Whats the F**king Point

No apology needed bud. Glad to hear from you.

We all end up the same bud. What sets you apart from others is what you get done in between the beginning and the end. Originally Posted by TexAss

Even more than what you get done....... how many people you affect....

motorload, I have experienced the loss of a child (who was very young) and the loss of my mom, and I yet I won't try to tell you I know how you feel about what you have experienced. I have not walked in your shoes except to feel the despair of utter helplessness when you cannot do a darn thing to help someone you love. I am truly sorry for your pain, even though I don't know you.
I did not know nitwitboy either...but I am sure friends and family are asking that tough question right now...the dreaded "Why?".
I won't promise you that you will get over your pain, but I do know you can get through it.
My best to you sir!

The point, as best I can tell, is to love each other and make our journey as bearable and as pleasant as we can for each other.

Although NWB has suffered and passed, think of all of the positive affect that he has had on people's lives. He is in a better place with no suffering, so I am sure he is content with what he accomplished in life.

It's not about the struggle, its about how we handle the struggle that makes us who we are. Sure we all have trials, some more than others, but with people who care about us and strength from wherever you can find it...it will all be worth it in the end.

When I think of my maternal grandmother who suffered for 10 or more years with Alzheimers (sp?) I remember the joy that she brought to all of us, even in her struggle. She taught me, before her illness, to be a good person and to help people and love people regardless of what faults they have and during her illness she taught me more than ever, to cherish every second that you have with the ones you love, because shortly after her illness set in, she began to forget who we were.

Because of her, I will never let my mother or sisters or children go to bed without telling them that I love them. Am I sad that she is gone? Yes, but I am so grateful for all that she taught me and gave me.

i never wanted to be a hero Originally Posted by motorload

Oh I know. Doesn't it suck!! But isn't it amazing that you can make such a difference??

To reach down and offer your beaten and bloody hand to another broken soul that you could have ignored, and nursed your own wounds, makes you a hero. The fact that you know what the end holds for you if you step out and risk your heart makes you mighty. Knowing the price yet having the mercy to pay it gladly, is the mark of a great man.

So few great men remain. Keep your breed alive by staying in it's ranks. Do not EVER let the bad guy win.

The more difficult path, walk, a Jedi must. Do not under estimate the dark
side.

but for what tex? To have kids, have them expierience the pain of losing someone....so you can feel your world crushed down around you, if something would happen to one of your children................?? Originally Posted by motorload

This happend to my best friend, right before her daughter's first birthday she found out she had cancer. I love my best friend very much.. like a little sister, and love her daughter like my own. When I got the phone call I broke down crying. I just couldn't stop asking God why, why out precious innocent baby, she is so sweet...why?? That was a year ago, she survided, thank God, She shocked the doctors..after all that kemo..she never lost her hair. I don't think there is a accurate answer as to why we have to loose loved ones motorload. It sucks, point blank period. It sucks, it hurts horribly... why can't someone have a cure for all these cancers??

If you firmly beleive in God understand that things pass on his time not ours so in a way we dont even have any control over that feeling of whats the point because the point is to be the best you can be
Motor I have been where you are now so many times and everytime I am there its tougher because we aint getting younger and I for one am not a quitter
I firmly beleive that everyone of us that resides on this crazy planet is here for a reason good or bad. Once that purpose is served we move on or pass to the next thing .
If you dont beleive then look at it like this I am sure you have people in your life that look up to you , need you respect you and if you werent here their lives would be altered in some major way

Everyone of us matters Everything is connected in some sort of fashion Life isnt fair it was never meant to be that way. You make the best of what is and be greatful for what you have

I have lost many,, parents friends the love of my life so horribly that I actually got so down I actually tried to end it all but that didnt work and I realize for some reason I am still here.

Yes I get frustrated because of all these tests but the calming in a sort of way is when I look and see my kids and those who say genuinely that I matter

Keep your head up there are people who do genuinely rely on your prescence.

