Why does it have to be someone's loss?

Traci:

I never called your inquiry trivial, rather I stated "Sometimes, way too much thought is given to trivialities around here." There is a significant difference. But, in fairness to you, maybe i should have said "Sometimes, we're way too sensitive around here." I was referring to the trend of late to carp, complain, pile on and engage in frivolous he-said, she-said debates. It was intended as a generalization, my mistake for not clarifying.

You now as well as I do, that reading the printed word via internet and email allows for much personal interpretation, which is often misguided.

I don't expect anyone to agree with my opinions, since they are based on my own frame of reference formed over a lifetime of varied experiences.

No ill will generated on my part... Originally Posted by Tony Patella

Perhaps I did misinterpret your statement, and if that is the case, I sincerely apologize. Intent is definitely easy to misinterpret in written form. I agree that dog-piling and flame-fanning is tedious and somewhat out of control lately. I do not want this thread to turn into an example of such. I appreciate you responding maturely throughout this discussion even with a somewhat opposing view. Speaks volumes about your character.

Thanks for the nice compliment. Appreciate your candor and spirit.

And, by the way, your showcase is fabulous....and (he says humorously) it's clearly my loss that we've never met!

TP

I look at it as a way of making the rejected feel a little better about being rejected. It's not really anyone's loss, imo. Of course, this is speaking in general.

Thanks for the nice compliment. Appreciate your candor and spirit.

And, by the way, your showcase is fabulous....and (he says humorously) it's clearly my loss that we've never met!

TP

Haha. Thank you. I made it myself. :P

I look at it as a way of making the rejected feel a little better about being rejected. It's not really anyone's loss, imo. Of course, this is speaking in general.

This seems to be the general opinion, at least when being stated to (and not by) the rejected party. I can understand and even accept its use with this particular intent. Mostly.

Traci......I've always thought as you. I mean, it's kind of like, what's the point? No matter what the reason is for declining, if someone declines then it saves both sides what would probably be an otherwise unsatisfactory experience, so why compound it with rude remarks? I understand that someone might be disappointed, but I'd rather be disappointed than stupid.

Having said that, your obvious smarts coupled with your mouth watering ass has given me a boner that I now have to contend with, and he never listens to reason.

Traci......I've always thought as you. I mean, it's kind of like, what's the point? No matter what the reason is for declining, if someone declines then it saves both sides what would probably be an otherwise unsatisfactory experience, so why compound it with rude remarks? I understand that someone might be disappointed, but I'd rather be disappointed than stupid.

Having said that, your obvious smarts coupled with your mouth watering ass has given me a boner that I now have to contend with, and he never listens to reason. Originally Posted by Hugh Jardon

Haha. Thank you for the compliment. Glad I could get a "rise" out of you.

I'm glad to hear that there are some people who agree with and relate to my position. It helps me feel that I am not being completely unreasonable.

If shoes could talk, and during my introduction with a pair they looked at me and said "You know, I like you and all, but I really think I'd chaff your feet," I'd be relieved that I didn't buy that pair and learn that unfortunate fact afterwards. I'd thank them for their effort to save me some pain and money and move on to a more comfortable pair. :P Maybe not the best analogy, but when you mentioned shopping for shoes, that's what came to mind. LOL. Originally Posted by tracibrooks

Well, tb, that was just a shot in the dark....heh heh heh....hmmm, let's see - you are a woman, right? Bet some guys' ears perked up at the mention of a gas grille, too.

As far as actually giving an opinion on the topic of your thread goes: There's a bit too much giving of the benefit of the doubt (in a lot of the replies) to someone who says "it's your loss" and it's meaning being neutral. There are too many other ways to easily extract from hearing "no" other than that phrase. Though it is a common flip phrase, in this context I think it is a defensive move at best and, as you said, a passive/aggressive face-saving gesture at worst.

Well, tb, that was just a shot in the dark....heh heh heh....hmmm, let's see - you are a woman, right? Bet some guys' ears perked up at the mention of a gas grille, too.

