The Importance of Keeping Your Individuality When Married

@Lauren, and others raised on the Queen's English. I love the occasional dip into this spelling. It makes me want to hear the accent, also. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

You mean "aboot"? God you Americans drive me crazy with that

You would be disappointed. I only have an accent when very stressed or upset, and it isn't easily placed because it's a mix.

What I can't get people south of the boarder to understand is we aren't pronouncing "oo" but "ou" and they can't seem to hear the difference. "Aboot" sounds just as ridiculous to us. Another fine pronunciation is the difference between "ee" and "ie" with Eastern European words that most North American's can't distinguish.

You mean "aboot"? God you Americans drive me crazy with that

You would be disappointed. I only have an accent when very stressed or upset, and it isn't easily placed because it's a mix.

What I can't get people south of the boarder to understand is we aren't pronouncing "oo" but "ou" and they can't seem to hear the difference. "Aboot" sounds just as ridiculous to us. Another fine pronunciation is the difference between "ee" and "ie" with Eastern European words that most North American's can't distinguish. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

"Aboot?" Are you referring to the trunk? lol

Actually, I was referring only to the spelling. I will admit that my ear isn't as finely tuned, especially since I spend a lot of my time listening to American English as spoken through a Mexican Spanish accent (Spanish is the person's first language). (You can see the result of munching on back to back burritos in my avatar.) So, I'm pretty far removed from Europe.

I love a good argument because if he does not care enough to fight with you, he probably couldn't care less either way lol. I am not talking drag out fighting where things are thrown across the room, but a good yelling and neck clinching makes for an awesome make-up romp. Originally Posted by London Rayne

.. minus the neck clinching. A good hair pulling will do! Hell Yeah!

Hi Lauren,
I do enjoy your posts as well. It seems to me you have misunderstood me although when it comes to therapy :-). I do think therapy is for the good, over-generalizingly speaking. I had the same experience as you. I have found a therapist that has no problems with what i do, although i have also had one that could not help but frown upon me. It really depends. You misunderstood my criticism for therapy with the fact that i think normative judgements on relationships are wrong and outdated. I myself am psychologist and want to pursue a career as therapist. Nevertheless i see these normative standards in said article as wrong. The landscape of relationships is way too complicated that we can put it all in simple articles.

I have had a bad encounter with a therapist too, as opposed to a good one, i have been abused by a psychoanalyst very early in my career as an escort. I was 18 as well, he was well in his 50ies. He took advantage of the fact that i was having financial problems and that i was very depressed as well. He wanted to trade sexual pleasures with therapy. I agreed. I thought he knew what he was doing and trusted him like a god. I had one session with him and then refused to come again, because i felt strange fucking him in the same room i had therapy with him. Even though i agreed to the content my friends and my future therapist i went to later on told me that its still abuse given his side of the story, no matter if i agree to let myself being abused or not... When i told him so, he got angry and told me - the usual - that women working in that business betray their femininity - and i should be oh so happy he takes care of that - which meant making me feel like a real woman. I mean - gosh - the guy was a psychoanalyst. Later i found that he did that with many collegues of mine. I was so disgusted and i never wanted to trust a therapist ever in my life. Thank goddess i found a nice -female - therapist later on who was openminded and supportive of me.

I also have a client at the moment who has a therapist that told him that its a good idea to see me. I think escorts ARE therapists in one way or the other. We provide an emotional, sensual, sexual outlet within a safe space that can offer the venue for cathartic explorations of the mind and soul. Its a good thing. Nevertheless - i am a crtical psychologist and a critical sexologist and i deserve the right to critizice therapists, even when not all of them are jerks :-) and some of them are really nice people and know what they are doing.That said - a good therapist would never publish such books in the first place. The self help books are written by - more often than not - non-professionals who really have no clue but still want to make money.
If you read Freud or any other Psychoanalyst on matters of society its not THAT easy to understand. Mainstream literature is an easy digestable way to comb people in one closet and to provide easy solutions for complicated issues (best thing is "men are from venus and women from mars - its just ridiculous - and serving the men and women are ssoooo different psychologically bias and gap....yeah)

I think, nevertheless its better to make therapy than to make NOTHING. I know to many people who never grow , have eating disorders or whatnot and never it would come in their mind to consult a therapist, take medication or do something about it. That is what leads into codependence within relationships in the first place. just my five cents.

I do think the word spiritual is highly influenced by catholicism.That is why i don`t particularly like it because its opposed to the meaning of "experience" in a mystical sense. I believe in experiences and in shaping of someones mind!

When i was stating that i want to know of your personal experiences i was referring to the fact that what you stated sounded smart, but lacking experience (sorry, no offense, i recall i am 10 years older than you or even more so?? i don`t expect a mid 20ies person to have the same level of experience like a mid 30ies person, but i am interested in experiences in general hence my question ) . So it would be - for me - mor einteresting to hear experiences from people rather than wise words. I mean we all "know" what we should do, yet we all make mistakes and what not. I mean its easy to say people should be open , honest and whatnot. But i believe that the people who are not honest , are not the ones who don`t know they shouldn`t be. That said, i believe , once embedded w ith in a certain culture, its hard to really choose to get out of it. I recently dated a mormon. I don`t believe he was so happy. But the social embedding was stronger and the punishment he had to face with being honest was just too severe.

