Should I stay married or get divorced

Rezo's Avatar
  • Rezo
  • 12-07-2011, 12:30 AM
stay married.
aznlvr11's Avatar
Do you have kids? If so, this complicates things tremendously.
- We do have a beautiful 7 month old little girl
I can tell you from experience that divorce is a horrible experience. The fact that you have a child will make life hard on all 3 of you down the road.

What would you do if she were cheating on you?
- Honestly I'd be relieved. LOL! Easy to divorce then.
At some point in your relationship, your wife will cheat on you. It is only a matter of when. You've done it, you shouldn't hold her to a different standard.

Do you love her? Don't ever tell her you have been cheating.
- Yes, but I'm finding out more and more I don't love her as a partner, but more so as a good friend.
Good friends are hard to find.

Some things to think about.

The complication in all of this is that my family and her family are very anti-divorce, and the drama alone would create a head-ache for everyone.
Well, you can't please everybody, especially family. Your life, not theirs. Originally Posted by inmypants44
With that being said and all of the other advice given and some turds floated, since you've only been married 2 years and 9 months of that were spent with her pregnant, you haven't been through anything yet. I wouldn't wish divorce on anybody (well maybe a couple of people). If you care about your family, you should try to stick it out for a few years unless you can really say that you are not happy. Staying in an unhappy marriage just for the kid doesn't work either. The hardest part will be for your relationship with your child. If I knew back then what I know now, I would probably have been doing a lot of cheating, but may have been happier having my cake and eating it, too. It's a lot to think about.
Sarunga's Avatar
If the only reason you want to go thro' a divorce is because the sex is not full-filling, then I too would advice against it. Give her some time...and try to make her understand your needs. Communication is the most important aspect in any relationship. If she's a good friend to you as you say she is, she will realize how important it is to you.

I went thro' a divorce...a mutually agreed one...because of several reasons. Now, I'm happy I did. And, it wasn't a bad experience for me...in fact, we are still friends. However, we don't have any kids. That would have been a game-changer for me.

Also, I'm fundamentally against cheating (which includes hobbying) if I have a faithful, loving, and caring SO. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did.
strongbad's Avatar
I got divorced because I thought I wasn't happy. I now am miserable & wish I had stay'd married.
London Rayne's Avatar
I must say, I am truly impressed by most of the responses here. I was expecting more, "Kick that b*tch to the curb" replies.

OP, don't take offense but you seem a bit too immature to be in a marriage. I mean 2 years really and you're already looking for an out and with a brand new baby? Most men don't start cheating til the 15-20 year mark when the wife has cut them off for years. Not that it's any better, but damn dude man up!

I can tell you one thing...sex is not what you need to make you complete or even satisfied. As others have said, it's a temporary fix to what's really missing in your life. You may think it's sex, but I think you simply want a complete woman who excites you like the wife used to do. I am not for divorce but I am also not for cheating...yah, shocking!

What might be the bigger issue is what is missing in you. You could simply feel scared all of a sudden that your freedom is gone and you are questioning if this marriage and forever is for you. Sex with others may simply be a manifestation of those fears.

I would advise you try and really tell her what's going on. Is it HER you want to be different, or do you simply want to mess with another woman? You need to really search your soul on this one brother, because it just might be you are not ready to even be faithful to any woman and that's ok too. Just don't let your urges and emotions cause you to hurt those you love. Today we are the "right now" generation and we tend to walk away from things when they get hard rather than sticking with things. My parent's generation lived more by their decisions vs. their emotions thus the reason marriages lasted longer back then.

Ask for guidance from whomever you might pray to if you even do. Sometimes we all need a little help with our own emotions leading us. If you want to stop thinking about sex with other women, my best advice is to get off of the internet! If you are dead serious about working this out, you can't continue to put sexual images first or you won't ever escape them.

Best of luck to you. The guys here have been very forthcoming in advising you...truly a freaking shocker!
Wakeup's Avatar
Kick the bitch to the curb...
This is hilarious. PLEASE take advice from hookers, transvestites, cheaters and other of our collection of naughty and nasty people.
dearhunter's Avatar
I am waiting for some photos before I put the lid on this coffin.
bbkid's Avatar
  • bbkid
  • 12-07-2011, 09:33 AM
Kick the bitch to the curb... Originally Posted by Wakeuр
But, PM me her phone number first.
Jack Flash's Avatar
Maybe your wife needs a night out on the town with Wakeup, Dearhunter and Myself. She will come home and fuck you silly after hanging out with us ruthless ugly fuckers.
Abigail (Source of JOY)'s Avatar
Maybe your wife needs a night out on the town with Wakeup, Dearhunter and Myself. She will come home and fuck you silly after hanging out with us ruthless ugly fuckers. Originally Posted by Jack Flash
Maybe he asks equally annoying questions at home.... Maybe SHE is the one bored with the sex life.... I am thinking she might fancy a fuck with one of you three!!
TexasGator's Avatar
Kick the bitch to the curb... Originally Posted by Wakeuр
Any wonder why Wakeup is Dear Abby's go to guy when SHE needs advice?
Jack Flash's Avatar
Maybe he asks equally annoying questions at home.... Maybe SHE is the one bored with the sex life.... I am thinking she might fancy a fuck with one of you three!! Originally Posted by Abigail (Source of JOY)
Maybe she needs a threeway with me and you!
Today we are the "right now" generation and we tend to walk away from things when they get hard rather than sticking with things. My parent's generation lived more by their decisions vs. their emotions thus the reason marriages lasted longer back then. Originally Posted by London Rayne
Isn't that the truth..! Amen sister!
See I was the opposite. Didn't really want it while I was pregnant but afterwards! Could not get it enough. I think mine is still in overdrive to an extent! lol