What makes your ATF your ATF?

ATF is not something that is 'made'(IT happens...), certain aspects are instantaneous, yet the rest occurs over time (building trust)/redefining lust vs. trueness, only gets better each time Originally Posted by mijo(BFE)

Nicely said.

She makes me feel like a king. That is why she is my ATF.

Having an ATF is building a trust and knowing that you both have each others back when it comes down to things, It's listening and caring that shows thru the most, and knowing that you can have different opinions and never have to ask the question " are we OK about things". It's being with someone who makes time stand still if not but for an hour at a time. Pushing my limits and having me experience new and bold beginnings with patience and understanding is priceless. She knows me better than I do. Yes the utterance of muffled unspoken words is always a good sign things are good with an ATF, that and a nice long hug.

She gets most of your hobby allowance! hehehehe!!!!!

Most???

My ATF is no longer in the biz, She was my exclusive SB up until 2 years ago. What I liked about her, she was petite but yet she was strong willed. She didnt put up with my shit, but she always wanted to spend time with me. She moved on to bigger and better things after she achieved her masters degree and I still talk to her these days. I love a strong willed woman,and she was the best. So I guess my top ATF quality would be her having an attitude, but yet knowing how to push my buttons.

B

For some guys an ATF is defined by the the number and intensity of the orgasms. Nothing else matters.

For others there is a much more complex value function, and it includes real aspects of care and friendship.

Those guys in the first category will never comprehend the second group; they don't have/want it so it doesn't happen. Those in the second category often feel the first group is missing out on a lot.

There is a long continuum from strictly lust to being in love, with lots of room for a true ATF-Friend in between. Originally Posted by Old-T

For those in the second category

Hobby ATF...usually equals a BIG MISTAKE! (Divorce, broken heart, broken wallet)

Hookers don't make good gfs, and whore-mongers don't make good bfs unless they've signed up for pimp school.

Most of the time it's a case of ...She is. You're not, and she's gone as soon as the money is gone, or you develop feelings for her...whichever happens first.

For those in the second category

Hobby ATF...usually equals a BIG MISTAKE! (Divorce, broken heart, broken wallet)

Hookers don't make good gfs, and whore-mongers don't make good bfs unless they've signed up for pimp school.

Most of the time it's a case of ...She is. You're not, and she's gone as soon as the money is gone, or you develop feelings for her...whichever happens first. Originally Posted by Bigh1955

I certainly haven't been playing in the same corner of the world as you have. Probably just viewing in through different lenses.

ATF is a big mistake? Are you saying guys who see a number of different lades should not develope a favorite? Please note: "favorite" doesn't imply "I've fallen madly in love with her".

That's the biggest issue I have with "type 1" guys, they equate any chemistry--any feelings, any liking of the other person as a person--with a full fledged case of puppy love. Most "type 2" guys understand there is a huge variety of friendships that fall short of romance.

I have seen three ladies while on the road the past 7 days.

Two are retired and we went out to dinner different days this week. I enjoy their personalities, think they are good people, really used to enjoy my time when they were working, and hope to keep them as friends a long time. Neither is matrimonial material for me (maybe if I was 20 years younger, but I'm not). Neither asks for a dime, though I usually do pick up the tab when we go out. They are ATF #1 and #1a for me--two very different ladies but both made lasting impressions on me when they were working and have been good friends ever since.

The 3rd was a lady I met for the first time a couple days ago. Had a fantastic evening with her. Plan on seeing her next time I am in town and I have the feeling she could getto be addictive. I doubt I'll be proposing any time soon since she's already married with no plans on changing that.

For those in the second category

Hobby ATF...usually equals a BIG MISTAKE! (Divorce, broken heart, broken wallet)

Hookers don't make good gfs, and whore-mongers don't make good bfs unless they've signed up for pimp school.

Most of the time it's a case of ...She is. You're not, and she's gone as soon as the money is gone, or you develop feelings for her...whichever happens first. Originally Posted by Bigh1955

Ya know when it comes right down to it, your explanation is quite the case almost all of the time. If there ever is an exception it's very far and inbetween.

...ATF is not something that is 'made'(IT happens...), certain aspects are instantaneous, yet the rest occurs over time (building trust)/redefining lust vs. trueness, only gets better each time and with time but not of effort... Originally Posted by mijo(BFE)

Je ne sais quoi

Impossible to answer well, in words! Originally Posted by MrGiz

I would agree with both of these sentiments if this were a discussion of a real world relationship.

Yet, in my case, my old ATF was correctly described as just pure chemistry. We both clicked with each other and were able to suspend reality together - it was pure lust and nothing more. I thoroughly enjoyed the brief time she was my ATF and it was a nice fantasy. Fortunately, I don't have any ATF’s now although I do enjoy those I see or I would be retired.

Good question been wondering this myself +100

I wish I knew. It just sort of happend. It was a combination of alot of things. She can't be replaced and I won't ever forget her. I doubt I would ever have another like her.