Providers. Do you ever feel like your brain is melting? I DO!!!

I think that you have the idea of GFE completely wrong... It's a difference between being sweet and chit chatting and being annoying as hell with small talk that's not going anywhere... Half of you think that GFE is just meeting up with a woman and having DFK. IT'S NOT!!! GFE consist of what you would do with your GF. Talking her on a date, a night on the town, dinner, etc... NOT meeting her in a room just to get the affection that your wife wont give to you. GFE is WAY more than that... Is an EXPERIENCE. Is for you to relax, show her off, let her cater to you for the night. That's a real GFE

I think the OP might want to consider removing GFE from her 411 ad. Originally Posted by tbone2u

you couldn't have said it any better... AND YES I LOVE MEN WHO ARE APPRECIATIVE, FOCUSED, AND NICE... big turn on... and in my post i was talking about someone in particular... But it is a big difference between chit chat to get to know each other and then you have these annoying conversations that lead NO WHERE. That GRINDS MY GEARS... That's what I am talking about... I think some people looked at my post and got offended... Sorry I am BLUNT!!! Doesn't mean that I do not care but sometimes I have to express my views and opinions. I am an adult and I want to have a conversation with one. What I mean asking questions our time is our time... I will not ask questions about your household... that is TOO MUCH. how many kids do you have does your wife know that you are doing this. Do you have a wife and a girlfriend? see what i mean? all those questions are irrelevant... cause what then if he answers. What you won't see the client... I doubt it... That's what I mean... NONE OF THAT IS MY BUSINESS. All I want to know are you safe.

I am going to partially agree and partially disagree with your original comments.

I completely agree that any flood of e-mails numbering in the 100s, or even in a dozen, is excessive. I also agree that men who unduly pry into a lady’s personal information should not do so. Men who try to turn a first date into a romance are wrong.

Where I suspect you and I disagree is in the definition of “unduly”. Quite honestly, comments like, “And OMG I hate those petty questions….CAUSE WHY DO YOU CARE? I don’t” are a huge red compatibility flag to me. I am not implying in any way that you aren’t an honest, quality provider—but I am saying that you are probably not the kind of lady some of us look for. One of the biggest reasons for poor sessions is an assumption by both men and women that everyone here is looking for the same thing. We are not, and that can often lead to a mismatch in expectations. You are not wrong, the lady I spent this weekend with is not wrong, but the two of you appeal to different men.

I don’t know if it is a true reflection of your personality and expectations, but your post—and it’s always dangerous to read a person based upon one post—seems to paint you as a lady who prefers men who are appreciative, skilled, but focused. A man who appreciates beauty, talent, and enthusiasm—but you prefer he keep his mouth closed unless he is moaning or in the middle of DATY.

Nothing wrong with that perspective, but that is not what some of us are looking for. We may be (probably are) a minority, but there are more than just a few of us. My typical evening date is three or four hours including dinner at a nice restaurant. I am a bit older, so even with the sexiest woman who ever lived there will be noticeable amounts of conversational time in between the condom moments. And in those times I absolutely am looking for a lady who not only can engage in pillow talk, opinionated talk, and substantive talk--and also is willing to. Yes, I often ask what her interests are in life because I DO care. Finding some shared interests be it music or cooking or archeology makes dinner conversation and lingering bedroom conversations far more enjoyable. Or what she studies in college, but of course never where she went to school or a list of her professors. Or what kind of food she likes so I can be on the lookout for the appropriate restaurant the next time. I have been with some incredibly stunning ladies who were both polite and also physically quite gifted but I had no desire to see them a second time because I felt there was a ten foot thick steel wall in the middle of the room. I could touch their naked body but their real persona was far away in another place. I have also been with some ladies who have been wonderful companions and friends for many years and I still have no idea about the real name or what city they live in—but I know her views on global warming, what’s on her “must read” list of books, Syria, and which art museum she is most likely to enjoy. By the way, “what is your favorite color” really IS a vital question if I plan on bringing her some handmade earrings from a Hopi silversmith.

I am NOT saying my view of things is better than yours, or that you should change one single thing you believe. I am not saying you shouldn’t post what you posted—I actually wish more guys and ladies WOULD express their views on such opinions because then it is easier to find likely compatible matches which lead to much better experiences for all. I guess what I am asking you to think about is the diversity of expectations in this business and not to fall into a mass generalization that says the world is starkly black and white.

It all comes down to communicating during screening—not only for safety but for likely compatibility. Originally Posted by Old-T

thank you very much

The point is that each hobbyist, through proper research and diligence can find a provider that offers what they are looking for. If all you want is someone to "expend your desire" on and not learn anything about them, you can find that.

