I don't want to turn this into a "was it or wasn't it rape" discussion...I definitely felt completely violated and any person who does that to someone else has serious issues but I don't know if I would compare it to a brutal rape with a beating/gun to my head or something and I don't feel comfortable in the role of victim so I'd rather just not go there.
As far as "was it or was it not an accident" I was there and experienced it, and in retrospect have found enough circumstantial evidence that I firmly don't believe it was an accident. It was like he tried the "oopsy, accident" line and it didn't work and then he moved onto intimidation and getting physically threatening and when that didn't work he left.
Knowing that posting an Alert on him on Eccie would open myself up to a he said/she said with him going to back to playing Mr. Innocent since it would be online and he couldn't tense his muscles up and get in anyone's face online. Plus you're right it is *possible* in some situations for a condom to come off or malfunction in some way and maybe some people on Eccie have experienced that and would think I was giving the guy a hard time over an honest accident.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I DIDN'T POST AN ALERT ON ECCIE, I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THOUGHT OF AS A "DRAMA QUEEN" FOR IT.
I assume almost everyone engages in BBFS with people they are in a sexually monogamous relationship(long term dating/married) - since I don't hobby if I have a boyfriend that doesn't really apply to me at the moment.
I do enjoy BBFS, I engage in it when I have been with someone for extended period of time. I would not engage in such with a provider, it's just not a practical risk. For those that have decided the risk is worth it, more power to you. As long as both parties agree to participate, enjoy yourselves. I TOTALLY AGREE!
The situation Reya brings up has a couple of interpretations depending on if it really was an accident or not. If it was an accident, then it was an accident. We could try to put more on it, but in the end, it has happened to many of us...without malicious intent.
If it was not an accident, then it was a sexual contact without consent. This is rape. Remember that the next time you think about slipping the hat off.
Originally Posted by Rand Al'Thor