Relationships Beyond The Hobby

Once a man sees you as a prostitute he will always see you that way..... and that truth will eventually rear it's ugly head...no pun intended. Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman

We will agree to disagree on this.

We will agree to disagree on this. Originally Posted by discreetgent

It depends. I had to go thru this once too. I was with a man who said he has no problem with escorts, but in reality he did all to keep me away from others. Sometimes the prejudices are not so aware to peoples consciousness. Sometimes the escorts are not even out about their jobs themselves, so why would a man respect something they don`t even respect themselves.

That said, my experience differed on that subject too. I had a 7 year long relationship with a 30 year older man when i was 18 and we are still great friends , but he required i give up my job so i can be his official girlfriend. He always dated escorts, he says he rather has a fight with an escort than a regular conversation with an ordinary woman, because all ordinary women thing about is marriage and kids and it bores him, or they want to get him to marry them and make them kids and that annoys him too. Escorts usually are more intellectual and interesting. So i was - together with another woman - his official girlfriend. He is an attorney so he wanted me to stop this work for his reputation. Even though everyone could have guessed where we got to know each other from its a little different to do this job and eventually encounter his collegues. BEsides he simply did not want me to do that job while i was wiht him and he paifd me for giving the job up. I did so. He took care of me and was quite authentic . I learned the most from him, he shaped my personality like no other.

Then i dated a married guy with whom evrything was perfect, until he chose to tell his wife about me. Long story short - the insults and stuff i had to endure going thru this turmoils is something that has hurt me beyond belief and i was seriously questioning who the guy was i shared so many years with. He claimed to be tolerant, but he wasn`t really. It all came up when his wife began to judge me and he defended her and even told her stuff about me to make her feel better. So in this regard i agree that a whore is only a whore for some. I regret i did not let him pay for me, because no matter what happened, i was always just the whore in all conversation. He told his wife that with me it was "just sex" even though he told me he loved me (and numerous other escorts too who he banged fro free and still does) and i was seriously hurt, because if it was "just sex" then why not keep a paid arrangement?
Of course his wife knew he loved me too, but still, the fact that he even used my work to explain our relationship AND degrade me in front of her to make her feel better shows - that a whore will always be just a whore.
I really felt like the most stupid dumbass for not charging a typical client that tells others it was "just sex" with me to get his ass out of marital troubles. There is nothing more derogatory to date an escort for free, claiming to love her and then tell others its just sex - Hell yeah! I mean taht is THE ultimate insult! BEcause if it was just sex, i would not have fucked him for free for so many years and whatnot, right?? So he insulted me on two levels: the love level and the intimacy level. ANd he insulted my work ethics too, by making me look like a stupid hooker for banging him for free.

That said, i am going to say one thing and i don`t mean that dergatory or offensive: Our clients come from a burgeouise level that does not allow them certain freedoms mostly plus they are married mostly (the occasional bohemien like my first ex aside, but they are rare) so that is why they engage in hiring escorts - which is ok, so no judgement there. But - it all can turn like hell when you get outside that context, because of that burgeoisie. I have only dated ONE married men (unlike other s i am not a sucker for being a dirty secret) and that has taught me a lesson i will never forget. Given that, i don`t understand why some women date married men continously and never learn their lesson and suffer a lack of self esteem with it. I was polyamorous so i though the fact that he was married is not my problem, but he made his marriage my issue and even when we were "out" as a couple officially he would not introduce me to his friends and whatnot. Never ever again.

If you read my blog you will see that from my experience it simply can't work. Once a man sees you as a prostitute he will always see you that way..... and that truth will eventually rear it's ugly head...no pun intended. Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman

I agree.

We will agree to disagree on this. Originally Posted by discreetgent

Plus one.
No-one can speak for everyone even when doing similar jobs

C x

If you read my blog you will see that from my experience it simply can't work. Once a man sees you as a prostitute he will always see you that way..... and that truth will eventually rear it's ugly head...no pun intended. Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman

I don't think it's just the man's fault. If he sees you as a prostitute, you will also see him as a client.

It takes two to tango. But with no rhythm you step on each others toes. It's not just the man's fault. It's not just the woman's fault.

It's best not to dance at all.

If you read my blog you will see that from my experience it simply can't work. Once a man sees you as a prostitute he will always see you that way..... and that truth will eventually rear it's ugly head...no pun intended. Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman

Maybe it had something to do with the type of men you chose. All men are not created equal. Although the probability of success is low, if you find the right mixture of man and woman, it's possible.

Maybe it had something to do with the type of men you chose. All men are not created equal. Although the probability of success is low, if you find the right mixture of man and woman, it's possible. Originally Posted by The Nameless One

Maybe so. I chose the wrong one. I'm pretty sure he will always see me as "Naomi"

Has anyone ever pursued or had a relationship that developed in the hobby? Did it work out? Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman

Nah, my wife seriously discourages me from dating while I'm hobbying!?!

