A moral dilemma: Bros before hoes

Lol..that cant be your friend if u have to ask

p.s u could send him a link to her profile anonymously
Let him play Columbo

I'm amused by the number of different definitions of taboos and levels of morality we all have within the same, shared, illicit hobby.

Don't you have a buddy with a birthday coming up soon? Buy him a present ands satisfy your curiosity, Enquiring minds want to know.!!!

so do we ever get a link?

I'm amused by the number of different definitions of taboos and levels of morality we all have within the same, shared, illicit hobby. Originally Posted by MrGiz

But... I'm disappointed to see the same olde double standard in place, within the hobby by those who are quick to throw the working girl under the bus and "out" her to her personal world... but would be inversely outraged by the outing of themselves or another brother hobbyist by similarly moraled females on the other side of the equation.
Hypocritically shameful, if you ask me!

Where did anyone say to out her? Besides if he outs her, he outs himself. Thinck mutual self destruction, the cornerstone philosophy of the Cold War.

Edit: I just saw Empty Wallet saying to contact the husband, which is a fail.

So, if she has a pimp an it's not your friend, she ain't your friends wife!
If you did find her attractive,just bone her, get it out of your system! Wouldn't be the first or last!
Any who, to be helpfull, you can fake email/text with a link and questions! Or set up meeting while giving fake room number or just spotting from car to be sure? And go from there? But don't forget to pay for her time! Leave it in the room to be anonymous or whatever. there's ways to take care of that! Anyhow you can always get a pic one way or another!?!

It's never a good idea to be the guy directly informing your friend or confronting a provider. Period!

. . . so do we ever get a link? Originally Posted by RandB fan

Easy , just look for a frequently well reviewed Georgia doubles chick with moles across her body.

Edit: I just saw Empty Wallet saying to contact the husband, which is a fail. Originally Posted by pyramider

Not quite. I started with, "If you think your friend should know..." Whether to contact the husband or not is up to the OP. My advice was a how-to, not a you-should.

Still might be a fail, but a different category of fail.

My friends that know what I do always ask me what I would do if the door opened and there was a friends husband.
My answer? I would say, "I am not getting involved. This is not my business. I know nothing. Have a nice day."

For the most simplest of reasons..
What if they have an agreement? What if it's a personal matter? It's their sex life, not mine. I have no reason to intrude.

He can message me later and say, "Hey just so you know.. We have an agreement." I wouldn't reply.
He could message me later and say, "Please don't tell." And I wouldn't reply.
He could message me later and say, "I realize I have a sex addiction/marriage issues/whatever that I am going to work on." I will not reply.

Bottom line. It is not my business.
There is NO OUTING!!

To the people who say to out her, would you want someone to out you if they felt justified? Remember.. Your acceptable to out reasons may not be the same as the person who outs you.

Alyssa, very well said.

My friends that know what I do always ask me what I would do if the door opened and there was a friends husband.
My answer? I would say, "I am not getting involved. This is not my business. I know nothing. Have a nice day."

For the most simplest of reasons..
What if they have an agreement? What if it's a personal matter? It's their sex life, not mine. I have no reason to intrude.

He can message me later and say, "Hey just so you know.. We have an agreement." I wouldn't reply.
He could message me later and say, "Please don't tell." And I wouldn't reply.
He could message me later and say, "I realize I have a sex addiction/marriage issues/whatever that I am going to work on." I will not reply.

Bottom line. It is not my business.
There is NO OUTING!!

To the people who say to out her, would you want someone to out you if they felt justified? Remember.. Your acceptable to out reasons may not be the same as the person who outs you. Originally Posted by Alyssa Marie

Still over complicating a simple matter of,if his horny take care of it, its not taboo. Would we be here if such things weren't dealt with daily.
Again how many ladies have an SO? I realize most don't at one time, but then again? What percentage of the well paying hobbyists are married? And we need to blush and hide cause this one provider has a husband?:mf_swordfigh t: I think the OP just needs assurance that its OK you found out about your friends this way! Its OK to enjoy if you so chose! Nobody's world is going to collapse as long as he doesn't lose his cool with the situation!

Still over complicating a simple matter of,if his horny take care of it, its not taboo. Would we be here if such things weren't dealt with daily.
Again how many ladies have an SO? I realize most don't at one time, but then again? What percentage of the well paying hobbyists are married? And we need to blush and hide cause this one provider has a husband?:mf_swordfigh t: I think the OP just needs assurance that its OK you found out about your friends this way! Its OK to enjoy if you so chose! Nobody's world is going to collapse as long as he doesn't lose his cool with the situation! Originally Posted by thebuffmantraples

You are comparing one thing with something different. It's not a, "oh my gosh.. A provider is married." It's a, "oh my gosh.. A provider is married to my friend."

I would never knowingly fuck a friend or acquantinces husband without the approval from said friend and no way would I say, "Hey, so your husband showed up at my work today - you cool with me doing this or not?" I just do not meddle in the sex lives of my friends. If we talk about it over dinner, whatever.. But that is for each individual to bring to the table, not for me to pry.

If you're comfortable with doing that, that's on you. I only answer to myself when I go to sleep at night and I am not comfortable with that.

You are comparing one thing with something different. It's not a, "oh my gosh.. A provider is married." It's a, "oh my gosh.. A provider is married to my friend." Originally Posted by Alyssa Marie

What she said! Your interpretation of the the situation is quite out of context thebuffmantraples

KP13...you would not have this dilemma if you had screwed her brains out just prior to finding out she married your friend because the deed would have already been done. In that situation, would you keep it secret or let him know? IOW...are you capable of keeping that sort of secret from your friend? That is the question you are grappling with. Only you know yourself well enough to answer that question. FWIW....I have found out that most people cannot keep such secrets.

You know outing her might get her in trouble. But consider this. He either met her in the hobby and they fell for each other in which case you should not bring up and let them keep it their secret from the world even though you know. Or he knows about the hobby, is OK with it and again you would want to let them keep their presumed veil of secrecy. Or he doesn't know about it in which case he didn't really know her well and rushed things...that is on him.

In any of those three situations, you could still meet with her and follow through with the activities provided you can keep quiet. If you are unable to contain yourself, then don't meet with her.

And if she is the wife but doesn't want to do the deed once she recognizes you, pretend you didn't know or suspect anything about her and keep it to yourself.

What she said! Your interpretation of the the situation is quite out of context thebuffmantraples Originally Posted by kerplunk13

How's that? I'm only going off the info you provided. Is she or is she not your friends wife? That is the question! The rest is just the facts of life! Go ahead change that? Back to my original advice, don't be "that guy! You know the guy? That guy!