NBA POLICY

Hey ladies I am kind of new to eccie as far as reviews and post and I just wanted to say that if you do not see Black Men please put that on your profile/AD regardless of what people may think of you so that way great nice black gentle like my self want call you. Trust and believe that if you do not want to see me due to race then you are not the person I want to see. I had a situation yesterday where a seem like nice lady set an appt with me and then 10 mins before the appt she text and ask what race I was, well that most of the time mean that she don't see AA and that is cool with me what a woman prefer that is her choice and I respect that, just please put that on your AD/Profile or website and Black men who is intelligent and drama free like my self want call or at least I will speak for my self. if there is any white ladies that do see black men please PM me and we can go from their. I just want to find the right provider that I can connect with and have fun I am 38 years old travel a lot for work and I do not do drama very laid back and cool I wish all the ladies well and please be safe out their Thanks so much. Originally Posted by suiram77

Well, dang. I just wrote a post in Welcome and Introductions about how I unsure my activity would be in here, and saw a reply to this post, and thought to well reply myself. Good figure.

Suiram, thank you for posting your thoughts and suggestions on this NBA policy, even if I'm late to the party on it. As a mixed AA/black man myself, I feel the same that providers really should make an announcement of her 'preference' in her showcase or Ad. It would benefit everyone and it's common courtesy. I know many of you, like me, would not want to engage someone here who generally has a problem with a major component of our identity.

And let's face reality for a second Fellas. Despite it being the year 2014, we are only roughly 50 years removed from a time where here in the great southern state of Texas, we wouldn't even be able to speak to women of the fairer skin/different race, let allow be intimate with them. It's just a simple truth. 50 years is not a lot of time in the grand scheme of things, especially in cases of belief systems and ideals that have been engrained for hundreds of years before the modern era. Mothers and fathers of other races have passed their particular views about AA men to the next generations. And then for some, it's not even racism as much as it's a comfort level or real preference of attraction. I can't fault this from a provider. But I have come to terms with it.

A simple note expressing that a lady wishes not to see a man of darker complexion is the right move. Even if it frustrates and saddens me when any provider I find particularly desirable will not see me based on my pigmentation. That way, I can lick the wound in my heart and move on in giving another provider an opportunity to have a wonderful, passionate client experience.


And despite the reputation I'm sure I'm gaining for lengthy-ness in my only 2 posts to date, I like to note 2 other things here. One, the negative. Like what I just stated above, I've had to come to grabs with another reality: A lot of knock-headed 'brothas' have created a more...difficult environment for the rest of us in both image and temperament to providers. A lot of them (providers) tend to weed out potential threats to their livelihood, and being abrasive, abusive, or generally a jerk are all apart of that. One can eliminate the potential of headache by eliminating the source. Sure it's profiling and a certain level of prejudice. But it's also genuine and understandable. I know it doesn't change how frustrating and sad for us good ones this is.

However, two, the positive. From my somewhat limited experiences, I can honestly say that being 'limited' from several of these restrictive NBA worded policies in providers I'm attracted to has NOT stopped me and many of us from collecting a great reservoir of adorable and incredible ladies of differing races. In seeing the ones I have, they show a glimpse of the future, where race labels and restrictive NBA style policies cease; where everyone can be treated as the one human race.

That's a major comfort, and makes it very easy to forget those Ads that restrict men like us. Besides, who's thinking of those type when embracing and making love to a woman who openly gives you access to her, and appreciates your entire image and complete essence.

Perhaps some ladies don't have a strict NBA policy but they are turning you down and using that as a reason? How should they handle that?

I feel for you, but I find your posts a bit hard to read. I might jump to the conclusion that I wouldn't connect with you based on that. I'm experienced enough to know that is based on other things besides race like background, education, etc. and not race. But not everyone is me... Originally Posted by LilMynx69

That's funny I have not been turn down mam this only happen once and that was an appointment that was already made and I was 10 mins from arriving when the provider ask what race I was over text and then she said sorry she do not see AA men but that info was never on her showcase because if it was I would of never call I love giving my money and sex to women who want it boo lol so that was my only point of my post that I started.I have 3 ATF and a few other ladies I see so I am good mama if I have not seen you then you don't know nothing about me to turn me down besides it will be your lost not mine so sorry boo you have the wrong one. I can give you a list of women that will tell you that I am the real deal with amazing oral skills and tip very well. oh btw if you don"t think we will click then I could not agree with you more keep it pushing baby!!!! see how cool my ass is wow!!! so amazing.

Not all ladies will put that they don't see a certain race. Its up to you to ask as a client.....just as its her responsibility to ask if its an overt concern while she's screening you.

Some ladies won't put that they won't see certain races just to avoid the stigma of being racist or having a pimp as soome ladies with NBA policys have. Some hobbyist who happen to be white might not want to support the ignorance of seeing a lady who wouldn't see any race. So why would a lady post her racial preference on her profile willingly to lose potential suitors who wouldn't know or care in their case anyways.