Has anyone ever pursued or had a relationship that developed in the hobby? Did it work out? Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman

If you read my blog you will see that from my experience it simply can't work. Once a man sees you as a prostitute he will always see you that way..... and that truth will eventually rear it's ugly head...no pun intended. Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman

We will agree to disagree on this. Originally Posted by discreetgent

Plus one.
No-one can speak for everyone even when doing similar jobs

C x Originally Posted by Camille

I guess you would have to define the definition of the "relationship" in your query.

I can't speak for every man, but I can't imagine that "I" could have a long term monogomous relationship (we might define that as "monogomous love") with a woman I met in the industry if she choose to remain in the industry.

That being said...for me...her past participation in the industry would have less and less impact as time went by. No different than someone's past participation in being involved in drugs would impact me as time went by...or someone's past participation in serial boyfriends would impact me as time went by...or someone's past participation in a previous marriage would impact me as time went by. Yes, there would have to be some time pass between each of those participations, and a full engrossment in this new long term relationship with me...and me with her. But I can't imagine why I would forever think of her as a "prostitute" if she no longer was...and was instead going through life being my mate.

No. I don't believe in starting a relationship on a meeting in which I pay a person to stay away. It's a recipe for disaster. Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Taking a page out of Al Goldstein's book?
He said men don't pay women for sex; they pay for them to leave!

I dated two guys I met as clients a while back. One was really fun and lasted a few years, casually (he had NBA courtside seats...gotta love a man with his priorities straight!); the other wanted to marry me and I was astute enough to rent an apt in Chicago for three months to really get to know him and realized he was the most BORING guy I had ever dated, so ran like hell...not sure it's the right way to start off, but then, what is??

I am semi-honest about what I do when I meet men in my personal life, according to what i think they can handle and what real potential I feel the realtionship has.
I will say this: IMO, the men that can best handle the reality of their lover being in the biz seem to be NYers.
Everyone there is on some kind of hustle.

I have found love outside of the hobby that is just great. We met outside of a hotel that he was staying at when I went to go collect money from a lady when I ran an agency. I was upfront with him from the start. We spent 10 Months getting to know each other before our relationship became sexual. I know him like the back of my hand and he knows me.

He views me providing like any other job. I clock in normal hours and have evenings with him. We don't talk about my clients and he knows that if I have to leave its just work. When I am on tour and he calls I stop everything for him. He is my heart and soul. We have the understanding that if we ever get married then I will stop providing, until them I am gonna Play my ass off!

xoxo Andrea

If you read my blog you will see that from my experience it simply can't work. Once a man sees you as a prostitute he will always see you that way..... and that truth will eventually rear it's ugly head...no pun intended. Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman

But what if the man doesn't see being a prostitute as a bad thing? At least prostitutes are honest about exactly how much money it will take to sleep with them, unlike civvie women who all have a price but won't reveal it and use sex as a weapon.

Twice and both were disasters of ugly proportions. Won't do that again, not worth the problems.


Interesting... I always found it was the women that had that hang-up. I know one of the ones I was involved with could not handle me being with anyone besides her all the while she insisted on being a provider. LOL! Of course, she never did figure out why I walked away from her. Originally Posted by PhantomofTheOpera

In my past relationship we had an agreement in the beginning that if he wanted to play that was all good and well so long as he let me in on it. The only rule was neither of us would be looking for a relationship out of anyone just sex only. Not only that, but I did tell him I wanted to play too, so he had to let me in on the some of the action of the "play dates" he set up!

If you read my blog you will see that from my experience it simply can't work. Once a man sees you as a prostitute he will always see you that way..... and that truth will eventually rear it's ugly head...no pun intended. Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman

I agree. Originally Posted by Naomi4u

It really depends on the man and how well he knows you and how deeply he feels for you. As the expression goes "rose colored glasses".

an incredible body comes with many rewards it must have its drawbacks as well. while a man with an attractive s.o. might feel flattered the odd time a guy checks out his girl it must be difficult for any guy who dates a woman that looks like or is built like valerie or Guilty Pleasures [or so many of the other beautiful women that grace this board. if you take away all of perverts in the hobby but put a woman that looks like valerie [or the many others] in front of any group of men the reaction will be the same. i imagine in the beginning it must be a morale boost and ego trip but after a while having every man undressing your lady with their eyes or daydreaming about banging her even while you have a conversation with them must wear thin. while extreme beauty opens many doors for women like valerie it must be difficult for her and any s.o. to function in regular setting knowing every man really has 1 thing on his mind when around a woman that far off the charts.

Sure, if they were getting money for it Originally Posted by Valerie