It's Not Easy Being Beta

I'd like to join the amateur psychologists who routinely hand out advise to posts such as yours (and I suspect that I'm as qualified to do so as they are), and here it is:

Your problem is that you think so little of yourself that you think any RW lady that would have you isn't worth having, therefore you are incapable of finding any lady to mate with. You carry that same attitude into the hobby world.

Solve your own self-esteem problems and all of the rest of your problems will no longer exist. Originally Posted by Wheretonow

Very true statement, as far as it goes. The problem is, the hobby is the worst place to be when one has self-esteem issues.

I've already have come to enjoy the many wonderful stories, engaging dialogues, and wisdom shown from my short time here. Originally Posted by benssin

Yeah, Eccie can be very entertaining that way. I imagine there are a lot of people that get on here and read and don't ever participate in the hobby. That's OK, but they're missing out on the best part.

I have a...tendency to delay my encounters with a provider that has claimed my hunger.

Well as the others here have responded, this is just not the place for long, drawn-out intros. These ladies are professional providers, time is money. If you waste a bunch of their time trying to chat endlessly and you never end up closing the deal, well it won't take long for word to get around about you. My dad used to say "shit or get off the pot" and that's what you need to do. Or maybe follow Yoda's advice- "do or do not, there is no try". LOL!

Look, I totally get your anxiety about this, I know I had a lot of anxiety coming into the hobby and I imagine just about everyone else did too. My suggestion is to do what I did- start out with some FBSM ladies with L1 finish. You don't have to do anything except lay there, so you don't have to worry about what to do at all. And some of these ladies give damned good massages that'll melt your anxiety away and set you up for a nice finish. It's a great way to ease into the hobby rather than jumping straight to L3 where you might be worrying about your own ability to perform, etc.

and sure this lady will blend well with my unique nature

No, that's the wrong attitude. This isn't a LTR. That's the beauty of hobbying, you get the fun part without the headaches of building a rapport for weeks or months.

I'm the Beta. The friendly geek or nerd, the boy next door, stuck in friend mode and couldn't 'close' the deal.

Another benefit of hobbying is the deal is closed before you ever get to the incall. It is a sure thing, all you have to do is show up with an envelope! Don't think you're the only beta that's hobbying, I guarantee you there are a lot of you here, you're probably part of the silent majority because I imagine most of them never work up the nerve to post. These women are pros, they know how to put an alpha in his place and how to coax a beta out of his shell.

Can I mimic/become like every other successful hobbyist on this board? Or can I be true to myself, be patient, and discover providers that can tolerate this about me?

Believe me, you are not the first shy/ introverted guy that any of these providers have seen. Quit thinking you're some weird anomaly and just get out there and start having some great sex with these ladies.

I never meant to give an impression of "playing around," "dragging you along," "wasting time," or just all talk/no action

They don't take it personally, but they do not accept it professionally. You've got to stop that. Decide if you're going to retreat to the sidelines or get into the game.

To solve a problem I believe one first need define it. A definition, like a thesis statement, is often clearest when written in one sentence.

When you can boil that first post down to one sentence you might be ready to begin change.

Well, since someone decided to relive a thread of a member who was going to cancel his membership, but really looks like he just changed his name.. I just wanted to add,

I once had a beta fish. His name was alpha.

Hardy, har. He had a fun life.

Well, since someone decided to relive a thread of a member who was going to cancel his membership, but really looks like he just changed his name.. I just wanted to add,

I once had a beta fish. His name was alpha.

Hardy, har. He had a fun life. Originally Posted by Alyssa Marie

You named your beta fish Alpha - I find that hilarious. I'm way too geeky for my own good.

LOL.. I thought I had met one of the shyest guys in this life..
Blushing from head to toe, so nervous he couldn't look me in the face, twiddling his fingers when he talked...giggled everytime I touched his leg.

Don't let the shyness fool you, when it came down to it, and he finally relaxed,
that man was a beast in the sheets!
Totally through me off guard,
I think it was the first time I was speechless.
I was like, wtf?
Where did that come from.LOL.

I think he made me blush by the time he got done with me.
haha

So what happens when I'm both Alpha and Beta in one night?

A shy, nerdy Aussie/Brit who's also sensitive? I think I just fell in love. One question though, why the [bleep] haven't you called me?!? :P Take me out to dinner and a movie and then fuck me senseless already! I love taking it slow and spending OTC time getting to know a guy before taking him to bed. There's nothing like flirting over drinks and a movie at the theater. I get so turned on, by the end of the movie, I'm damn near dripping with excitement.

Sending you a pm with my skype info, please call or cam me. You sound perfect.

LOL.. I thought I had met one of the shyest guys in this life..
Blushing from head to toe, so nervous he couldn't look me in the face, twiddling his fingers when he talked...giggled everytime I touched his leg.

Don't let the shyness fool you, when it came down to it, and he finally relaxed,
that man was a beast in the sheets!
Totally through me off guard,
I think it was the first time I was speechless.
I was like, wtf?
Where did that come from.LOL.

I think he made me blush by the time he got done with me.
haha


Originally Posted by melannie_star

Remember my first session with you? Was beyond nervous - just floored of how beautiful you were/are and just smiled like a kid forever. I feel bad for guys that have not met you - they're so cheating themselves.

Boy, talk about over thinking something to DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!