Crazy questions! Wife vs. Providers

I told her we are all different but there are two very general categories, those who don't get enough (quantity or menu) at home and those who are and always have considered themselves players. Originally Posted by Iaintliein

I think you're basically right. A blowjob a day certainly wouldn't hurt. But I also think that "(quantity or menu)" connotes an emphasis on the physical. And for most guys, that's the case -- the great preponderance of reviews are of the "I called, I showed up, we fucked, I came, I left" variety. But I've talked with enough providers and clients to know that there are guys, whom you may want to categorize as a subset of the first group, who see providers to provide the best substitute they can find for something besides the physical that is lacking in their lives. I used to be surprised by girls telling me that they had clients who wanted to do nothing but converse for an hour; I've head such stories often enough that I'm not surprised anymore.

I think you're basically right. A blowjob a day certainly wouldn't hurt. But I also think that "(quantity or menu)" connotes an emphasis on the physical. And for most guys, that's the case -- the great preponderance of reviews are of the "I called, I showed up, we fucked, I came, I left" variety. But I've talked with enough providers and clients to know that there are guys, whom you may want to categorize as a subset of the first group, who see providers to provide the best substitute they can find for something besides the physical that is lacking in their lives. I used to be surprised by girls telling me that they had clients who wanted to do nothing but converse for an hour; I've head such stories often enough that I'm not surprised anymore. Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

Excellent point! I'll add that one reason for my slowing down in the hobby is that things have improved at home, fortunately emotional closeness has never been an issue.

There is no "normal", there is only the most commonly occurring variant.

I couldn't ask my wife to perform TUMA and then give my kids kisses on their cheeks the next morning.

A wife you are stuck with. You may get sex from her but then you have to pay the price afterward and listen to her nag and bitch and whine. A provider once you are done having sex, she'll go away and won't stay around to nag and bitch and whine at you.

If my wife would let me CIM then I probably wouldn't be here.

I agree 100 % with Tornado & Albundy one word for me - menopause , that's why Originally Posted by rexdutchman

+1
Menopause and blood pressure meds make for a very low libido. As long as I don't pester her or bring something home, things stay peaceful. it's not ideal, but it works.

It's cheating. But for the sake of argument, let's say that it technically isn't. You think the wife would be upset? That's way more important than arguing about the definition of cheating.

In my situation, my now ex told me to go outside the marriage to have sex. I told the counselor that I would much rather come home for sex than go out for it. After months and months of feeling made to feel guilty for wanting to have sex with my wife (how selfish of me!), I finally gave in and sought some strange.

Is that cheating? I have no idea, lol.

I agree with Adrienne Baptiste that monogamy is not natural!! Today most wives are having as much sex outside their marriage as their husbands!!! So don't feel guilty about it!!! The wives don't!!!! If your wife is in great shape and working, she is probably being fucked by other men!!! Both husbands and wives have sexual needs which require fucking others!! Providers satisfy both the essential need for variety as well as satisfying fantasies!!! Originally Posted by whitechocolate

So true.

When I with a hobbyist, I sometimes find myself thinking that his wife has got to be fucking other people.

Who knows if the wife is doing the same too...
Cheating is cheating no matter what. I you lie, deceive, hide... it's probably the wrong thing to do.

But also I understand some women (or some men too) love the partner but don't have that "click" sexually anymore. It's a win win situation; you keep your wife happy and fill her needs and I can take care of yours.

Read "the five love languages".

Monogamy is not natural. Originally Posted by Adrienne Baptiste

Have you read *Mating In Captivity*?

Who knows if the wife is doing the same too...
Cheating is cheating no matter what. I you lie, deceive, hide... it's probably the wrong thing to do. Originally Posted by VeronicaTurbay

My wife has a guy friend she sees regularly, and we keep no secrets from one another.

I never plan to get married or have children. Waste of time and money, and too many emotions. It's all fairy tales. I don't think it's cheating to see a provider. If you were in a relationship with another woman, then I would say that is cheating. Any professional business not involving petty emotions is not cheating. Today's marriage is based on "judges," law, and a piece of paper; which is not what marriage should be about to begin with.

I read a reddit a few weeks go after typing it into google, how some guy was pissed because his wife would not give him bj anymore after the first five or six times. She stopped after they got married, and the entire relationship started with the premise that bj MUST be given during any activities. He went down on her plenty of times. I see many men also have problems with girlfriends. I believe in equality among activities. If I'm going DATY and DATO (which I like both), then she is doing BBBJ. If she is doing BBBJ, then I am going DATY and DATO. Simple as that, but I was born a freak. I see many men having problems with wives and girlfriends, and how the usual problem is that the female will not perform certain activities (mostly oral) that a provider will. Also, many think it is demeaning, yet have no problem with the male partner doing it. I mean, who is watching? Santa Clause?

Have you read *Mating In Captivity*? Originally Posted by WacoGuy

This book is so well written and so brutally honest. Explains the dis balanced between love and desire that we all go through. Understanding is the first step to resolving.

Is there something wrong with me? I truly enjoy my time with my wife. I honestly do love her. She tries to fulfill my needs and to no fault of her own, I am still here. This community is the only place I can ask this question. Am I a bad person?

I don't feel like I am cheating because it is totally physical. There are things that providers can do that she won't or can't.

Any who. I just needed to tell someone and I think this is the place that I can unload. (No pun intended)

Thanks y'all. Originally Posted by Nsane_native49

I love it when a gentleman unloads all of his frustrations on me. It always an intense experience because half of the time I'm doing the same thing. Sex and love are to completely different things you can still love your wife while I ride your dick into the sunset

Js...

yup baby well said