I just realized Nitwitboy passed a few hours ago and never read the other posts and as I have said a number of times the cause of his passing moves so fast in some and slow in others Some it invades causes destruction and they survive and some you just dont know.. Again Cancer must itself die.....

Theres a passage in the Bible and it says more or less Faith, Hope and Love are the way

Have Faith God knows always have hope and surround yourself with Love it does work


And of course go out and have fun and forget about all this crap even if its a hour or two ....

I have to echo what Reese said a little bit. We are all part of one big system. Honestly you never know what effect you have had on the lives of others. You may in passing have inspired something great in someone's life or all of ours. The real point is to be good to each other. We are all in the same circle of life, bumping around and moving each other. Bad things happen to us all but so do good things. Dont ignore all of the beauty in life because of all the shit in it. Without the darkness how can you possibly appreciate the light?

Ah, Motorload. I feel your pain, man. Been there.

You're asking the questions that philosophers and theologians have tried to answer since the beginning of cognizance. But as a philosophical friend of mine puts it, sometimes life sucks and sometimes it REALLY sucks! Shit just happens, man, and to all of us. Some worse than others, but it's still shit.

Life is fleeting, random, and most of all, never fair. No one gets out of this thing alive. We all want to think that we're in control of our lives, our destinies and our own little worlds, when the truth is just the opposite. That's a hard pill to swallow. Perhaps the point is that there is no point.

And don't ever say things like, "Things can't get any worse," because they sure as shit can and in a heartbeat, as you well know.

As far as I've been able to determine, the only thing we really have control over is ourselves. How we respond to and deal with the vagaries of this world is a choice each of us makes daily. We can either feel sorry for ourselves, curse the darkness, curl up in a ball and wait for the end or we can slog through it, day by day, doing the best we know how. We alone control our attitudes and thoughts and that, in turn, controls how we feel about ourselves and our lives.

For your own sake, I would encourage you to seek therapeutic and medical help as it reads to me like you're extremely depressed. I truly wish you well and hope you're able to pull out of the funk.

Motorload my friend, Everyone here has made alot of good points and everyone on this planet has a Story of life to tell. From the very rich, to the homeless. From The sick and dying to the Happiest person in the World. Everyone will expierence LIFE & DEATH, either directly or indirectly.

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”


“I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there is no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, No challenge too great for me.”


“The difference between school and life”: In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.”



"Its a Wonderfull life" is the BEST movie ever made when you think about LIFE and say: "Whats the Fucking Point"



CG

You never know what you'll find when you open up a thread on this board, especially one with a title like this one. OMG, so much wisdom here that I wanted to quote the whole thread! But...

... remember this, "it's not only the destination at the end of the road but the trip you take to get there."
...
And remember it is always better to regret the things you've done than to regret the things you haven't!!! Originally Posted by Marla

I'd also like to add:
"If the thought of lack – whether it be money, recognition, or love – has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack. Rather than acknowledge the good that is already in your life, all you see is lack." -Eckhart Tolle, from "A New Earth" (great read, by the way...) Originally Posted by Dannie

My wife died from a brain tumor and I had my own (apparently successful) encounter with prostate cancer, but since then I've stumbled into some amazing activities that have me living a life I could not have imagined only a couple of years ago. Problem is, those things only fill up part of the day/week/month and in between it's easy to get lost thinking about the "lack" or what's missing. Somehow the void gets filled up with useless or pointless "stuff". Add to that a tendency to set unreasonable or unattainable goals (whether business, relationships, other) and it's easy to start asking "what's the point"? It's hard to throw out the junk and focus on the things that make the journey so incredible.

Dannie, Marla, Lana, I really appreciate your thoughtful posts (in this thread and others). I sometimes wonder if y'all should offer "talk-only" time. I somehow think that a lot of us could learn much from such wise ladies.

OK, this was a difficult post to write. Hope it at least makes some sense...

