A Lady?

IMO, the term "lady" extends beyond what a woman does for a living. I believe the term "lady" and "class" go hand in hand. I've known women that are educated and we'll versed yet they lack the knowledge and fundamentals in proper ettique. Women who want to be treated like ladies should first learn what it is to be a lady. Class, is not to be confused wealth either. You can come from humble origins and be both classy and ladylike. It is knowing where you stand at all times and behaving accordingly. Its how you treat yourself, others, and how you let others treat you. When it comes to being a lady bcd, well don't, just enjoy what you enjoy. Bcd is where both ladies and gentlemen should strip themselves of any social norms. Originally Posted by shouldimaybe

Well said.

I tried to boil all this down and came to this conclusion.
Guys will never truely know if you are a lady until they see you in the RW.

The definition of what does or does not make a lady in the hobby is a fun question
but it can not be answered. OK smart ass why?

Why is because we as men paid to get in the door plain and simple.
We see what the ladies want us to and sometimes what they do not want us to see.
Can we tell who is NOT a lady? yes that is easy thee same way you know when a guy is
a pig in the hobby and RW.
The ladies are called providers because they provide a service. If they speak well, have great service and TCB they are a great business woman.
Ten years ago white rascist men considered the question (at the bar) if they would
let Tiger date their daughter! Why, marketing and packaging and hiding the truth under tons of varnish.

When it is boiled down the hobby is just that. Something to enjoy and escape life for a while.

^^ Rduke your pondering turns me on
I offer 30 mins, not everyone has time for a full hour, does that make me less of a lady??

Kylie, you can be a lady for 30 minutes just as easily as you can for an hour or more. You're smart, I'm sure you already knew that. How you carry yourself in that time is how you'll be remembered, and how you'll be referred to in the future.
People will have a tendency to remember your bad moments longer than the good. It's just human nature. Be careful of the company you keep as well, we are often measured by the magnitude of our friends. Not the multitude.
Be safe and have fun.

Karrie:

My very first post on ECCIE was to start a thread in Diamonds and Tuxedos about this very subject (clickable link).

Take what you read below for what it's worth - I come from the world of tuxedos, balls, dilettantes, society dinners, silverware arrangements and etiquette lessons...and neither the hookers or the johns around here agree with me about much of anything.

That's right. A classy girl's value is not between her legs. It's between her ears. It's her ability to make a man feel special, and wanted by someone whom he finds desirable.

So, where are all the classy girls? I'd say these are the pretty bare-bones requirements:

-A graduate degree isn't required, but I daresay that literacy is. High-school level graduate ability to read, write, and construct a coherent sentence.
-Some basic understanding of current events, and a desire to explore and learn about the things their companion is interested in to enhance conversation.
-An understanding of what a social chameleon is, and how to be one. If you're attending a dinner party, you don't wear a hooker outfit. If the table is discussing subprime interest rates, you don't chime in to talk about your cat.
-The ability to role-play, and enough social grace to be able to pass the barest of scrutiny during introductions. Today your name might be Rebecca from Marketing. Tomorrow,you're Becky from GS - consulting on a merger with me. Why? Because personal companions don't belong at these functions, but I want to WANT you there anyway just to be in the presence of an intoxicatingly beautiful woman.
-Your pictures. Good grief. I'm tired of looking at provider pictures showing pictures of their buttocks, breasts, and legs. If you don't have a professionally taken picture of yourself wearing something elegant that I want to see attached on my arm at a social function, you're not it.
-Willingness to be a travel companion.
-Reasonable expectations for *being* a travel companion. If I want to fly you ($500) to a port to take you on a 7-day all expenses paid cruise in the Caribbean ($1500 for a balcony suite), and your rate is $500/hr...as much as the plane ticket...without some reasonable expectations, that's an $84,000 tab for your companionship. Um...nope. There's an endless list of women who would love to have an all-expenses paid trip to somewhere - ANYWHERE - and would ask for no compensation in return. Intimacy certainly isn't going to be part of the package, but a friendship certainly would be. Think about what the difference is worth.
-Likewise for business trips. If I'm flying somewhere on business, and want to bring a companion to hang out with after a day of meetings....reasonable expectations.
-Did I mention pictures? Security precautions are understandable for non-professional hookers with other obligations, but a classy girl understands that 75-90% of their time with a gentleman is fully clothed, and whether she's pleasant to look at during conversation is probably the biggest deciding factor for whether they're a potential companion. If you don't show your face, what should be your most attractive feature is going unadvertised.