As far as actually giving an opinion on the topic of your thread goes: There's a bit too much giving of the benefit of the doubt (in a lot of the replies) to someone who says "it's your loss" and it's meaning being neutral. There are too many other ways to easily extract from hearing "no" other than that phrase. Though it is a common flip phrase, in this context I think it is a defensive move at best and, as you said, a passive/aggressive face-saving gesture at worst. Originally Posted by Randy4Candy

I agree. There are much more tactful and polite ways to express a neutral parting sentiment, should that be the goal. I try to be very understanding of other people and always try to pause for a moment and see things from their perspective in any given situation, but uncalled-for rudeness is a tough one for me to swallow. (Queue easy joke re: swallowing) :P

I get rejected or no responses all the time, so what?
I don't ever feel like it's anybodies loss or whatever, some just need to grow a pair and move on.

interesting and please that this thread has so many followups!!

google searched "oh well, it's his loss." About 86,900 results
google searched "oh well, it's her loss." About 52,100 results
google searched "origin "Oh well, it's his loss."" 20,800 results
google searched "origin "Oh well, it's her loss."" 7 results :^(

i just completed some websearches and couldnt find an origin or meaning for it, tho' lots of uses.

it seems to be used to say that the other person lost out on a meaningful, rewarding, valuable, pleasurable, enjoyable, or <insertFavoriteTermHere> experience.
with a possible sub-text of "they are crazy, ignorant, arrogant, egotistical, or <insertFavoriteTermHere> to have not made this choice."

and how one responds to it does, in my opinion, say something about that person.


for all the posts linked below, search for or find "loss" on the page.

traci, this looks similar to your question...
http://nwso.net/2010/07/08/wife-material/

i wonder what the test for this answer key is all about??
http://www.us.oup.com/eltnew/catalog...tkey.pdf?cc=qa

spikebaby might like this one...
http://verybadmonkeys.blogspot.com/2...e361cf86d1f369

shyster jon might like this one...
http://www.seekingarrangement.com/blog/?p=200

Traci,

You, & Hugh, have a good point, in theory. But we are talking about humans & human individual differences. Ultimately the discussion is about rejection and how an individual reacts to it. No one likes rejection, and few handle it well.

A Client researches a lady and makes a selection based on his likes and wants. Mostly physical, but some of us get turned on by "grammar Nazis". . He's horny an believes he will have a good time. Now take the provider, yes the guy looks good on paper, good refs and all, but there is something not quite right. No matter the reason, age, activities, board presence, clown suits, whatever, she turns him down with the, "I don't think we'll be a good match..." The thing is, he doesn't know what she does, no objective evidence to tell him his initial assumption that he'd have a good visit is wrong. Remember, his desires are mostly emotionally driven, so his reactions will be too. Few are able to step back, and fewer still to separate the analytical from the emotional. So what does he or his friends tell him? That the grapes were probably sour anyway.

Simple emotional self-defense.

Thank you for not turning me away.

The only time I've seen someone start a thread about "why won't a provider see me?" is not because they wanted to state "her loss anyway" (classic defense mechanism), but because the provider simply did not provide a reason for the denial, or even a simple curteous reply to his numerous requests........

All I can say is WOW!!!! Im happy to see someone touch this subject...... It is about time because I get this a lot and wondered why.... So for you to shed light on this it is a relief.

I get rejected or no responses all the time, so what?
I don't ever feel like it's anybodies loss or whatever, some just need to grow a pair and move on.

Lol. Thank you for that succinct and amusing response. I don't disagree.

pmdelites - Way to do some research! Your findings are interesting. I only got to check out the first link so far, but the post dealing with the phrase in question was really interesting and insightful. I will be sure to check out the other links as well. Appreciate the effort, and thanks for sharing.

DFK Hunter - I understand that my position on this may be more suited to a "perfect world," and that people have many different ways of dealing with different things. I find it interesting and entertaining to see all of the different opinions and theories. And for the record, you were never in danger of being turned away.

Traci, if you don't retire from the hobby right now and give in to all my sexual whims it'll be YOUR LOSS!!!