Bid Daddy

*
*I suggest finding a place that offers your 1st stage of therapy with a 7 month class called "Dialectical Behavior Therapy".
**If that person is ready for that life they have always day dreamed about, then they are finally strong enough and courageous enough to embark on one of the most difficult journeys of their entire lives, but the rewards are sooo very very SWEET!!!
***If anyone out there is in need of help (guy or girl sexually abused as a child), is finally ready to get help and willing to do whatever it takes to make their LIFE Peaceful and Happy....then please feel free to PM me anytime. I have resources to get you headed in the right direction (I do not need to know any personal info about you, so you can remain anonymous if you prefer). Someone out there may read this, and because of this thread, they will finally get the opportunity to HEAL!! Sometimes it is just the right time to go from Victim to SURVIVOR!!! ***

On A Side Note: Please know I am not saying change your life completely. I am not saying quit your job, get rid of everyone in your life, become a completely different person than you know, nothing so radical that you are completely overwhelmed. This is just about facing and dealing with your feelings and issues of the abuse. Making a lot of little changes as well as some big changes in your life that help you to become a better You! Fine tweaking of some things that allow you to be the person you were always meant to be, as well as experiencing the awesome benefits of Peace and Happiness. Originally Posted by BottomlessFilth

Now that is news we can use. Nice post my fellow human (I don't know your sex )

I hope that if there is anyone out there feeling the need that they do as BottomlessFilth suggested and contact help. There is plenty of real love out there, all you need is a push in the right direction.

I feel like a sexual abuse version of Driving Miss Daisy coming on!

WTF you have more patience than I if you are willing to read all that gibberish without proper spacing between thoughts/paragraphs etc.

*The statistics are 1 in 4 girls have been sexually abused before age 18, 1 in 7 boys before age 18.
*A lot of girls who have been sexually abused as children wind up in jobs related to the sex industry (porn stars, prostitutes, strippers) and will also be abusers of alcohol and/or drugs and will have a lot of abusive/codependent relationships Originally Posted by BottomlessFilth

As much as you've provided a bunch of numbers, they don't make sense.

If a "lot" (what is a lot? 75%?) wind up in the sex industry and if 25% of girls are sexually abused before the age of 18 and that’s 19% of the entire female population. Not counting those abused after the age of 18.

Presumably not all women working in the sex industry have been abused (at least based on posters on this board) so what's the ratio. Even if 80% of the women in the industry were abused we are now up to 24%.

Conservatively 24% of the female population is engaged in sex work? Seems magnitudes high.

The only numbers I have seen would put the number more in the range of 1%. I seem to recall numbers of about 400,000 sex workers in Germany (where it is legal), a US number I recall (and I don’t know why) was 23/100,000.
In any case way less than the numbers in the argument here.

WTF you have more patience than I if you are willing to read all that gibberish without proper spacing between thoughts/paragraphs etc. Originally Posted by atlcomedy

Daisy Werthan: Did you have the air-conditioning checked? I told you to have the air-conditioning checked.
Hoke Colburn: I had the air-conditioning checked. I don't know what for. You never allow me to turn it on.
Daisy Werthan: Hush up!

[ ... ] *BUT worse yet are the Long Term Adult Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse
*A lot of girls who have been sexually abused as children wind up in jobs related to the sex industry (porn stars, prostitutes, strippers) and will also be abusers of alcohol and/or drugs and will have a lot of abusive/codependent relationships
*A lot of girls who have been sexually abused as children will somehow inadvertently attract a predator who will re-victimize them over and over again as well as going as far as that predator seeking out single moms so he can abuse their children
*A LOT of the time, it is their dad, the very person that is supposed to set the ground work & foundation for a daughter to learn, know and trust the world in an appropriate way, but when a father steals that from a daughter more often than not her trust in men as well as just any adult person goes from about 0 to -10 leaving her unable to trust anyone because there was no concrete foundation slab poured & set early on in her upbringing. The world is a very cold place when you only know to trust yourself!
*Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: When a child is sexually abused they never feel or learn how to achieve that need for SAFETY, leaving that child almost defenseless to the world as they grow into adulthood.
*Their lives are very chaotic, always in ruins, one catastrophe after another, unmeasurable amounts of disappointments and continual abuse by others, not happy, not peaceful, drug/alcohol/sex addictions helps them escape, very sad world filled with a lot of anger and hatred to the world, men or anything or anyone that resurfaces an old memory of the abuse
*Most will have little to no memories until they reach into their 30s-40s, where the mind some how kind of deprograms itself allowing the person to remember details.
*Without proper treatment, nothing will ever get better for them.
*Treatment is hard work, very painful, super uncomfortable, extremely sad, brings up a lot of unwanted/uncomfortable feelings, brings up a lot of anger and resentment, a time where you weed through the people in your life deciphering who stays & who goes, it is a Healing Journey.
*It is the ONLY way to HEAL!!![ ... ] Originally Posted by BottomlessFilth