Copyright in the U.S. has spun out of control over the last decade because IP holders have decided that they should be able to patent "XYZ....on the internet." Just because someone figured out how to do something on a computer doesn't make it new or different...or patentable, as appeals courts and the SCOTUS are beginning to affirm.

Likewise, just because a hooker gets a computer doesn't make her new or different. Advertising that you're upscale or elegant doesn't MAKE you so, especially when your profiles, pictures, and websites point to your ideal hotel being payable by the hour. Originally Posted by TravelingGentleman

Hooker is a job. Lady is how you conduct youself in life. A combination of what you say and do. Originally Posted by citizen44

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

This hobby is about an hour of play for pay. If I learn about how well read or well traveled you are during that hour, you're doing a hortible job and I want some money back. We don't care if you are a lady. This is about sucking and fucking, not charity events and discussing MacBeth. Originally Posted by citizen44

I disagree with this wholeheartedly. I think this hobby is about companionship, with the side benefit of sexual gratification.

The dispassionate intercourse you describe has (IMHO) no advantage over masturbating + porn + imagination - which can be acquired for free.

I want my hobby experiences to be about paying for companionship, not play for play. My objection is that most of the profiles I see that advertise companionship are only actually offering P2P.

A hooker offers physical gratification. I suppose a lady hooker offers emotional, intellectual and physical gratification as a complete package.

^^ Rduke your pondering turns me on
I offer 30 mins, not everyone has time for a full hour, does that make me less of a lady?? Originally Posted by Kylie Nicole

Are you asking if taking care of the clients that take care of you makes you less of a Lady?? Catering your menu to meet the needs of great/wanted clients
is the sign of a smart business woman.

A great line from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" is:
The man is the head of the house but the woman is the neck,
and the neck can turn the head any way she wants. Like I said w/o
RW experience men can not judge.

What are you dressin up as for Halloween?

I disagree with this wholeheartedly. I think this hobby is about companionship, with the side benefit of sexual gratification.

The dispassionate intercourse you describe has (IMHO) no advantage over masturbating + porn + imagination - which can be acquired for free.

I want my hobby experiences to be about paying for companionship, not play for play. My objection is that most of the profiles I see that advertise companionship are only actually offering P2P. Originally Posted by TravelingGentleman

You are obviously divorced/widowed and lonely and hoping you can find a girlfriend/wife by paying for her to spend time with you. You are destined for constant disappointment. This isn't match.com. There are no shortcuts or getting around the real world age and looks disparity realities.

You can want paying for pussy to be about companionship all you want, but that's not going to change what this hobby is.

What's listed in 99.99% of menus and reviews? DFK, BBBJ, DATY, MPCFS, CIM, GREEK

What isn't listed: Going to church, cooking classes, dinner parties, deep conversations with a connection, bringing flowers, visiting your mom

You are in this hobby for the wrong reason. Will you ever realize this? I doubt it. It's your money though, so fool yourself all you want.

You can want paying for pussy to be about companionship all you want, but that's not going to change what this hobby is. Originally Posted by citizen44

That's why I said "want" and not "expect."

I want a lot of things that I'll never have, but without aspiring to achieve something, it's never on the radar and you settle for what you have.

Unicorns and Malicorns are creatures of legend for a reason.

OK, I could not stand being just a lurker, so I'm finished with my break. I have to weigh in on this one.

I had an ATF for several years, until she retired. She had a permanent in call and would always arrive right on time, dressed very professionally, as she had a full time job. She always used my name, not "Hi Baby", and always seemed happy to see me. Once we were inside, she became a sexual animal. After the sex, we shared some of our regular lives. Then she would fix her makeup, fix her hair, dress and we would leave to return to civilian life.

She was a provider, but a Lady in every way!

I think I know that lady^^

We've spent many multi hour sessions together, and I never felt I was with a hooker. More like friends getting together for erotic escapades. The money was exchanged of course, but it never felt like it was an integral part of the equation. When she arrived and when she left she was every bit the lady. BCD... a sexual dynamo!
It just felt close as to perfect as I could hope for.

I think I know that lady^^

We've spent many multi hour sessions together, and I never felt I was with a hooker. More like friends getting together for erotic escapades. The money was exchanged of course, but it never felt like it was an integral part of the equation. When she arrived and when she left she was every bit the lady. BCD... a sexual dynamo!
It just felt close as to perfect as I could hope for.
Originally Posted by H.Hardhat

It seems that all your "encounters" is a "I know that lady." What's to believe anymore, shrugs? Whatever, next.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

What do you consider to be a Lady- within the parameters of our hobby?