Also not posting their preference can also lend itself to when things get slow for them......piggybacking and later allowing black clients on some shady ymmv stuff. It happens........ Originally Posted by gimme_that

Ok Ladies for the last time some of you may have misunderstood what I was posting about so here it is very clearly. My situation only happen once and the difference in what you all are talking about and what happen to me is the fact that we had already spoke on the phone after she cleared me for screening with 2 or my ATF. We set appointment and I was about 10 mins away when she text me and ask me my race now keep in mind this was about 4 hours later after we spoke on the phone so in my case she had plenty of time to ask me that but she did not. I call her about 30 mins before the appointment and told her I was on my way she said cool so when she hit me with the race question 10 mins from her incall I was just stun.Her incall was in downtown Dallas area and I am in Frisco/Plano area so that was a lil drive for me. I text her back and ask so why didn't you tell me that and I did not see any where in your showcase that you did not see AA men and she just never text me back. So I just charge it to the game and said fuck it well at least I have Gas money LOL.The next day I said let me write a post asking that if any provider that does not see AA men please state that in your showcase and that is what my post was about and I see the results of that now very funny and interesting people I may say. What I would like you ladies not men just ladies to understand is I get it I am sure it is some ok reason I guess why you may not have it posted but if I call or PM you then please tell me this at that time and I will be so cool with your answer. Sure babe no worries thank you so much, but truthfully I do not even want to contact you if I can read this info in your showcase that was my only main point.If some want or can't do it for whatever reason then ok what ever boo do you but to make an appt like in my case and let a guy get almost their and then hit him with the okie dokie oh what race are you that is just not cool man on no level because 90% of the time if a women is asking you what race you are and you are Black that means they Don't see AA men.That is what you call a real bait and switch lmao!!!! so if any one still do not see where I am coming from after reading this then I D G A S!!!!!! sorry take care and be safe.

Ok Ladies for the last time some of you may have misunderstood what I was posting about so here it is very clearly. My situation only happen once and the difference in what you all are talking about and what happen to me is the fact that we had already spoke on the phone after she cleared me for screening with 2 or my ATF. We set appointment and I was about 10 mins away when she text me and ask me my race now keep in mind this was about 4 hours later after we spoke on the phone so in my case she had plenty of time to ask me that but she did not. I call her about 30 mins before the appointment and told her I was on my way she said cool so when she hit me with the race question 10 mins from her incall I was just stun.Her incall was in downtown Dallas area and I am in Frisco/Plano area so that was a lil drive for me. I text her back and ask so why didn't you tell me that and I did not see any where in your showcase that you did not see AA men and she just never text me back. So I just charge it to the game and said fuck it well at least I have Gas money LOL.The next day I said let me write a post asking that if any provider that does not see AA men please state that in your showcase and that is what my post was about and I see the results of that now very funny and interesting people I may say. What I would like you ladies not men just ladies to understand is I get it I am sure it is some ok reason I guess why you may not have it posted but if I call or PM you then please tell me this at that time and I will be so cool with your answer. Sure babe no worries thank you so much, but truthfully I do not even want to contact you if I can read this info in your showcase that was my only main point.If some want or can't do it for whatever reason then ok what ever boo do you but to make an appt like in my case and let a guy get almost their and then hit him with the okie dokie oh what race are you that is just not cool man on no level because 90% of the time if a women is asking you what race you are and you are Black that means they Don't see AA men.That is what you call a real bait and switch lmao!!!! so if any one still do not see where I am coming from after reading this then I D G A S!!!!!! sorry take care and be safe. Originally Posted by suiram77

Damn.

Just from reading this, I would've assumed that your were black before you even called. The Ebonics and lack of good grammar/spelling/space key is shonuf right on point!

Nevertheless, asking a provider if she is "AA friendly" should always be a first. I've even had AA hobbyists ask me if I was "AA friendly" myself, and I am black.

So next time, just ask the provider beforehand if she is "AA friendly". Better yet, please make sure that you are using the "King's English" as well.

Damn.

Just from reading this, I would've assumed that your were black before you even called. The Ebonics and lack of good grammar/spelling/space key is shonuf right on point!

Nevertheless, asking a provider if she is "AA friendly" should always be a first. I've even had AA hobbyists ask me if I was "AA friendly" myself, and I am black.

So next time, just ask the provider beforehand if she is "AA friendly". Better yet, please make sure that you are using the "King's English" as well. Originally Posted by BrownSugarBaby

wow that's not creepy at all Rambro...... Originally Posted by Tony Gambino

Lol.

I use hypnosis, with a magical charm hanging from my wood to make them fall hopelessly in love with me.

Believe it or not, Mr. Gambino, not all of us are born white, and many of those that aren't have to have 'work-arounds' to get what we need in society.

Damn.

Just from reading this, I would've assumed that your were black before you even called. The Ebonics and lack of good grammar/spelling/space key is shonuf right on point!

Nevertheless, asking a provider if she is "AA friendly" should always be a first. I've even had AA hobbyists ask me if I was "AA friendly" myself, and I am black.

So next time, just ask the provider beforehand if she is "AA friendly". Better yet, please make sure that you are using the "King's English" as well. Originally Posted by BrownSugarBaby

Thank you, BSB. That was what I was trying to say without saying it. The difference between the two posters' grammar above, says it all.

