When did we throw DISCRETION out the window?!?!?

Damn...I haven't been around much. I see I have missed alot. If this is in regard to a particular person or persons, I hope they are banned and never let back on the board. Outing a provider or hobbyist should never be tolerated. We ALL have way too much to risk. Guys come to boards like Eccie and sites like P411 because they feel it is safer. I know the moderators will do their best to control situations like this.

Anastasia girl I'm liking this thread. Thanks for posting this.

Ok.. please someone explain to me how anyone on this forum ever gets enough info in their hands to out ANYONE!! Originally Posted by DeAnna Luv

People get sloppy with protecting their info, or don't know any better, or think they're bullet proof.

The second provider I ever saw gave me her real name by accident before she'd even seen me. When she'd set up her Yahoo account, she'd used her actual name instead of her hobby name, and it showed up on each email she sent out. Don't know if she even realized it, and she didn't acknowledge when I pointed it out to her, but it got fixed not too much later. As far as I know, she never had any outing issues come up because of it, and last I checked, she was still working under the same provider name.

I wasn't too good at protecting myself early on either. I gave out my name and employment info to the first provider I met, since I didn't know any better. Second provider (the one above), I gave my real first name and where I worked. Not for screening purposes, just general conversation. Wound up fixing something for her through my position at work (my offer, she'd never asked), and still kick myself from time to time for doing something dumb like that which could've gotten me in all kinds of trouble. Used my normal phone number with them and 4 other providers too, I figured I wasn't risking much since I was single.

Those first two providers introduced me to ASPD and P411 early on, and after reading too many horror stories and seeing alternatives to avoid them, I changed my ways. Got a hobby phone, got a bit tighter with information, and learned to verify as much as I could about a provider before giving out even what I'm willing to give out now. Wound up changing jobs, getting a new personal phone number, and moving too. Those weren't planned, but the distance they put between me and my earlier openness make me feel a little safer.

(As an aside, it seems I definitely started off with some great ladies, and if I had to give my personal info to someone, I lucked out and got a couple who were worth my trust. If I were in the same situation and just starting out again, I would be a lot less forthcoming with personally identifying info about myself.)

Not everyone gets so lucky apparently. A provider I saw about a year ago seemed to be pretty tight with her identity. Blurred face and obscured tattoos in her pictures. All first contact was web based, and she didn't give out her number until after screening. Problem was, it seems her phone number wasn't just used for the hobby. These days, I search everything for potential red flags. The boards, Google, BP, and CL (at the time). In this case, Google didn't come back with much, just the usual sites that show with a private cell number... and a classified ad selling a car.

My concern with the ad was that I might've been talking with someone else pretending to be the lady when setting things up; agency, pimp, jealous boyfriend, etc. The ad was definitely hers, and it contained a different email address. Searched again for that to see if she'd gone by a different name or had some more history, but didn't turn up anything. I found out later that it was her personal email address. She didn't realize the ad was still up and got it taken down, though I think she kept the same phone number. Some months later, she wound up retiring (or going very UTR), and the story was that someone had outed her.

I have no idea if using the phone number for both hobby and real world stuff had anything to do with it, but even those who think they've covered everything might have missed something. Either way, the lesson I took was that even if you keep everything else separate, one stray bit of crossover can still leave your world completely open. If you feel you're comfortable putting part of yourself out there, dig around first and make sure that one piece of information doesn't lead to more than you want to share.

Outing is Never acceptable... Tit for Tat or otherwise.

That being said, ECCIE is not and cannot be the Hobby Police. If you have information on this activity, you are welcome to send to the Mods and have them deal with it. You are not Welcome to post that info on ECCIE in an open forum.

PPE Originally Posted by PurplePussyEater

What's the point of sending info to mods if they're not the hobby police and won't do anything?

Also, surely you misspoke in saying an alert should not be placed on someone who has outed another. Mods should be alerted but the rest of us should be in the dark?

When did we throw DISCRETION out the window?!?!? Originally Posted by SexyAnastasia

Some of us haven't...

VD,

Thank you for letting me know that I was unclear.

I did not mean that we would do nothing, just that we do not have staff to run down everything posted and sent to us. There are those that use outing threats to extort people. We try and help. We do take every threat here seriously and will do what we can to keep the hobby and the board safe. If we feel that there is a threat to others we will work with the reporting party to the best of our abilities. We just are not taking on the role of Hobby Police. Not near enough staff or time. P411 and other sites handle that. We will also not post alerts. We do not ban based on 3rd party or off board communications without discussion within mod staff.

I also was unclear on alerts, if you have alertworthy info, please post it. Do not post any Real World info in public forums. No real names, only board or hobby names and no address or phone info. That is not allowed. No medical information, medical conditions are not to be discussed.

Sorry,

One last thing, if they are outing you, they have info you should not have shared. You take on that risk when getting involved in another's life/business.

The best way to be safe, don't share. And I speak from experience here.

PPE

Anyone, male or female, that would exercise such a sad lack of discretion and respect needs to face some dire consequences. It (outing someone) supports the nourishment of base, animal rage. I'm seeing a call to a Tony Soprano type, an abandoned warehouse in S. Oak Cliff, a wooden chair, a gag and a Louisville Slugger.

Meanwhile How 'bout them Cowboys!!!!!

OK,

I think we all get the drift... And this one is drifting dangerously.

PPE