Do you guys care if SHE ?

I care. I know I'm paying to be spoiled, but part of what gets me off is pleasuring a woman, so ladies first!

I agree with you Kaci - no connection means a dull workmanlike session. I try very hard to ensure that my partner enjoys herself when we are together, as that increases my pleasure exponentially.

This breaks down to 3 categories. I am a man and I must organize by compartments, right?

If it is a quickie, then it's all about the hobbiest. I don't think I have every scheduled a quickie, but my memory only goes back a dozen coochie years or so. I have scheduled for 60 and due to traffic and other mis-communication issues only had 20 in the schedule, so I think that qualifies as a quickie.

If it is a lunch break session for 30, then both parties need to agree to the itenarary. A lot can happen in 30 if you both know each other from previous encounters.

I like longer sessions because I want my partner to be relaxed and prepared for some fun and rewarding playtime. DATY is one of my favorite ways to connect with a woman and her needs and pleasure points. I learn so much from that and if there is a shift from pink to deep purple, then that is a somatic function that cannot be faked by any actress. Am I wrong or mislead?

Being desired and wanted back again and again as a playtime partner is really necessary for my personal fulfillment in my relationships.

I hope I have satisfied many more than I have disappointed.

If I have fallen short of my goal, I wish that any disappointed provider would PM me and let me know how I missed her sweet spot.

When I was younger it didnt matter. As I have gotten older it is about more then just sex. I almost get off just geting a women off. It is a given I am going to get mine, so I try to make sure the lady I am with gets her's. I know it may be a pipe dream. But I want her to leave with weak knees and saying to herself, dam that was good.

My philosophy is ladies first. To see a lady cum first is a huge turn-on. A mutually enjoyable session is a great session. Communication is the key to a pleasurable time for both sexes. On the other hand, fake O's are a huge turn-off. We are seeking the reality of passion, not an acting job like Jane Fonda in "Klute."

So guys something got me to thinking yesterday about how many

guys really care if the girl reaches her BIG O while with you?

Ladies do you care if you reach your BIG O when your with a client ?

I know i sometimes get frustrated when im almost there and they get

done first drives me nuts. Originally Posted by Kaci Snow

For me it is all about mutual pleasure...with one exception. Lindsay Lee is one provider that is so focused on my pleasure...that I don't focus on hers. She never complains about it...in fact I think she likes it. She is the only provider that does that to me ...yet. I have been in the hobby about a year and have seen probably 10 providers...so more to follow. As a rule I love a woman who cums...it is so HOT!!

I know i sometimes get frustrated when im almost there and they get

done first drives me nuts. Originally Posted by Kaci Snow

Kaci, I'm sorry you are retiring. Now, you will remain one of my fantasies. To answer your question, it's a shame the male ego is so fragile and providers feel compelled to fake their pleasure. If only everyone was free to be totally honest, most of us would go to great lengths to see that nobody ever left unsatisfied. My tongue still works great, even if I did finish first.

Kaci, I'm sorry you are retiring. Now, you will remain one of my fantasies. To answer your question, it's a shame the male ego is so fragile and providers feel compelled to fake their pleasure. If only everyone was free to be totally honest, most of us would go to great lengths to see that nobody ever left unsatisfied. My tongue still works great, even if I did finish first. Originally Posted by esteve

Yes Kaci...sorry I won't get to enjoy your pleasures. Best wishes!!

Hey Kaci

I like your question.

I dont have to reach the big "O", it takes a lot of work honestly.That right special touch.

Now on the other hand, the gents have to reach the big "O". Sometimes im greedy and see just how many they can get. I have left some victims out there. Its an ego booster for me to see how many the gents can get.

It is about the connection, the mood, the conversation and how he treats me.

It is about the connection, the mood, the conversation and how he treats me. Originally Posted by lisa.lisa0302

Lisa, you're absolutely right. And it's a two way street. When two people treat each other in a mutually pleasing manner out of the sheets, it makes for amazing chemistry between the sheet!

I am a Nympho so yeah I usually get off if their good.. But yeah I do hate it when I am almost there and then they go pop.

Great question!