I would ignore the Ebonics, boo...and totally be cool with b.discreet. I'd guess most ladies would agree.

Here's a new suggested note for providers...feel free to use.

"While I enjoy seeing Gentlemen of various backgrounds, I prefer to see upscale gentlemen who have a firm grasp on the English language, both in the written and spoken form. If you attempt to communicate with me, but I can barely understand what you've written, I will probably decline to see you. In order to save time and effort, I reserve the right to simply state that I don't see members of your racial/ethnic group. I reserve the right to apply this policy selectively, especially when business is slow. Proceed at your own risk."

The OP is so defensive. He doesn't even notice when people are agreeing with him when it comes to his frustrations. He just doesn't like the answers that no one is going to post a list of their exclusions when it comes to race, gender, age, etc. Maybe a few will, but never the masses.
It's all part of screening. But what do I know?

Even though I rubbed him the wrong way, I do not exclude anyone based on race or age. So long as they are polite, articulate and 18+. When it comes to gender, I am men only. Couples message me from time to time asking if I see couples, I just reply.. "No, sorry.. But this person does.. Check them out."

For what it's worth, I think the OP is more frustrated that he drove and was on his way there when the lady decided to refuse to see him. That is total bullsh!t. It's not the reason why, it's how she handled it. (Dear OP, in case you can't decipher this - I am agreeing with you that you were treated wrongly, again.)

Here's a new suggested note for providers...feel free to use.

"While I enjoy seeing Gentlemen of various backgrounds, I prefer to see upscale gentlemen who have a firm grasp on the English language, both in the written and spoken form. If you attempt to communicate with me, but I can barely understand what you've written, I will probably decline to see you. In order to save time and effort, I reserve the right to simply state that I don't see members of your racial/ethnic group. I reserve the right to apply this policy selectively, especially when business is slow. Proceed at your own risk." Originally Posted by LilMynx69

this is a very good way to put this

this is a very good way to put this Originally Posted by Wulf_Princess

Hey WP...nice to see you. xoxo

Hey WP...nice to see you. xoxo Originally Posted by LilMynx69

not gonna be around much, i've been doing some research on this topic... and it's been very .... sad, yea lets use that word

Damn.

Just from reading this, I would've assumed that your were black before you even called. The Ebonics and lack of good grammar/spelling/space key is shonuf right on point!

Nevertheless, asking a provider if she is "AA friendly" should always be a first. I've even had AA hobbyists ask me if I was "AA friendly" myself, and I am black.

So next time, just ask the provider beforehand if she is "AA friendly". Better yet, please make sure that you are using the "King's English" as well. Originally Posted by BrownSugarBaby

too be fair there are alot of lovely AA ladies that do not see AA men at all lol

it's like me refusing to see Irish red heads lol, but you know attraction lol

I would ignore the Ebonics, boo...and totally be cool with b.discreet. I'd guess most ladies would agree. Originally Posted by LilMynx69

Wow, I am totally flattered by that endorsement, lol. Though as I stated in my introduction welcome piece, I'm taking it slowly. I'm still a learner in communicating and understanding the culture around here. Still, wow. Thanks dear. That made my Sunday.

too be fair there are alot of lovely AA ladies that do not see AA men at all lol

it's like me refusing to see Irish red heads lol, but you know attraction lol Originally Posted by Wulf_Princess

Yea, Wulf_Princess. I've seen that trend growing. Like I said earlier, some of that is an image and experiential problem, while others are, well, the providers. Truth be told, I believe when something, anything is "acceptable" to the eyes of the community, in this case, posting No AA/NBA policy/etc, then all have the right to copy and paste that same position. It's sad to me, as a society we are veering to a more positive view on multi-racialism, and yet here in hobby world there seems to be the direct opposite effect.

I've not thought about the language side before, as I'm always surprising people that I'm actually black when I speak lol (but hey, I'm just me). Will say though the language preference argument has a lot more weight to me as opposed to others b/c it's not limited to generalizing and denying a whole group just for a bad image of a few; ie it's not a black/white thing as much as it's a comfort level and communication thing. Especially in terms of 'close encounters.' Anyone can have ebonics style discourse, tho the image Ebonics or NBA generally IMMEDIATELY 'colors' your mental image of who you are talking about.

So this view is akin to what I viewed what Mark Cuban said as opposed to Donald Sterling. Though there are some debatable moments indeed to Mr. Cuban, he didn't verbal blast or lump all one group or groups into a single generalization. And we all know that cannot be said of Mr. Sterling.

Like when we talk about 'race', we aren't really talking about race as a whole as much as we are singling out ONE race. Just food for thought on this fun Sunday. Thanks all for adding to this dialogue. I do enjoy intellectual ramblings from time to time when brain #2 is in control

Please post on the super-thread. That is why it was stickied. I have grown weary of a new thread on this every two weeks.

NBA - Preference Vs.Prejudice Vs.Racism Superthread



Thank you. Originally Posted by Glenn Quagmire

See, I didn't even know there were such things as "super threads" on here. I have much to learn about the etiquette around here. And sometimes it takes me a long minute to catch one. Thanks for making me better aware