Funniest/Most Awkward Hobby Moment? (Again)

@SpiceItUp - ROFL!!!! That shit is crazy, sounds like a deleted scene from "Deuce Biggalow",I wonder how that would work in K9?

An awkward situation that I would like to encounter someday:

I scan Back Page and call a few Latinas to set up something . . .get it narrowed down to one who can see me where I want to be at the donation I'm willing to pay.Knowing full well that any BP provider may not match the picture, I go ahead anyway.

Get a room at a fine hospitality provider whose corporate name ends in a numeral, or "Inn".

She knocks, I open . . .and its my daughter-in-law's kid sister whose 18th birthday was last month!

Dunno what happems next, but thats as aukward as I can imagine right now.

@ VictoriaoH- "GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!"......LOFL!!!! Originally Posted by Rborgia6

Hee hee, yes, it made me laugh some of the most I ever have in a session.

I remember this one time in band camp....Long time ago (10+yrs) my cousin and I weren't having any luck,so we cruised through the 44(Acres Home) and spotted a SW(40ish thin,smoker)she was hesitant at first, there being two of us and all. But she finally agreed and had us pull in the drive of a small 10-20 unit apt. building, my cuz went first as I sat on the step side of the truck bed. It rocked back and forth,the sound of flesh smacking and some moans from her for a good 10 min or so. My turn! I sat in the driver seat and she sucked it for a few min then on with the hat,I slid over so she could ride comfortably without the steering wheel bothering her (I was fatter back then). I wanted to get on top and pound away,her riding wasn't doing it for me,so I go to switch and she's like"whoa big boy I don't think you can,uh,ah,oh",I damn near flattened her. So I start pounding away,cool,than she says" oh yea,come on you chubby motherfucker you get that pussy!!!" LOL!!! Okay, so I keep going then she starts to tell me how she was gonna use the money to buy her grand babies McD's in the morning......?!?!?.... I just looked at her like "WTF did you just say?",so I put my hand over her mouth and pounded harder, I think she got the message after that.

Poor virgin was so timid. Was trying to make him laugh. Loosen up. So he touches my nipple very softly. And I say, "You cant touch me there, youre not my real Dad.". His face went deathly white and I had to explain my Daddy never touched me in my bad place. Took a few minutes to recover. Was smooth like chunky peanut butter. Think Ive learned to not joke with the newbies.

Poor virgin was so timid. Was trying to make him laugh. Loosen up. So he touches my nipple very softly. And I say, "You cant touch me there, youre not my real Dad.". His face went deathly white and I had to explain my Daddy never touched me in my bad place. Took a few minutes to recover. Was smooth like chunky peanut butter. Think Ive learned to not joke with the newbies. Originally Posted by Sonya

Bad, bad Sonya... haha

This is good to know. I learned something new today, lol.

Guy musta had some other issues then, hence not telling me to begin with. Well, he said he was happy and satisfied, so I guess that is all that matters, lol. Originally Posted by Victoria of Houston

I have seen zero difference from before my V....everything is exactly the same...

I was doing a doubles once and lol I assume the other chick was trying to challenge mY oral skills and she scraped the guys penis with her teeth and blood started gushing everywhere. It was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened during a session before. I never seen so much blood in my life , the bathroom floor was covered completely in blood. Omg my stomach is turning now with just the thought of it Originally Posted by Super Head 713

HOLY SHIT!!!! Originally Posted by Victoria of Houston

Poor virgin was so timid. Was trying to make him laugh. Loosen up. So he touches my nipple very softly. And I say, "You cant touch me there, youre not my real Dad.". His face went deathly white and I had to explain my Daddy never touched me in my bad place. Took a few minutes to recover. Was smooth like chunky peanut butter. Think Ive learned to not joke with the newbies. Originally Posted by Sonya

LOFL!!!! Was he really a virgin or virgin hobbyist? ...... I would've gotten an instant boner hearing that kinky shit....."who's your daddy?!?!" LOL

..... if anything, the volume increased after having it performed. Originally Posted by Russ38

Russ .... you were probably just holding back before .... fearing the number of babies that could be created by the swimmers. Now ... you're just letting her rip without fear.

I have seen zero difference from before my V....everything is exactly the same... Originally Posted by SNL9933

Maybe in January i go see my doctor about it.. I've had this fear one of the clamps didn't hold and I'm back dumping semen into my scrotum.

Dr Pol on Nat Geo can fix that up in mere seconds.

Russ .... you were probably just holding back before .... fearing the number of babies that could be created by the swimmers. Now ... you're just letting her rip without fear. Originally Posted by GlobeSpotter

Possibly so GS....the last thing the world needs is more offspring created by me....

Sonya, Ask Stella about the time she electrocuted my nuts so bad (not a requested activity) that a circuit breaker blew and all the lights went out. 3 naked people, the one with nuts still wincing, fumbling around in the dark trying to find the breaker panel.

Sonya, Ask Stella about the time she electrocuted my nuts so bad (not a requested activity) that a circuit breaker blew and all the lights went out. 3 naked people, the one with nuts still wincing, fumbling around in the dark trying to find the breaker panel. Originally Posted by Sjc21108

Lol ask her about how i broke her Hitachi. Was cumming while it started smoking and sparking. Heehee I got mine though.

Poor virgin was so timid. Was trying to make him laugh. Loosen up. So he touches my nipple very softly. And I say, "You cant touch me there, youre not my real Dad.". His face went deathly white and I had to explain my Daddy never touched me in my bad place. Took a few minutes to recover. Was smooth like chunky peanut butter. Think Ive learned to not joke with the newbies. Originally Posted by Sonya

This is badass....I like your sense of humor.