Friendships and the hobby

Gee, I guess I really am Lucy Jack Aubery, ALL my female friends are in the hobby. They have all done civilian things with me, out to dinner or drinks, I cook dinner for them and of course one has gone the extra mile for me, thank you, you 50 year old rock star. I was looking at my p411 OKs and found one from THE DANNIE in 2007, neither of us could believe it. Four years and still friends (OK she lost her way for a couple of years) and she is still always the hottest girl in the room and probably the smartest unless Wynter Stark is there.

I'm only interested in a business transaction, not friendship.

I do not want to be friends or have the illusion of friendship with someone whom I have to pay for intimacy. There are only about, say, a few hundred million people in the US that I can be friends with where I don't have to bring a wad of cash.

I'm completely fine with paying for the ladies "time" but I've seen and heard of too much crap that goes down when the boundaries are crossed.

Women are strange and wonderful things. I never had any brothers but I did have four sisters, they are and have been my friends for over 55 years. I have seen them with boy friends, husbands, lovers, F-buddies, ex-husbands and live ins. It never ceases to amaze me the difference in my sisters attitude about men. If they really, really like you then they wonder what your doing every minute of every day. If they kinda like you then a call every now and again is warranted. If they don't like you then a call once a week is "stalking".
Sometimes their husbands are working their asses off trying their hardest to support the family and "He ignores me, he is never home, he travels too much." Other times "He is so clingy and needy."
Sometimes its "I want a baby...he doesn't think we can afford it...." Other times "Damn Kids....I don't know who I am anymore, when is it my time, will I ever be self fulfilled?"
Having viewed a wide arc of relationships that these four women have had gives me pause as to how unfathomable the female mind works when it comes to male relationships. I could tell individual stories about each one but since all women are different it would not be informative to anyone....lets just say if I am "getting along" with a woman on a certain day, performing a certain activity, GOOD Enough for me! I would not have a clue as to whether she wants more or less from my current status with her. Adding money to the equation makes it even more unknowable.
Men are stupid and do not know what a woman wants.....even if they are told verrry slowly in small easy words.....LOL. I love you all!!

I don't even know where to begin on my response to everyone...wow!

I am so glad to know that I am not alone in my feelings.

I understand that no one here, client or otherwise owes me anything. There are so many personalities in the hobby and it makes me really happy to know that even with all of those differences, I can click and have great friendships with some of them. For those that decide to move on...I have to accept it and move on myself. I'm not jaded or angry. I was just looking for opinions.

My heart will always be open....that's just me. Maybe I set myself up for failure? lol


I think friendships in the hobby can be a great thing.. as long as both parties expectations are on the same page. Thanks everyone for your input. I wish that I could respond to everyone who spoke directly to me, but then my post would be a book..lol.

Thanks again!

Women are strange and wonderful things. I never had any brothers but I did have four sisters, they are and have been my friends for over 55 years. I have seen them with boy friends, husbands, lovers, F-buddies, ex-husbands and live ins. It never ceases to amaze me the difference in my sisters attitude about men. If they really, really like you then they wonder what your doing every minute of every day. If they kinda like you then a call every now and again is warranted. If they don't like you then a call once a week is "stalking".
Sometimes their husbands are working their asses off trying their hardest to support the family and "He ignores me, he is never home, he travels too much." Other times "He is so clingy and needy."
Sometimes its "I want a baby...he doesn't think we can afford it...." Other times "Damn Kids....I don't know who I am anymore, when is it my time, will I ever be self fulfilled?"
Having viewed a wide arc of relationships that these four women have had gives me pause as to how unfathomable the female mind works when it comes to male relationships. I could tell individual stories about each one but since all women are different it would not be informative to anyone....lets just say if I am "getting along" with a woman on a certain day, performing a certain activity, GOOD Enough for me! I would not have a clue as to whether she wants more or less from my current status with her. Adding money to the equation makes it even more unknowable.
Men are stupid and do not know what a woman wants.....even if they are told verrry slowly in small easy words.....LOL. I love you all!! Originally Posted by yaddayadda

Now, I understand what my grown son must go through.. he is surrounded by females in the family.

