So you want to hang out with or date a provider?

I took it as... We give 100% at work and have nothing left for an SO at home. It's terribly unfair to a companion.

There is a lady that I have met lately that has a ton in common with me. If we met outside the hobby I would be walking on air... Since that wasn't the case, I know that I would never be able to handle her profession because I'm actually a pretty monogomous person (I only do this when not dating). That being said, I would never ask her to quit because I don't have that right. Originally Posted by CoHorn

+1

What if the guy in question really doesn't want to "date" or "hang out" with a provider, but just wants to fuck her for free? Do the same rules apply then? Originally Posted by TexTushHog

That's a pretty selfish thing to say considering you know you make enough money to pay for your encounters, councilor.

2. Free sex is never free. Your gonna pay for it someway someday. Longer than an hour is called being your wife. You see where this one goes.


6. Don't expect a provider to believe you when you tell her you just want to hang out and kick it. To us all we hear when say that is you're broke.

7. Please believe that you are going to have to work harder to see a provider naked on her own time. Than you do getting screened and scheduling as a newbie. Originally Posted by JacquelineWhatever

TexasTush please refer to these three scenario's described in regards to your question.

This thread was to do just this. Start a great hobby life discussion. Being single in this world is hard. Being single and a provider isn't any harder. Just different. Dating sucks regardless of what you do for a living. Despite what anyones occupation is I don't believe chilvery is dead. But have figured out common sense and common courtesy are not so common anymore. That's why we are all apart of an uncommon community here. Despite differences of opinion we most of the time are courteous in our responses. Most of the discussions are about having the sense to stay safe and communicate. In what is considered to go against the standard of society.

In other threads, I've talked about my experiences with a provider GF -------

As to hanging out with a provider --- I am reminded of a time in Dallas this past December. I set up a date with a very well-known eccie lady, passed her screening. We met at her incall only to immediately leave for our date. I paid her 2-hour rate and ended up spending 3 hours.

We went to the mall, ate at the food court, visited and continued on our specific quest. We ended up going a couple of places and fulfilled what I wanted to do. I wanted her to be part of it with me, and our time was something I thought she would enjoy. It was refreshing for me to spend time with a lady out and about. We acted like long time BF/GF.

No, curious minds, we did not participate in bcd activities. Yes, I wanted to because she is very sexy and sensual, but i didn't.

We did kiss, we held hands some, but the object of our date was to focus on something else while spending time together. I have a fantastic memory that I'll always remember. I hope she feels the same.

So, yes, we hung out together and I loved it. I hope to make it an annual tradition with her. More often, if I can get to Dallas.

She is a very special lady.

I do have a number of stripper and provider friends I hang out with from time to time. Some I have known for years. Some I have slept with, some I have not. I have found most of these ladies to be very smart at spotting a faker. We treat each other like what we are. Friends and normal people. The fact I see them naked sometimes just means I have to be aware and treat them as normal folks when they are not working. It actulay took some pratice and effort for me to learn how to seperate the 2 parts of their lives. We do talk about work form time to time, but its just normal work talk.

At my age, weight, and disposition ... the idea of a gf/provider is unattainable. I'll settle for the gfe. In fact, I love the gfe and am grateful to the lovely ladies who can really deliver it for me.

In the hypothetical ... when I'm involved with a lady, I want her to live her life and I want to share that. I want her to be happy, successful, and safe. So .. would she continue to provide? Yes, if that what she wants.

Would I continue to hobby? Might depend on her ... but if I don't, I'd appreciate it if she could see her way to bring home a friend, now and then. But ... we are in the land of the hypothetical ... of course ... there's a lot of that in the hobby.

sorry, got overruled again.

I can say that when I get back to Dallas, I'll be moving in with a great and good friend who also happens to be a seriously UTR provider and while I have shared her bed from time to time, not always (or even usually) for sex, it will be a three bedroom but it has been made clear my room won't see much use except for storage.

And I can talk about L-M, who was a dancer I was actually engaged to for a while. I used to love (although my liver probably didn't) going to see her at work, where I would also sometimes get dances from other girls. But our attitude was "Yeah, enjoy it now -- but guess who he/she is going to be waking up next to in the morning?"