I respectfully, but strongly, disagree with the above points, as well as the phrase "a lot".

What is "a lot"?

There are other ways to heal and it's my experience that "a lot" of abused children do NOT go into sex industry jobs NOR are their lives "ALWAYS IN RUINS".

People will believe what they want to believe; there are always those that take what they read or see (so-called statistics, newspaper articles, television documentaries, books) as gospel when many times the facts and stats have been skewed to fit the author's narrow-minded view, to titillate or to make money.

Unless you KNOW or have BEEN in the situation, don't spout off "statistics" about something you know nothing about, thereby perpetuating some outright untruths or worse, taking hope away from someone who's been abused.

B.

To the Last Few Posts concerning my statistics being incorrect, gibberish thoughts without proper spacing/paragraphs, spouting out things I do not know or have not been in that situation:

Respectfully to you all...
I KNOW what I wrote. It is the TRUTH. Sadly, Unfortunately, Unbelievably and Devastatingly.....I am a SURVIVOR.

Therapy for me has taken away my constant anger and irritability. I was always a good person, good soul, but now I am a Great person! People around me like me even more now because of my changes. They are all so amazed at the improvements that therapy has helped me find. My life is already 100% better, more worthwhile, more fun, less stressful and overwhelming and filled with so much Peace and Happiness that I could never get my hands wrapped around before therapy. For me, therapy is working. For my group, I can see their lives changing for the better every week I see them. Therapy does work. That was my only point to the thread. Get some help...if this is you (victim of childhood sexual abuse). If not, keep your eyes/ears open, and help someone if you see a need.

As part of my therapy contract, there is a section that says as we are getting help we should also lend a hand to help others if they are in need. I was directed to this thread from a fellow friend on this board who knows what I am going through since I have been in therapy. Felt like there was a reason to type what I wrote, helping others and/or personal healing.

I never read/post in any areas on this board except for my home town of Kansas City. Because of that you don't know me very well at all.

Yes, I am a girl. I live in Kansas City. I am addicted to exercise/vitamins/being healthy LOL. I love Sports (mainly Football>Cowboys)! I love animals! I love people! I love nature! I LOVE to LAUGH!!! I Love anything FUN!!!

I am also still and will mostly likely always be, a very sexually twisted girl. Kind of one of my areas I am not sure if I want to change or not through therapy. Managed properly, I think it is something I want to hang on to forever!

I try to be the best person I can be each and every day. I am a genuinely kindhearted and helpful individual. I get stomped on a lot for making my goal to be a great soul. However, I keep getting up, brushing the dirt off and keep on marching to my own beat of my drums. Life is a journey, one that should be filled with meaning, happiness and peace. Yes, I am a silly new age hippie chic, but everyone who I come in contact with knows that I am trustworthy and a great person/soul. If you knew me you would know that material wealth is not what I seek, but only Peace and Happiness!

It took a lot of Strength and Courage for me to make that post yesterday.
It took even greater Strength and Courage for me to make this post today!!!

I hope that wherever you are located on planet Earth, that you find something great to smile about today making your day a very Happy Day!!!

To the Last Few Posts concerning my statistics being incorrect, gibberish thoughts without proper spacing/paragraphs, spouting out things I do not know or have not been in that situation:



It took a lot of Strength and Courage for me to make that post yesterday.
It took even greater Strength and Courage for me to make this post today!!!

I hope that wherever you are located on planet Earth, that you find something great to smile about today making your day a very Happy Day!!! Originally Posted by BottomlessFilth

I'm glad you got the help you need. That doesn't mean you get a pass from criticism.