I'm sorry, but I give three lessons per week... I'm in this for my O's. Hell, I'm in this for everyone's O's!

I must say I'm impressed by the quality of the guys responses (I'd like to meet all of them), and the concern's expressed for their partners. The responses mirror nearly all of my thoughts/feelings on the subject. I would have guessed a different range of responses. Admittedly I'm new to this kind of "hobbying" (interacting with an independent), and haven't met another male who partakes (hope to remedy that soon).

I try to imagine it from the provider side (and I expected to see more responses from them). If I were a provider, I envision not being attracted or into many of my consorts. If that were so, I wouldn’t have the interest in getting myself off more than once or twice a day if that (if diminutive “he” is up and rubbing on something he is going to want some relief at some point). Hell, I probably couldn’t do more than 2x/day if I WERE interested in providing that.

Going back to me as a payer, I don’t assume that the provider would even want to kiss me, and I wouldn’t want her to if she was only doing it to provide a GFE, which she might think I expect. My preference and need is for honesty and communication with another human being that I will hopefully come to know and like. I don’t care how good she might look, or even what she might be willing to do. If we can’t communicate, I ain’t going back. However, if we could relate well (whether I were a provider or purchaser) I’d be AT LEAST as interested in pleasing her, if she were open to it. I enjoy showing a woman a good time, and (if purchaser) want her to have that if she wanted it to. (Gee, maybe I need to reconsider my perspective as a provider. Thinking through this I can now envision wanting my paying-for-it-partner to have the intimacy of seeing/hearing me get off if that were important to them (made them feel like an alluring, sexy, desirable woman)). I’d either have to be a low volume provider or save that for her for our next session, forsaking it with others until she arrived (dream on slider, imagining that you could make a living at this.) Gee, this could get complicated to manage.

I have had the pleasure of being associated with a number of provider O’s, some under circumstances where I couldn’t touch them (we masturbated while watching each other through a window, or could limited touch, due to the business circumstances). I guess my most memorable is one woman who I had seen for more than three years (she is now in a different line of work and we are still in communication), could fondle her (first hiney I felt other than my spouse’s for more than 30 years), but we couldn’t touch each other’s most private parts. She changed jobs to where full service was provided but only did L1’s. Imagine my surprise when I went to visit (all the way in Dallas instead of FtW), and she came in saying she had a surprise for me, dangling a condom in front of my eyes. “You don’t have to do this,” I said. “I want to,” said she. Well, we had a great time. She got off four times orally, and twice from the little guy. Most O’s I ever helped provide at one session. How do you think that made me feel as a man? As much as I would have liked to, I didn’t get off, as I had cum with my SO several hours before (I told the provider). Not cumming didn’t matter to me. I went there expecting to talk to her and show support for her new job, which she was struggling with (she had to borrow a condom from another girl, who said “really, you? I thought you didn’t do that”). Actually, at her previous place of employment I didn’t even try to get off many times. She was totally open with me and, at the time, the only source of that kind of communication for me locally. I had other needs. By the way, before starting a session with her at the old place, if I hoped to get off, one of my first questions was “when did you get off last?” Even though she could be multi-orgasmic, I expected the possibility to be more remote if satisfied recently. [If you have read some of my other verbose posts you know I have reservations about how far to go, and what constitutes playing safe. This experience lead to my exploring this question in some detail and formulating some basic thresholds. Still, when the little guy is in control, it can be hard to adhere to them.]

One thing I’ve learned from reading this thread is that I need to be more proactive and ASK the person I’m with what they would like. I’ve been assuming too much. I had my first experience with an independent this past week, and enjoyed it very much. However, I’d like a do-over, as I now suspect she might have been open to more on the receiving side. I will apologize to her for being selfish. I enjoyed being with her very much, and what she did for me, and would love to “make her holler.”

I love it when a women has the big O (I can tell if it's fake) it really changes the whole session. I have been really surprized from time to time recently, I had two providers have multiple Os...jack pot baby! I will say this, if she doesn't have one I'm ok with it.

Yea, I do find myself happier after a session if I know that she had a good time. (I am definitely open to instruction... lol)