Ari - don't take this the wrong way, and read the whole post, but bigcountry is right. All providers lie to some extent. Your job is to create a fantasy, and that fantasy starts when I show up and ends when I leave. When I'm there, I'm 10 years younger, 15 pounds lighter (which beats the hell out of the 50 pounds lighter than girls had to make believe I was a few years ago), and you're wildly attracted to me. That's not exactly a 'lie,' maybe, but it's also not reality....and I know that it ends when I give the girl a hug and leave, and I know it's tied to what's left on the nightstand.
And, as proof - remember the thread about 'what if you recognize a provider in public?' All of the women - including you, IIRC, wanted to not be acknowledged. That doesn't make you a bad person at all - it's just a recognition of the fantasy/falsehood that surrounds this hobby/business.
You seem like a lovely person, and I really should see you one of these days - but that simple fact of the business stays the same.
The problem comes in when some people want to blur those lines, as Helicopter did in a small way or SS does regularly in large ways. If a provider has a broken down car and needs help, I might choose to help - by booking a session in the conventional manner. And that's the way it should be. That doesn't mean that there aren't women that I've seen that I respect, that I like, and even would want to date in a completely different world. But it does mean that I never forget that single important fact. I don't get lied to and manipulated outside-of-session because I don't create the opportunity for women to do so.
So, yes....you're a liar. And thank God for that, and for the rest of you women who are willing to be. Does that make sense?
Originally Posted by Kshunter
Yes, it makes sense especially in a philosophical manner. And if we're speaking in that fashion, that's fine ... your argument, which was so well written and absolutely has much truth to it.
But in defense of what Ari wrote, and I agreed with what she stated, we're called consummate liars so often that it's really offensive to the few of us who really just aren't.
I remember a few years back, I got an older newbie up on his feet and was in the process of pushing him out of my nest. He needed some variety and well, it was time.
He was so very happy. Then he told me how much he liked me for my honesty, etc., and how "Wow, you really are a real person! I mean, the few others that I've met are real people, too!".
I'm laying there in bed, naked, with this man and he's just told me that now he considered me to be a human being whereas before, he didn't. He sincerely thought that sex workers were subhuman.
Although he felt that he was giving me a compliment, it really was a smack in the face.
I don't know what happened between these two people. If the "payment" was for $100, then my thought would be to just pay the man and not have this drama. It's worth the $100 to have this disappear, if nothing else.
But when others segue and make blanket statements about the constant lying from providers, let me suggest a little segue.
I sincerely believe that this demimonde that we play in is just a microcosm of the real world. So what I'm attempted to say is that there are plenty of people, who are NOT sex workers, that live their lives off of manipulating, cheating and lying to others.
The collective "us" haven't cornered the marketing for lying by any stretch of the imagination. So why are we always (constantly) blamed for lying all of the time when there isn't any real proof of it (except in dramatic situations such as this one)?
Anyway, I have no dog in this fight but I do hate to hear of people feeling like they've been taken advantage of. It happens to me a lot. And it's always a huge drag.