you feel a connection though. This is just a business for me and fantasy only.

Note: After recently dealing with stalker problems, I have had to change my name. Please don't discuss my previous name with others in the Hobby.

Please don't ask about my menu when you call. You don't need to know "Little John's" measurements as you will never get to see him. Admit it, you're never going to get past the foot massage and talking about yourself anyway.

My rates are non-negotiable and at $20 an hour I'll be raking in the dough with multi-hour sessions.

NO GGMA (No Great-Grandmas Allowed) It's not because of age it's just a personal preference!!

Lmao! I love it........anybody else laughing their tail off.

JohnJohn you got me, I love reality tv shows, and anybody who will listen to me talk and talk.

Thanks for all your responses fellas and ladies. I laughed all day today.

I charge .10 cents per orgasm....yours....

Max, that would cost you 132.60.......LOL