I don`t believe that you depend on therapeutic literature, but you presented a question with an article and i voiced my opinion. I do think you are - like we all are - a smart person who contributes valuable input in this forum. I enjoy eccie and i enjoy all the inputs i have read so far. Its a nice forum! Keep up the great spirit! I have to personally say that i enjoy sometimes much more talking to collegues than to the "ordinary" people out there, because of the simple facts that escort are cultivated and smart and more interesting than the usual woman with the usual life. That does not make us angels, but i think - what i encountered at least - we have sometimes higherl levels of ethics and tolerance for others than the so called "normal" people have.
I enjoy your posts too. Sometimes i think my english sucks which contributes to the fact that i might get misunderstood. So its a good practice for me to communicate on the internet....in wichever venue possible..;-)
Thanks Nina

"Aboot?" Are you referring to the trunk? lol

Actually, I was referring only to the spelling. I will admit that my ear isn't as finely tuned, especially since I spend a lot of my time listening to American English as spoken through a Mexican Spanish accent (Spanish is the person's first language). (You can see the result of munching on back to back burritos in my avatar.) So, I'm pretty far removed from Europe. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

lol. dear charles . please please please put on Johnny Depp again, would you ? Please please please.... Big thanks! nina

Yet you do it.

That is the paradox, people that do it to you either think they are justified in doing so or think they are not doing anything wrong. Just as you do. It is the big paradox of life. When more folks grasp this concept the world will be more understanding of others.
Originally Posted by WTF

I have encountered that problem too in many ways in my life. I don`t mean you, Lauren, with that statement, but i see where WTF comes from. Some people do not intentionally lash out on others, yet they make statements in their life about others or - about themselves - that is a big fat lashing out towards others. It would be too personal to make an example but i say something from my experience: I am a sexpositive person risking my life and my reputation to be open and honest and supportive of sexworkers. That said
i have gotten to know people who are not sexpositive and completely heteronormative , yet they have the ignorance to present themelves as sex positive (because it sounds cool??) while hiding behind societies back. These people - as well as the so called feminists who screw men for jobs instead of getting into university and a real job with a real resume ( i have encountered more than one so called feminist escort doing so - it makes my toes curl) - drive me nuts and crazy and i think its so offensive that it drives my blood to boil. There are people out there really working hard and then some brainless ignorants pretend its all a game of words?

Usually these people are not so easy to laid open too, since they tend to hide behind a whola facade of how great they think they are and make everyone believe they are. Except when you "know" their bullshit because you had the chance to look behind the facade.
I mean here on the web everyone can write anything. Who knows? Maybe i am a catholic nun in reality. But i am talking about real people in real life.

;-)
ps. I have written in my blog on wordpress on that matter. feel free to comment if someone is interested.

I agree that pleasure is absolutely essential to well being. However, a philosophy of pleasure alone is far too limiting for growth and the consideration of others. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Hi Lauren, it think you misunderstood me again. I was referring to hedonism in religion vs . ascetic religious branches. YOu were stating that every religion opposes to hedonism for personal growth. I was stating only the ascetic ones (catholicism, mormonism) do, the other ones don`t (several strains of buddhism and hinduism use hedonism as one way or one part of exploring consciousness and personal growth). I never said hedonism alone does the trick. That is a confusion on your part.

Do you know Ken Wilber? He writes about transpersonal psychology. A great guy writing about the stages of consciousness and how to explore them and how religions differ and where they have similarities.

I shall add your suggestion to my reading list.

Have you done any research on sacred prostitution? I think you would enjoy it immensely.

Hi Lauren;

I shall add your suggestion to my reading list.

Have you done any research on sacred prostitution? I think you would enjoy it immensely. Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Do you have any recommendations on sacred prostitution? I have only historically dived into the subject reading for my thesis, and when learning about religions, and most of it was "sex and Reason" from Posner - a great read.

merci!
ps: here`s wilber - i recommend the "spectrum of consciousness" and for introduction into his philosophy or into transpersonal philosophy "a brief history of everything"
http://www.kenwilber.com/professional/books/index.html

Hi Lauren;



Do you have any recommendations on sacred prostitution? I have only historically dived into the subject reading for my thesis, and when learning about religions, and most of it was "sex and Reason" from Posner - a great read.

merci! Originally Posted by ninasastri

Nina, one suggestion: The Chalice and the Blade

I have encountered that problem too in many ways in my life. I don`t mean you, Lauren, with that statement, but i see where WTF comes from. . Originally Posted by ninasastri

HaluaLuYa! Thank God someone can see the light!


I should point out that we all do it, not just Lauren, it is human nature. Not trying to pick on Lauren. The problem is made worse by not acknowledging there is a problem. Looking for your own shortcomings and not others is not easy, especially on a message board. We are like animals puffing ourselves up to detract predators and attract mates. A big charade. Nobody wants to admit their shortcomings but the fact is that the smartest among us is woefully deficient in some field or other.

Damn, and all this time I thought I was perfect.

Nina, one suggestion: The Chalice and the Blade Originally Posted by discreetgent

merci, will check it out right now..

Damn, and all this time I thought I was perfect. Originally Posted by discreetgent

DG, you mean to tell us you aren't?

Coulda fooled me

WTF, does that mean you think I am? lol