Final point: I've also been on the other side of this -- my ex, who I met in a flippin' acting class, ended our marriage of 13 years over deciding that the possibility that I might kiss a female actor on stage meant I was cheating.

it goes back to how confident you are about yourself, your friend/partner/lover/SO, your relationship.

if the two of can live with the other person doing what they do, whether that be skydiving, making tons of money as a stockbroker, being a film critic, owning a business, providing, or hobbying, then more power to you.

i'm a pretty accepting person. if my SO and i made a commitment to each other and set out the boundaries, as long as we were not screwing the other person around or doing bad things to people, i could see myself in a relationship w/ a provider.

but it would take more than a few "dates" before i felt like i could even think about making a relationship with her. it would take plenty of months and plenty of heart-to-hearts to decide if we could get along, have similar goals, enjoyed doing similar things.

to jump in otherwise might be like going down a Class IV river w/ only an inner tube - possibly but probably not lots of fun.

and to say it cant happen if ignoring that there are some people who have done it and some who are still together today. i'd just have to find one couple to prove that point.

as just bieber might sing "never say never" :^)

Yea I wanted to argue about the hanging out one. I dont believe that is necessarily true but then again I'm not like most providers. I actually Enjoy hanging out with my clients and being "friends" it's not just about the money nor the sex for me. I like finding out what a client's personality is like and discussing anything and everything from politics, to religion, to my personal favorite business. So I dont think it's fair to assume just because a client wants to "hang out" that they are broke and dont want to pay...

It's all about the people involved whether hobbyist or provider. Attractions do happen when you have many things in common and truly do enjoy each others' company, and not just for the sex.

Yes, a personal relationship between the two would not be easy simply due to what both of you are doing or have done in the past. Really depends on the inner strength of both parties as to whether or not it would work in the long run.

I have know a few couples in the past who met thru the hobby and formed lasting personal relationships. But unfortunately, they are the exception, not the rule. Can happen, but is rare indeed.

Been there, done that........NEVER, EVER again! Originally Posted by Lana Warren

And we were getting to be so close!

And we were getting to be so close! Originally Posted by Txn5inThick

Oh, shut up! You know damn well that WE are!

it goes back to how confident you are about yourself, your friend/partner/lover/SO, your relationship.

if the two of can live with the other person doing what they do, whether that be skydiving, making tons of money as a stockbroker, being a film critic, owning a business, providing, or hobbying, then more power to you.

i'm a pretty accepting person. if my SO and i made a commitment to each other and set out the boundaries, as long as we were not screwing the other person around or doing bad things to people, i could see myself in a relationship w/ a provider.

but it would take more than a few "dates" before i felt like i could even think about making a relationship with her. it would take plenty of months and plenty of heart-to-hearts to decide if we could get along, have similar goals, enjoyed doing similar things.

to jump in otherwise might be like going down a Class IV river w/ only an inner tube - possibly but probably not lots of fun.

and to say it cant happen if ignoring that there are some people who have done it and some who are still together today. i'd just have to find one couple to prove that point.

as just bieber might sing "never say never" :^) Originally Posted by pmdelites

+10000

A (fiancée, for those who haven't been keeping score) and D (the provider, dur) and I have spent many a day-into-night sitting on the floor, first getting to know each other (knew D long before I had met A), then a ¿4? day non-stop weekend discussing boundaries if the move was made.

It helps that my girls are also enormously attracted to each other and very willing to share, but the key is, as I have said many times, communication. I fully expect there to be issues crop up when it happens, but everyone has committed to ***talking about it*** when they do. None of us are jealous types (tho that copy of "The Lorena Bobbitt Story" that my ex-wife gave A Xmas-before-last seems to be more well thumbed now that it lives in D's bathroom with whatever *I'm* reading at the time), and agree that jealousy and love are mutually exclusive, since the latter is based on trust, and the former on a lack thereof.

Not sure if I'm I'm entirely comfortable with them referring to themselves as my "harem," but I think I might get to like it

Definitely agree that having confidence in the relationship, how ever many partners there are, is necessary -- but that's true of any relationship, regardless of any job choices that may have been made.

Again, I have a bit different perspective, and YMMV.

+1


That's a pretty selfish thing to say considering you know you make enough money to pay for your encounters, councilor. Originally Posted by DFW5Traveler

In no way did he say that was his personal MO...

guess so jesse!