I'm glad you got the help you need. That doesn't mean you get a pass from criticism. Originally Posted by atlcomedy

Word.

LOL True. Way I see it is if I am strong enough to tell a ton of people I am a Survivor then I think I can take a lil criticism. As my boss always says, "It's All Good!"

LOL True. Way I see it is if I am strong enough to tell a ton of people I am a Survivor then I think I can take a lil criticism. As my boss always says, "It's All Good!" Originally Posted by BottomlessFilth

Absolutely!!
I have nothing but the most respect and support for you as an individual. It is an extremely difficult process to go through and good for you for accomplishing it.
The quibble is your use of math and statistics
Which by the way takes nothing away from you personal success.

Unless you KNOW or have BEEN in the situation, don't spout off "statistics" about something you know nothing about, thereby perpetuating some outright untruths or worse, taking hope away from someone who's been abused.

B. Originally Posted by Bella_HHD

How was her post in any way taking away hope?

If you knew me you would know that material wealth is not what I seek, but only Peace and Happiness!

It took a lot of Strength and Courage for me to make that post yesterday.
It took even greater Strength and Courage for me to make this post today!!!

I hope that wherever you are located on planet Earth, that you find something great to smile about today making your day a very Happy Day!!! Originally Posted by BottomlessFilth

You go girlfriend....I got ya back!

Be nice people, this chick is speaking from the heart. (I have a speaking from the heart-o-meter, so don't go there)

She might not be speaking to you but there might just be one person out there that needs to hear what she is offering. Let's show her that we are a loving group that welcome competing ideas.

Fuc, I'm out of Dr Phil advice for the month and now Gandhi !

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.
Mohandas Gandhi

Absolutely!!
I have nothing but the most respect and support for you as an individual. It is an extremely difficult process to go through and good for you for accomplishing it.
The quibble is your use of math and statistics
Which by the way takes nothing away from you personal success. Originally Posted by terbul

Finally we agree....Yea!

LOL True. Way I see it is if I am strong enough to tell a ton of people I am a Survivor then I think I can take a lil criticism. As my boss always says, "It's All Good!" Originally Posted by BottomlessFilth

Now that is the way to respond to criticism. I'm taking notes....especially on the freaky get your love groove on, I don't wanna change a thing philosophy! Tell me more

Give that keyboard back to WTF right now!!!

Give that keyboard back to WTF right now!!!

Originally Posted by terbul

You cats painted me in a corner and then only saw what ya wanted to see!

So, "It's all good, terbul!"
Opps, I sound like BottomlessFilth boss.

I don't like the word boss...how about mentor?

To the Last Few Posts concerning my statistics being incorrect, gibberish thoughts without proper spacing/paragraphs, spouting out things I do not know or have not been in that situation:

Respectfully to you all...
I KNOW what I wrote. It is the TRUTH. Sadly, Unfortunately, Unbelievably and Devastatingly.....I am a SURVIVOR.

[ ... ]

Originally Posted by BottomlessFilth

This is what worked for you and I am so glad it did, BF, (though I DO wonder about your moniker?) YOUR truth is not MY truth and likely not thousands of others' truth.

I too am a survivor, though I don't know how, and I thank God every day that I turned out normal (whatever the frig THAT is) and that most of what you cited in your earlier email didn't apply to me.

Multiple abusers, YEARS of abuse. Also, horrible physical and mental abuse. None of it forgotten. Not a drug, alcohol or sex addict (well, except with the hub of 23 yrs ). I have a wonderful HAPPY fulfilled life that I would go back and endure my childhood all over again to be a part of today.

As a survivor, BF, don't you think you have a duty NOT to post absolutes? Not to say that YOUR way is the only way to survival, the only way to heal?

No criticism here, or at least not much. Just a gentle reminder that YOUR way is not the ONLY way.

No criticism here, or at least not much. Just a gentle reminder that YOUR way is not the ONLY way. Originally Posted by Bella_HHD

Can't argue with that BF.

Nice point Bella

, (though I DO wonder about your moniker?) . Originally Posted by Bella_HHD

I love it!....takes the power away from people that think words can harm ya.