Interesting post TM. I'll say over the years, since 2003 or 2004 I believe I've observed much as the same as you but from the outside. Groups are what they are.... be it a tuperware party or a private pussy party.
In the end it comes down to several things, ones own acceptable risk tolerance and basic human relationship abilities/capabilities. I would toss in ones own self esteem as well on the point of control. I would venture many of the groups are there to exercise some influence, be it first crack at new talent or special rates etc. IF that occurs, its more associated with the naive new provider than johns with game.
Many a provider has shown over the years that quality service will win out in the end. Those who are consistent and talented will get theirs in the end. Those who don't will school together and take the protection that a group like that offers. Even that ends up culling the herd over time however.
So groups are not good or bad in and of themselves, but like any group, consist of good and bad members.
Point to the providers.... you can only be controlled or influenced as much as you allow yourself to be. Same goes with the Johns in the group. If you have the confidence in yourself and provide a good product or maintain a good customer relationship, things almost always work out in the long-run.
Over the years I've been invited to a few socials, a few beers etc. I've always turned them down as discretion and privacy are important to me. Some of the ones I would have accepted if my own tolerance was higher for that kind of thing since they seemed to be pleasant folks with similar tastes etc. A few I would never want to be around... for any number of reasons.
Anyway.... the drama has been on overload around here the last year or so. Its been amusing, its been entertaining and its been astonishing at times. It never ends though and this place is like the never ending shrimp special..... they just keeping coming well after you have had your fill.
Thanks for an interesting read.... one of the few in recent memory.