If you found out your ATF had a pimp, would you still see her?

Well, to be fair I don't think in terms of "false mental ownership" that's what I mean about being civie minded. I know the minute this isn't the same as civie when the gift is given nor do I expect otherwise. I am single and never married, If I had a GF/SO I wouldn't be doing this. I work alot and have very few opportunities to meet women or date. To me that is a real investment. To be fair, I don't think I am the same as a pimp because a pimp takes her money and makes her dependant on him and wants total ownership. When I get to see her it is not about me, it's about "us" until we have to leave eachother. I understand I may have a different way of thinking than most but in the end, what's wrong with it? I don't make demands on the women I get to see or really care much if she isn't at 100 percent because sometimes things happen.But I'm not a pushover by anymeans, (had enough of that with my ex, and won't go back to it.)I just want the woman I spend time with to enjoy our time together, and if nothing else walk away thinking to herself, "He was a nice guy." And if she didn't/couldn't find one thing about ME that she didn't like other than the dough, then I prefer we not see eachother because as hard as I may try, I can't shut my brain off from overthinking and rationalizing (due to that pretty much being my job,) but I am respectful, and if small talk comes up, it's usally about things that human beings talk about, I have been asked if I am married, and I have also been asked why I don't have a girlfriend. None of that is too personal to me and I answer, and then I ask questions of the same. But if she volunteers that she is single and doing this because she wants to and everything else then I believe that. I just don't see why lying about that is needed, BUT (this is where comfort level comes into play) that BF/SO could be a pimp with that title and then it would be an issue for you I suspect. But on the otherside of the coin if she starts out single and meets someone along the way somewhere who later becomes her B/F and is still seeing me then that's something different, and I could seriously see letting that slide if she was happy (interesting concept).
It is also like someone else said, If she does have a pimp then that is a potential threat because of so many scenarios I won't even get into...let's just say he doesnt actally have to be there to pose a threat. So I say deduct that part of the equation out all together and cast away all doubt. This may be "illusion" and "fantasy" but you are still dealing with real people so for some to put it out in the open that they have an open relationship would not be deal killer for most I would not think but if you say you are single and indy but have a pimp thats just red flag for me in my opinion....Im new and still learning. It's just my opinion though.

. . . . I am iffy on the BF/SO scenario as well . . . . That may sound close minded or judgemental but, it is what it is. . . . It has nothing to do with not respecting or not likeing her. But I think of it like this...

Why hide it? Why lie about it, if it isn't that big of a deal to some? . . . I imagine there would be guys who would not care right?...so why hide it in the first place? Is it the stigma, or something else?.. As for me it's also about the deception. But you can only keep a lie up for so long. I would have a TON of respect for her to just tell me the truth. That could go a long way, but... Originally Posted by B.Wayne

You're "all over the place" in your explanation of your thoughts on the matter!*You basically admit to being "close minded & judgemental" about the BF/SO scenario... but yet, you expect her to be openly forthcoming.... then you ask, "why hide it"?
C'mon man... you can't have it both ways!*Apparently, it is a big deal to some!!*Although, being a married hobbyist never even enters the conversation!!

I may be the board cynic, but I believe a lot of the guys are naive. . . . . Originally Posted by FlectiNonFrangi

WORD !! So naive, in many ways!!

To me, the Hobby is about having fun. I do not concern myself with my ATF's persoanal life. In fact, it is none of my business, just as my personal life is none of Hers.

What I do care about is Her giving me her 100 percent when we are together. That is what I pay for. Originally Posted by Jackie S

There's a man who has his hobby priorities straight!

Double Standards appear to be the norm amongst many, here...

Just a thought here, Why would your ATF feel the need to have a pimp around when seeing a regular client? Being an ATF means there is some history that should make her comfortable.

The post I wrote under that explained I was not trying to come off as close minded or judgemental, BUT if you mean by me writing "it is what it is" then that pretty much gives you freedom to take it however you want to. So if you want to take it that way have at it, if not fine...either way.

If you read earlier, I posted that I "Definately would NOT" see a girl who was later found to have a pimp. You are correct it IS a big deal to some, othewise I don't think this thread would exist. I don't remember writing that "I expect her to be openly forthcoming"
Being that it's written repeatedly on this site that it's all illusion and fantasy.....then I CAN have it both ways ......and 69 ways and K9 ways, and surfboard ways and sideways..you get the idea.

You know TonyT I was thinking the same thing....

WOW, Reading this has really shocked me to how much double standards are coming into play here.....Lets me say this to the Hobbyest "Are providers the ONLY women YOU have sex with?", then why should us providers ONLY have sex with clients?? Do we not have the right to have a personal and private life outside of work?? I enjoy sex, and in my off time I enjoy sex with whom I please, doing what I please. When I am with a client then it is ALL about his needs and wants. As long as I am giving you 100% of my attention when we are together, then does it really matter what/whom I do outside of work?

Were not talking you having sex with a friend or boyfriend here. We are talking about someone thats pimping you out. Yes it does matter to me because I don't agree with the idea of a pimp. If you are going to make a living escorting then you are doing the work not him. Get real. There are leaches like pimps in all walks of life not just your profession and I can't stand them either.

As far as the the BF/Manager angle, it goes back to how did she meet him, can he finanically support himself, does he tell her to go work that moneymaker, and does he take all her money. A true BF/SO would not be dependent on her, does accept her for what she does to make money, and never ever travel with her to her incall or outcall even if she was going somewhere nice out of state. Originally Posted by shorty

Just how are you going to know all that info in the first sentence?