This was a great thread, Reese...you're my heroine...

here I am rambling instead of snuggling in bed with you...mmmmmmmmmm....and please stalk me, email me, attack me on the street and RIP my clothes off...make my day! Originally Posted by Prolongus

Remember, you made the offer. I don't want to see an alert thread in a few weeks about how I won't leave you alone and stuff.

This was a great thread, Reese...you're my heroine... Originally Posted by Prolongus

Thanks sweetheart...you certainly know how to make me smile!

Reese,
Great thread and excellent posts, well said and thought provoking. It's posts like these that make me really want to meet you, and yet a little afraid to. Maybe I can explain why. Been thinking about this since I read the original post last night, and really want to write a coherent, thoughtful response but it's awfully difficult. Here my best attempt.

As I read this board, I feel like the people become real to me through their posts. Some of them, especially some of the ladies, seem like people I would really like to get to know. But, I have the impression that most ladies want you to walk away at the end of the hour and that's the end of it unless you're setting up a return visit. Like a couple of people posted above, I'm not sure that a brutally cold business transaction like that is my style. Perhaps I read this board too much like I'm looking for a friend and not a provider. I know it's not a dating site like match.com or a place for making friend connections, but looking at it as all business seems a little too cold for me. Perhaps that's why I've remained basically a lurker for so long and not really become an active participant.

This thread is also hard to read because it hits close to home. I know a lady that I consider a friend, perhaps a very close friend. We talk and text to check on each other, not every day but often. We've had lunch a number of times and hung out at the mall a few times. We gave each other birthday parties this year, and the gift she got me was the best one I got this year. I'm pretty sure the reverse was also true. When there's turmoil in her life, I'm often one of the first people she calls and it's not about money. Sound like a friend? It does to me. But, because she's an SC dancer it's still true that a majority of the time I'm still a customer. Conventional wisdom on this board says "she's a stripper, she's NOT your friend", and you're walking on thin ice if you think you are the exception to the rule. We've talked about remaining friends and staying in touch for the long term, but will it really happen? It feels like a real friendship, but when business is involved and the lines get blurry can you ever really know? I think the only time I will know for sure is when I quit going to the club or she gets out of the business. If we're still talking 6 months later, then it was real.

You asked about walking away. I've considered (and rejected) walking away for defensive purposes. Even though it's not a "relationship" per se, the longer this goes on the more it will hurt when we do part ways if it doesn't continue. But, I stick with it because she's too great of a friend to abandon and it feels really good to have a friend like that in my life.

Now, I suppose I've probably scared off every lady on the board that would ever have considered seeing me. I also don't know if any of this even remotely relates to your original post. The lesson for me, I think, is that mixing business and friendship in this context is probably very risky but every once in a while it's worth taking a chance.

Reese,
Great thread and excellent posts, well said and thought provoking. It's posts like these that make me really want to meet you, and yet a little afraid to. Maybe I can explain why. Been thinking about this since I read the original post last night, and really want to write a coherent, thoughtful response but it's awfully difficult. Here my best attempt.

As I read this board, I feel like the people become real to me through their posts. Some of them, especially some of the ladies, seem like people I would really like to get to know. But, I have the impression that most ladies want you to walk away at the end of the hour and that's the end of it unless you're setting up a return visit. Like a couple of people posted above, I'm not sure that a brutally cold business transaction like that is my style. Perhaps I read this board too much like I'm looking for a friend and not a provider. I know it's not a dating site like match.com or a place for making friend connections, but looking at it as all business seems a little too cold for me. Perhaps that's why I've remained basically a lurker for so long and not really become an active participant.

This thread is also hard to read because it hits close to home. I know a lady that I consider a friend, perhaps a very close friend. We talk and text to check on each other, not every day but often. We've had lunch a number of times and hung out at the mall a few times. We gave each other birthday parties this year, and the gift she got me was the best one I got this year. I'm pretty sure the reverse was also true. When there's turmoil in her life, I'm often one of the first people she calls and it's not about money. Sound like a friend? It does to me. But, because she's an SC dancer it's still true that a majority of the time I'm still a customer. Conventional wisdom on this board says "she's a stripper, she's NOT your friend", and you're walking on thin ice if you think you are the exception to the rule. We've talked about remaining friends and staying in touch for the long term, but will it really happen? It feels like a real friendship, but when business is involved and the lines get blurry can you ever really know? I think the only time I will know for sure is when I quit going to the club or she gets out of the business. If we're still talking 6 months later, then it was real.

