Fetlife has a lot of guys who do not understand the role and responsibility of being a Dom. Communication and setting boundaries are the key.
A good Dom gets in the head of their sub - Discovers what pushes them. Its not just tying someone up and spanking them...although it can be. If you really want to experience it, you have to accept that the sub has all of the real power and the Dom has only the power the sub allocates to them and only for as long as the sub wants the Dom to have the power.
As a sub, if you truly surrender your power to the Dom you can have a completely liberating experience.
Originally Posted by Heiny
Ditto. And what OldRichWhiteGuy said. And it gets expensive and VERY time consuming. Good toys and equipment are not easy to find (really specialty items) and not easy to hide. Bondage, spanking, teasing, and all sorts of kinks and fetishes should NEVER be rushed.
As the sub, do you think you want to be dominated for 30m? 60m? I have had a couple of relationships of this type (including a current SB) and I NEVER spend less than 2 hours with her and usually 3-4 or more if I can. Some time before, lots of play time, but lots of after time, too. As wild and willing as most subs in my experience are, most also actually want a feeling of safety and security. They want to give up everything (at least for that period of time to you). Any real Dom knows there is a lot of RESPONSIBILITY that goes along with the gift of her submission. Its a whole 'nother level of intimacy.
Now add that up from a guy's perspective. Finding someone that will admit she likes it and likes the same things you do. Making a connection. Building the trust. Per hour appointments for 3-4 hours each. Time away from the RW responsibilities. It just adds up very fast. Oh, a renting a real dungeon/play world as well, if you want to do it right. Almost as much as the ladies time.
In a perfect world, I'd build a dungeon (multiple rooms) with all sorts of different things to play with, and ... well, let you imagination run away with itself.
I love all you ladies that like this stuff. You're such interesting people.