Edit/footnote: Somehow I missed a whole bunch of this thread before posting. Lots more wisdom to absorb. My apologies to some of you I didn't acknowledge initially, especially SPTL.

Edit... deleted, my mistake...

Pointless-

I too nurse a streak of Nihilism about life in general. When doing an inventory of life till now, the reflection for me points to loss, or more accurately a series of losses. Family, love, hope, self esteem and optimism. It becomes easy to understand the caricature of an older codgety man filled with cynicism.

My earliest remembrances are of a typical family unit- mother, father, brother and me. My brother was seven years my elder and as I grew more aware and he entered his teen years, the household was frequently a maelstrom of heated argument and animosity between my father and he. When he was expelled from high school for knocking up his girlfriend, he was booted from the home as well (or so I thought), It was not until years later that I learned that he was a half-brother, my mother’s child from a previous marriage, and had actually left my home and gone to his blood father’s. I had no contact with him for more than 10 years. Gone from my life with no warning. Poof!

Again unbeknownst to me during this period of time my mother was very ill. As I was around nine years old, I did not find it uncommon for her to be hospitalized 50% to 70% of the time. It was my normal. Imagine my shock when at age 11, I was told that she was dead. When I was old enough to understand, I learned that she was treated for cervical and uterine cancer for three years before succumbing at age 43. A mother one day, no mother the next.

My father, a raging alcoholic, was totally emotionally unavailable for me. There was absolutely no affection in my life, and the verbal abuse broke my spirit and self esteem like no physical abuse could have ever approached. As a result of this I formed no close female relationships during my youth. I had no frame of reference for both emotional and physical intimacies. I put up a good front in public, and though I never spoke of any physical conquests, friends assumed I was just enjoying the easy pickings of young adulthood. In reality, though I yearned for it, I had none. I did not lose my virginity until very late (I’m embarrassed to say when!), and it was a non-event. It was not until I met my future wife that things began to change.

I dated a woman I had met through a mutual friend. She was three years younger and had some sense and brains. She helped me through understanding my history and believing in me. We married, and though marriage was sometimes rocky, loved each other. We both agreed that faithfulness in marriage was a main underpinning, and I never strayed. Too bad I can’t say the same for her. After 8 years of marriage, I discovered she was having an affair. It was the most devastating news I could receive. I requested counseling as I wanted to try to salvage our marriage. We attended together and individually. We separated for a time and reunited. A good friend told me “Get rid of her now-she’ll do it again”. How prophetic. There was another affair, another reconciliation and—you guessed it, a third affair. I’m divorced for 13 years now. I have a few problems, but a wife ain’t one of ‘em. See the loss trend here?

Through this period of affair after affair I sunk into a deep depression. I could write a novel about this, but suffice it to say that I lost all hope. Thankfully I was saved from that through better living through chemistry.

The biggest decision I make most days is whether to wear jeans or shorts. I depend on nobody and am responsible for just myself. My point is, any inter-human relationships which I have been a party to have resulted in net loss for me. As a consequence, I choose not to be ensnared in any. I have no blood family alive. The bloodline ends with me as I have spawned no offspring. I do not relish growing old totally alone, however I do not see myself making it to the age that I would be dependent on others help for my daily living activities. I lead a most uncomplicated life. I am a semi-retired medical professional and own several rental properties which provide me with a modest income. Everything is paid for including my own home. I own a BMW and a Ford Excursion. The hobby fulfills my sexual and companionship needs and I have a handful of long-term true friends. That is enough for me.

ok....where to start. Lets start here. Thanks to each and everyone who replied. I read each reply. I believe all the things that have happened in my life have truley made me a better person to everyone I come in contact with. I believe that the tragedies have given me the ability to have the compassion and understanding.
Today is a new day.......................some one turn off the wind though......thanks guys.
Next time when It seems so dark....I'm going to put my chuck norris shirt on (inside joke) and say bring it on!!!