Ignoring a reference request

Another time, a lady asked for references, and I gave her two, and the provider said "I don't know ________". It was a well known provider that has like 4o positive reviews. I was like, wtf, u got to be kidding me. Originally Posted by lostforkate

Please define well known provider?? Not by name, but by your terms.
:-)

Please define well known provider?? Not by name, but by your terms.
:-) Originally Posted by SweetElizabeth

Colledge educated

Colledge educated Originally Posted by whosdair

Unfortunately, I had asked the poster , not you.

However, I like to hear your take !!!!!!!!!


Reminds me of HollyWNY..

The fellas fed off anything she stated.

In this BP centric market, how relevant are references anymore?

Then add Whore Wars to the mix; this is not the hobby of 2009.

Every woman for herself, there are obviously alternatives to classic information exchange. Originally Posted by jokacz

I Don't provide references, I tell the women to check my activity here and if that's not good enough, I move on. I rarely have a problem. I don't jump through hoops for the opportunity to spend my money. The women need us as much as we need them. The way I look at it, A first encounter is the woman's chance to earn my business. References are a hassle, I don't like hassles and if that's the way things are going to start, I can only imagine what lies ahead.

I Don't provide references, I tell the women to check my activity here and if that's not good enough, I move on. I rarely have a problem. I don't jump through hoops for the opportunity to spend my money. The women need us as much as we need them. The way I look at it, A first encounter is the woman's chance to earn my business. References are a hassle, I don't like hassles and if that's the way things are going to start, I can only imagine what lies ahead. Originally Posted by drluv1

I can see where your coming from. But you have an online presence. You are already established in the community. Alot of men are lurkers or don't participate in the boards. So thats where references come into play. I don't really think a provider is trying to be difficult if she asks for a reference. It all depends on the individual situation. Sometimes I get very simple emails, very simple. They say: "I would like to meet you." Thats it, nothing else. So from there, I respond by asking if they have ever done this before, if they are verified on P411, ect, if not, do they have refs? I just need to know something about the person who I might be meeting.

I just give them my p411 I.D. If their not familiar with any of the ten or twelve ladies who have ok'd me there I give up and move on. Thats one of the things that's a real pain when your starting out. Having to give names and phone numbers and e mail for references.

I Don't provide references, I tell the women to check my activity here and if that's not good enough, I move on. I rarely have a problem. I don't jump through hoops for the opportunity to spend my money. The women need us as much as we need them. The way I look at it, A first encounter is the woman's chance to earn my business. References are a hassle, I don't like hassles and if that's the way things are going to start, I can only imagine what lies ahead. Originally Posted by drluv1

I kinda feel that way too. Not a big fan of having to provide references but there's a couple ladies on here I really want to see that require them so I'll probably have to do it eventually. I think members here that are active and do reviews should get a break with having to provide references. Too bad the ladies can't participate in the reviews section as they could learn a lot about the members here which could maybe reduce their need for getting references.

fair enough, the provider has an active upstate NY profile, and their own webpage. There activity on the eccie board is just to place ads.

The provider I was trying to make an appointment with apparently has a short list of providers they would accept references from. I was not going to dig up another at that time.

Please define well known provider?? Not by name, but by your terms.
:-) Originally Posted by SweetElizabeth

I Don't provide references, I tell the women to check my activity here and if that's not good enough, I move on. Originally Posted by drluv1

That "should" be sufficient. Unfortunately, that's not always the case.

fair enough, the provider has an active upstate NY profile, and their own webpage. There activity on the eccie board is just to place ads.

The provider I was trying to make an appointment with apparently has a short list of providers they would accept references from. I was not going to dig up another at that time. Originally Posted by lostforkate

Thanks for clarifying!

I use my p411 and date check ids and reference myself here if necessary. Has always worked for me.

I just give them my p411 I.D. If their not familiar with any of the ten or twelve ladies who have ok'd me there I give up and move on. Thats one of the things that's a real pain when your starting out. Having to give names and phone numbers and e mail for references. Originally Posted by Perfect Gentleman

Very well said. Personally, P411 or Datecheck is enough for me, and usually the first thing I ask for is their ID's so I can check their references from there. But when a man doesn't have either of those, or any particular online presence, I have to ask if they have references, and if so, who they are and their contact information. Believe it or not, many hobbyists keep a very low profile, they see ladies but don't post reviews, or chat on boards, or belong to any screening sites either. So they do have references, but no online activity. Many guys have told me they have concerns about their privacy in the hobby, thats why they don't want any "paper trail" so to speak, of their hobbying activity. So they keep all online activity to zero. Just what they tell me.

well..............
i just find that being respectful when posting/emailing will yield dividends in sessions

i did have a travelor offer me a 411 subscription or something ...pretty much to make up for a lacluster performance

and I told her she could stick it where the sun dont shine...TOOTS!

Everyone on here has gotten a no from a provider at one time or another. What I can't understand is why some guys take it personally. It's like when they have been denied something they want it all the more. She's gonna see who she wants to see. Just move on.

Everyone on here has gotten a no from a provider at one time or another. What I can't understand is why some guys take it personally. It's like when they have been denied something they want it all the more. She's gonna see who she wants to see. Just move on. Originally Posted by Perfect Gentleman

I agree. A few times I've had to tell someone no because 1. he didn't have any references 2. Did not belong to any screening sites/no online presence 3. would not allow me to screen him.

So I explain, I cannot take that risk of bumping into LE. Most of these men are first timers. I love breaking in first timers, but I cant just blindly meet any guy who emails me. Once I say No, BOOM! The very next email has all his screening info to prove he isn't LE. So your right, sometimes when you say No, they want to meet you all the more.