In my late teen's - I'm a 2/29/xx person lol
My SO was never very interested and I had fallen in love (unknown to me) with a girl in a similar sexless marriage. When she broke it off, I I was pretty fucked up depressed for 3+ years and discovered 411, ECCIE etc around 2003 after seeing a girl from Adult Friendfinder who was an established provider and told me what I was missing out on...
Shared my choice with my SO in 2008 and after a few difficult months she stated
"I can't be what you need - so go ahead, just don't tell me about it" and I've been having fun 1-2 a month since then.