I ask because there are so many derogatory terms, colloquialisms and other vernacular for escorts. However, I believe there is a clear distinction above and beyond GFE, hooker, etc.

I consider myself a lady because, I am refined, polite and very well spoken. I consider myself a GFE and a Lady-hobbywise because I am cultured, well read, well traveled, dignified, well-mannered and I expect to be spoken to in a respectful way.

What do y'all think? Should there be a demarcation above and beyond GFE, PSE, etc?

I'm not trying to discriminate. I know everyone has their own favorite flavor of ice cream and some always choose their go-to flavor; some connoisseurs want to try a different flavor each time. I begrudge no one this opportunity because we all have our individual tastes.

That being said, some men only want a BNG or car date, some want to take their time; I don't offer certain time frames (for an appointment) as a provider because I think they're unladylike.

Do y'all think there are particulars that exclude a provider from being a Lady and what traits do you identify that define a provider as a Lady?

Let's hear it, sound off!!

XO, Karrie Originally Posted by Karrie Brennan

I get what you are saying, but your choice of what type of appts you offer or not should be based on how you want your business to run, and not based on what feels "lady like" or not. I've met many wonderful, classy women who offer short appts because they prefer that business model. To each their own. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how short or long of an appt it is, we are all doing the same job and the law has a name for that, regardless of how lady-like you are or not.

Don't get emotionally attached to labels. Run your business the way you want and that is working for you, and sleep well knowing you are taking care of number 1.

Best of luck.


Camille Originally Posted by Camille Fox

Interesting topic.

When I was new, I held certain beliefs about this business that to me, seemed to make me feel more "ladylike" in a really tough world.

One, I wouldn't collect my fee upfront, because I thought it was crude. And two, I wouldn't do a 30 minute appointment because I thought that was also a bit base.

I was so dumb.

Anyway, after several years of NEVER having an issue with getting my funds after an appointment, I started having issues with it, including long time clients who I had considered friends.

I got ripped off a few times. And now, I collect my funds up front Old School-like and I also count it. I still feel like a lady.

Lady has always been one of the original four-letter words to me, though.

Second, a few years back when I lowered my rates, I decided to do 30 minute appointments.

Thought that I would turn into a different sort of sex worker when I did so but I LOVE the shorter appointments. More fun. Quick. Often, it's just sexier.

There is some sort of weird poetic purity, in this business, of a smiling and horny guy throwing down some green, quickly pulling down his zipper, taking off his pants and jumping under the covers for a quick romp.

I've discovered that having shorter appointments still ... I remain, a lady. Of sorts.

Referring to the idea of being a "lady" is all syntax in a world where blending words together can greatly assist with a marketing agenda. And also, I'm sure that there is an emotional element associated with referencing the word to oneself.

But it's still just a word. It has no power. Not really.

I never considered myself hoity toity in any fashion but I've run on those circles. I sincerely feel that all of us, regardless of where we are on the Hierarchy of Harlots scale (if a person uses one and most of us do), most will find that we're more alike than different.

Just my thoughts on it.

Ladylike kisses (which sometimes aren't fun at all!),
Elisabeth

+Gold.

Don't take this wrong.... But as a human being... I love you.

And I'm not just sayin, Lady!

And yes, "lady like kisses"..... smh... lol!

Interesting topic.

When I was new, I held certain beliefs about this business that to me, seemed to make me feel more "ladylike" in a really tough world.

I got ripped off a few times. And now, I collect my funds up front Old School-like and I also count it. I still feel like a lady.

Lady has always been one of the original four-letter words to me, though.

Referring to the idea of being a "lady" is all syntax in a world where blending words together can greatly assist with a marketing agenda. And also, I'm sure that there is an emotional element associated with referencing the word to oneself.

But it's still just a word. It has no power. Not really.

I never considered myself hoity toity in any fashion but I've run on those circles. I sincerely feel that all of us, regardless of where we are on the Hierarchy of Harlots scale (if a person uses one and most of us do), most will find that we're more alike than different.

Just my thoughts on it.

Elisabeth Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

Nice perspective from a long term provider. Thank you Elisabeth.
Might I add that while posting on a hooker board you rarely have any say in what others may deem to call you. There will always be those who will refer to you as a whore or hooktard, but I think that would reveal more of their character than yours. I've used the terms myself on occasion, but only after the lady reveals herself in that light. If you are consistent in your character it matters little what others may think of you.

While most of my favorite encounters have been with a more "upscale" type of provider, I've also enjoyed a occasional visit to the dirty little slut as well. I don't think it's derogatory to refer those as sluts because I think they enjoy playing that role.

Did she post taint photos?