You asked about walking away. I've considered (and rejected) walking away for defensive purposes. Even though it's not a "relationship" per se, the longer this goes on the more it will hurt when we do part ways if it doesn't continue. But, I stick with it because she's too great of a friend to abandon and it feels really good to have a friend like that in my life.

Now, I suppose I've probably scared off every lady on the board that would ever have considered seeing me. I also don't know if any of this even remotely relates to your original post. The lesson for me, I think, is that mixing business and friendship in this context is probably very risky but every once in a while it's worth taking a chance. Originally Posted by billw1032

Thank you for your honest post. I am more than sure that you didn't scare any ladies off. Certainly not me.

The last sentence of your post really hits home for me. I think Friendship and Love is always worth the risk. I received a message last night that said, "the memories will always be yours." Even when people walk out of your life...you will always have those good memories.

Thanks guys, for the memories.

Reese,
Great thread and excellent posts, well said and thought provoking. It's posts like these that make me really want to meet you, and yet a little afraid to. Maybe I can explain why. Been thinking about this since I read the original post last night, and really want to write a coherent, thoughtful response but it's awfully difficult. Here my best attempt.

As I read this board, I feel like the people become real to me through their posts. Some of them, especially some of the ladies, seem like people I would really like to get to know. But, I have the impression that most ladies want you to walk away at the end of the hour and that's the end of it unless you're setting up a return visit. Like a couple of people posted above, I'm not sure that a brutally cold business transaction like that is my style. Perhaps I read this board too much like I'm looking for a friend and not a provider. I know it's not a dating site like match.com or a place for making friend connections, but looking at it as all business seems a little too cold for me. Perhaps that's why I've remained basically a lurker for so long and not really become an active participant.

This thread is also hard to read because it hits close to home. I know a lady that I consider a friend, perhaps a very close friend. We talk and text to check on each other, not every day but often. We've had lunch a number of times and hung out at the mall a few times. We gave each other birthday parties this year, and the gift she got me was the best one I got this year. I'm pretty sure the reverse was also true. When there's turmoil in her life, I'm often one of the first people she calls and it's not about money. Sound like a friend? It does to me. But, because she's an SC dancer it's still true that a majority of the time I'm still a customer. Conventional wisdom on this board says "she's a stripper, she's NOT your friend", and you're walking on thin ice if you think you are the exception to the rule. We've talked about remaining friends and staying in touch for the long term, but will it really happen? It feels like a real friendship, but when business is involved and the lines get blurry can you ever really know? I think the only time I will know for sure is when I quit going to the club or she gets out of the business. If we're still talking 6 months later, then it was real.

You asked about walking away. I've considered (and rejected) walking away for defensive purposes. Even though it's not a "relationship" per se, the longer this goes on the more it will hurt when we do part ways if it doesn't continue. But, I stick with it because she's too great of a friend to abandon and it feels really good to have a friend like that in my life.

Now, I suppose I've probably scared off every lady on the board that would ever have considered seeing me. I also don't know if any of this even remotely relates to your original post. The lesson for me, I think, is that mixing business and friendship in this context is probably very risky but every once in a while it's worth taking a chance. Originally Posted by billw1032

This states what I was trying to say much better. I am glad I am not the only one with this concern.

Hell i have yet to meet the beautiful provocative Reese but i find myself wishing she would stalk me!!!!!!!

Reese, love ya, girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My experience has been the ones I've wanted to get to know a little better on a more personal level are not as receptive, and the ones who've wanted to get to know me I've pushed away from as well. It's tough but at the end of the day it's just business.

I'd truly love to get to know my ATF but it's obvious she's not interested in doing so, perhaps that's for the best...

My experience has been the ones I've wanted to get to know a little better on a more personal level are not as receptive, and the ones who've wanted to get to know me I've pushed away from as well. It's tough but at the end of the day it's just business.

I'd truly love to get to know my ATF but it's obvious she's not interested in doing so, perhaps that's for the best... Originally Posted by Precision45

truer words have never been spoken.
funny how that works.

We become other people when we enter the hobby so it is definitely hard to keep friendships when the initial contact is based primarily on business or no strings pleasure. It is hard to tell if what we feel is real or not.