As for the second one I would agree with you except for the last part. If she's going out of state or even town, I don't think there is a reason for him not to go with her instead of traveling by herself. Just imho

On a another note, what about drivers? I have driven provider friends of mine to do outcalls before and I am neither their pimp or so, Just doing someone a favor that had car problem, didn't drive at night and a whole bunch of other reasons. Anytime I did this I would suggest to them that they tell the person they are seeing that they have a driver. I never hung around, just went somewhere to waste time until she called...

And to answer the question, if I knew she was being pimped out, used and/or abused, I would see what I could do to help her out of that situation if she were willing...

As stated by others, if it is a BF or SO, not an issue, but if a pimp, I would not have a session with her again. I would have to have the information from a very reliable source and then I would talk to my ATF about the allegation. Just some random joe posting or sending me some message will not be enough for me.

If you found out your ATF had a pimp, would you continue to see her.

Let's says she is independent an advertises as such.........she never give an hint or reason that she might have a pimp in any capacity. The sessions have been all great. And you never see or hear from him on multiple occasions when you have met her

But later it is brought to you attention that she is pimped and is in fact part of a stable. Would you continue to see her. Explain why. Originally Posted by gimme_that

Many girls claim to be independent and many of them may not have a 'professional pimp' with a stable of girls, but they have a husband or boyfriend who lives off their earnings and that to me is the same thing as a pimp. At the brothel I worked at briefly, nearly ALL the girls were open about their pimps, whose names were tattooed on their girls. One of the guys had five girls he rotated to different brothels. He was raking in the bucks. The girls would immediately wire them their earnings. It was just sad to me to see that. They actually liked the idea of being the guy's property.

Interesting conversation.

I generally agree with the view that a BF/SO is a huge difference from a pimp. Even if a lady is supporting a guy, that does not make him a pimp—I work with several ladies who make significantly more than their SOs and essentially the lady keeps the family in the black. The difference is control. So long as the lady decides who to see, under what conditions, etc., then I would not say she is an independent. Who lives off her earnings is not a litmus test for pimpdom. If it was, every lady who is a single mom would be classified as being pimped.

But back to the original question: I am sure I have seen some ladies who had a pimp in the background. In fact there are a few I did not go back to see because I suspected exactly that. I never saw “him”, she never mentioned him, but it comes across in their words and actions. I admit it is not definitive after a single meeting or two, but the question was about an ATF—not a casual session. Maybe it’s my mindset, but no lady is an ATF for me based upon one or two sessions. Any lady who would come close to being an ATF is someone I know enough about—and have spent enough time with on and off the clock—in person and via phone/e-mail—that I know with near certainty what her situation is.

My ATF did have a BF (he died). The second favorite lady did too, and when he tried strong arming her she dumped him. For me the kind of person who feels they need a pimp is not the kind of lady I would move past the casual stage with and get close to ATF status. I can see if happening with others who define ATF differently.

pay to take his place or be 2nd or 3rd in line. its just a woman i want that much

OMG! You would turn down Shayla! I bet she doesn't get turned down very often or even at all. Needless to say, if Shayla did want that 3some, I would be glad to take your place free of charge. Originally Posted by shorty

bring him along to buffalo and i will treat him to chicen wings and canadian beer after i have thoroghly enjoyed his woman

Most everyone here knows I have an SO{for 30 years}.............he actually does mfm sessions with me....he helps host if I have a gb....he comes to the nola m& g's.....etc

{we are in the lifestyle and have an "open minded relationship"}....and I do this cause I want to do this!!!!

{My repeat clients know about him and it does not alter their opinion of me................if a clients has a problem with it,then just pass me by and see some other provider} Originally Posted by DallasRain

Just a thought here, Why would your ATF feel the need to have a pimp around when seeing a regular client? Being an ATF means there is some history that should make her comfortable. Originally Posted by tonytiger4u

I have had seemingly otherwise sane girls let it slip that it is considered a badge of honor to have a pimp, and they like the idea. A lot of them are insecure and were brought into this world by a user. You all can dance around terminology, but the correct term is PIMP. I am not talking all of the girls because I know girls who own 2 houses, and are totally pimpless. The smart girls can make a ton of money, but a lot of the girls were taken advantage of at a very early age. I know I canot undo the damage, and I am part of the problem, not part of the solution, but I see things as they really are.

Did anyone maybe think to factor age into this equation too. Providers like Dallas and her relationshi with her husband are an exception an different. For the most part I'm figuring ladies who are mature 40 years old an older it only a natural progression for them to have a stable relationship established at that age. In fact if for some reason they didn't that's cool, but it would make me wonder a bit more than if a lady in her early twenties said she currrently wasn't dating or pimped.

I think this situation would mostly involve women who are much younger and impressionable for the pimp angle.......we can almost assume the lady who is more mature will be smart enough to not place herself in that position. Maybe the bf/manager option yes........but pimp at 40 years old or above. Not so much........

Did anyone maybe think to factor age into this equation too. Providers like Dallas and her relationshi with her husband are an exception an different. For the most part I'm figuring ladies who are mature 40 years old an older it only a natural progression for them to have a stable relationship established at that age. In fact if for some reason they didn't that's cool, but it would make me wonder a bit more than if a lady in her early twenties said she currrently wasn't dating or pimped.

....... Originally Posted by gimme_that

great point!


My SO worked over 60 to 70 hrs a week for most of our time together....Now he is "retired with investments"........this line of work was MY choice!

This life offords us the opportunity to travel occassionally.....and also its a nice little "extra income" to go with his "investment income",affording us a nice little life!

PLUS we are in this together at times for the "added lifestyle type" fun we happen to encounter!
{example} We had a foursome session with an eccie member and his girlfriend saturday evening..............we got paid to have some fun we would have had in our "swing lifestyle" anyways!!}




Thanks Petite,we might just do that!