If I want so know a bit more about the provider so we can have a nice conversation in between romps, I can also find that.

Neither of us is "right" or "wrong".. we just have different desires and can find the lady or ladies that fit what we seek. Originally Posted by RedLeg505

GFE includes nap time.

GFE to me means a girlfriend experience... That means I can have a discussion with her and be treated like a boy friend for the time I am in the session. Hence the words "Girl Friend Experience"
I guess I am missing your point OP. I don't ask personal questions unless I have seen the lady multiple times and we connect. I don't think I could ever or even want to connect with you.

very well you get it... you just didn't realize it

GFE to me means a girlfriend experience... That means I can have a discussion with her and be treated like a boy friend for the time I am in the session. Hence the words "Girl Friend Experience"
I guess I am missing your point OP. I don't ask personal questions unless I have seen the lady multiple times and we connect. I don't think I could ever or even want to connect with you. Originally Posted by tbone2u

Ok, I think I've grasped the core argument here, thanks Blaze. Yes, all that talking and exchanging information and chatting in between "condom moments".. are to be done BCD once you arrive for the appointment. You do NOT carry on long intimate discussions and chat via emails or text before the appointment. Some nice casual flirty stuff to get things primed is fine, but a discussion of "War and Peace" and Dostoyevski as he pertains to modern literature, should NOT be done via text or email.

Thanks for clarifying the Provider view Blaze. Originally Posted by RedLeg505

Your very welcome, just doing my part to increase my post count. And yes, I totally get what the OP was talking about. Half of the guys know what is and what is not expected with initial contact, and the other half is split IMO. A quarter of them just push the limits because they can and the other quarter are just nervous and do the wrong thing. I'm a nervous chatter'r myself. I also think at times the guys do the "sexting/photos" thing to work themselves up to actually go thru with an appt vs just being horny ol' dogs. As a provider it can be difficult at best to decipher which is which.

wowzerz...my head is spinning making it to page 3 of this thread...I like what Elisabeth Whispers said.It makes sense...Now I feel like having the "nap" that the post had in it about "GFE"

very well you get it... you just didn't realize it
Originally Posted by Deluge Falls

I "got it" young lady before you were born

I understand your frustrations but I have been in and out of the hobby for quite a while although I am new on this site.. I am 60.. I will admit if she is new I definately want to get to know a bit about her and even chat on the phone or online to make sure we both are on the same page. this way its not awkward when we do meet.

mmmmmmm this thrAD reminds me why I love the old dead bar game over this internet crap.

I have gentlemen who come and get right down to the dirty deed, and leave.... and that is a lot of fun. It's very exciting, gets your heart pumping.... sometimes knowing nothing about them is part of why I enjoy them!

On the flip side, I have gentlemen that I also consider to be my BFE (Boyfriend Experience). I enjoy our chit chats between romps, and I like knowing a small bit about their personal lives... making a connection is very much a turn on for me.

Last but not least, there are a few that I would consider to be good friends, in which I correspond with on a regular basis... not to set anything up, just to touch base. Each date we have, the better it gets. It is rather pretty intimate and just like having a real life girlfriend. (or friends with benefits)

I do not share my phone number, so I don't receive the texts or calls like some ladies. I do receive the emails. Even if the gentleman appears to be just emailing me to get a rise during his work day, I'll play along. I like being naughty via email as well. If he becomes rude or annoying, I just simply stop answering. A few of these gentlemen, who start out to just be "time wasters" did eventually come to see me and they are some of my favorite people! We had gotten to know each other through our emails.... it's funny how it works.

I guess I get the OP's point. I think...maybe?
Different styles and as was stated, guys will find what works for them, right?

I won't see someone who doesn't tell me about himself in an email. I want to get a sense of whether or not you would be someone I would want to chat with if we met at a party. Would we have common interests? Are there things you have done, in your life, that make for great stories? Guess I am just not the 'Hi, nice to meet you *kiss kiss* - great, let's go to it* kind of woman.

Very often, I find that certain clients will seek me out because I am a safe person for them to open up with and talk about things besides 'the hobby' - I am honored to be trusted in such a way. Intimacy has far more layers than getting naked w/ another person. That doesn't scratch the surface - I sound like a broken record but, it is about 'connection'.

If someone making small talk w/ you makes you roll your eyes and want to walk away...wow...I don't even know how to react to that.

Being Genuine is as important in the GFE and the 'Girlfriend' part - in my not-so humble opinion.

But, don't ask me how I really feel

LOL - this is why I have nicknamed myself 'the threadkiller'

Do not be hard on yourself pretty lady. This one seemed to have run it's course, I don't think it was your poison pen.