Neither of these are very good for a relationship. In my case I think being caught with a provider would be worse than having an affair. Not sure why just a sense you get when you know someone a long time.
I agree with Dannie. There's no way I would be able to work it out with my SO if she discovered I was hiring ladies. She would be a little more understanding if she discovered a fling. I am scared of the fling, though. At least in this community, I'm not worried about a girl calling or emailing my SO.
Since I am not a civillian/vanilla girl, I know I think differently from the general population.
Hubby 2.0 saw escorts intermittently while we were together. I did not care about this. What did bother me was the emotional affair he had while we were married.
On the other hand, I know a hobbyist who had his wife find emails from an affair and then later evidence of him seeing providers. She flipped out on both.
So - I really depends on the female/wife/partner. I see the difference between recreational sex and committment, but not all people do.
Here's the way I see it, most wives don't understand the hobby as having some very lovely ladies in it, all they see is a dirty diseased hooker you stuck you dick in and then you came home and fucked her the once a mouth time that she let you grace her golden pussy that she just Lay's there and hoping you hurry up and get it over with.
On the other hand if you have a affair your a rotten bastard that she gave you her soul and she's the best thing that ever happened to you and you would be nowhere without her even tho all she does is watch TV all day and can't even cook are needs a house keeper and let you have some of her golden pussy once a mouth.
Either way your a rotten no good bastard that they gave you the best life you could possible get.
Bottom line if she leaves fine if she stay whatever.
What I don't understand is my wife is nice and pleasant and I have a couple of Buddy's in the same boat they wife's are very nice around other people a caring person but after our second child over 30 years ago and the same with my Buddy's as soon as you climb in bed the ice cubes pop out and it is like a different women gets in bed.
They don't want to give it up but if they knew you were getting it some place else you would get you nuts cut off, It looks to me like if you were getting it some place else and was still coming home she would be OK with that.
My self and buddies try to keep, peace and go to shows, plays and other events to try and make them happy but for some reason women don't think that way and it seams the older I get I'm at a point I'm saying screw keeping the peace no pussy no events and the sad part is she just don't get it so now when she starts bitching I turn the TV volume up and I tell her I am hard of hearing but don't want to wear a hearing aid.
Bottom line if she leaves fine if she stays that's ok too.