Tonight's Epic: The 4-hour Hard-on

An older friend of mine used to inject his penis in order to get hard. As soon as he turned age 65 he had a penile pump inserted. He waited until age 65 because Medicare would then pay for it. When he had sex with younger women he would tell them it was their tax dollars at work. Kind of like getting screwed twice.

I'm sorry but I gotta call bullshit on this one.

How can a sane human being accidentally get injected with an UNKNOWN DRUG, have their finger swell up and harden, and not only NOT flip the fuck out, but proceed to let some potbelly lipmdick try to fuck her while still remaining calm?

I mean, how did you know at the time that you weren't going to have to have your finger amputated or some shit?

I'm sorry but this story is just a little bit too "epic" for me to believe. Originally Posted by Sweet Discretion

Who said I was sane?

Anybody truly familiar with me will tell you I wouldn't make something like this up. (I don't have to. Like the Chinese curse goes, my life is always "very interesting.") I'm a writer by trade, an ex-journalist who still keeps a longstanding blog, often sharing little snippets of my experiences or things that I find amusing. If it were fiction or a joke, I would say so.

Also, those who know me will tell you I'm level-headed enough to deal with such incidents. I once had a fellow pass out in a hot tub on me. Turns out he had high blood pressure and was on medication, and had been drinking to calm his nerves since I was to be his first provider. Instead of freaking out and running from the hotel room leaving him unconscious in the tub and calling 911 anonymously from the phone booth at the corner 7/11, I hauled him out and revived him, stayed with him until he was coherent, sat there while he called his doctor. I actually have some experience in health care, and I knew that my finger was not going to fall off or have to be cut off from this type of drug, which was plainly labeled. I did take the time to further research the effects on the Internet while the gentleman was otherwise occupied.

This really did occur. I admit to relating it in a tone that would play up the humor of the situation, but that's my whole attitude, making something that happened to me funny and light when others would find it frightening or maddening. Better to laugh than cry.

Crazy..

Kinda reminds me of the time I was with a lady and in the semi-darkness of the room I reached for the Astroglide to sorta help things along. Missed the Astroglide and (in the dark) piciked up a similar sized bottle and proceded to rub the stuff on and IN her. Was NOT the lube but a bottle of ALCOHOL BASED hand sanitizer.
I was embarrassed...she was hot (literally). With a little help from a washrag we were able to continue. No harm done. We laughed about it later....at least I did.

Ms Fancy

I would never want to be at someone else's dinner date.
But I would have loved to be a fly on the wall during that one.
That was hilarious, I want to thank you for making my Sun morning.

OMG. That story is priceless!!:

how ya feeling now sugar??

oh wow! Now this is pure epicness! Great way to start my morning. Glad that you're okay

Fancy keep up the writing. You have great style and a wicked dry humor. You just have one of those lives with a whole bunch of weird turns. And that's before you start downing the Irish nectors!

As my Dad used to say "Son if you think things are dark now just remember they can always go pitch black" Try to analyze that at 6 years old and keep your eyes from not crossing. r

It's been a long time since I've laughed till I cried. Sorry this happened to you but thanks for sharing!

This stuff is sooooo funny, I almost passed out due to lack of oxygen because I couldn't catch my breath from laughing so hard. Fancy, you are a very talented story writer, one of the best short story I have read so far here...on a serious note, hope everything turned out normal after all, with your finger that is. Makes me want to see you just so I can finally meet the legend.

da fawk?!

If you would have given yourself a finger job that night, you may have been able to come in two places at the same time thus allowing your finger erection to go down......

Wow, this is funny as hell. But damn, I would had been mad as hell had that happened to me. You make it funny that your finger had a hard on lol, but I bet that hurt! Good gosh girl!

Too funny! Glad your finger is okay...I had never really witnessed guys inject their cocks until I started doing porn, loads of guys in the industry inject before a scene so I suppose if a guy asked me to help him out I probably wouldn't think anything of it