Do Providers get attached? - Enjoy your Labor Day Weekend!

i myself know that i dont get strings attached at all but none the less i am very much fun flirty and all around everything that any man could ever want,For me its like going to the movies and seeing your fav star..you become star stuck and yet you know that it is nothing more then me playing the starring role for my hobbiest i am there to do what i need to do and them we are both all the better for it.I see it as if you wish to become attached then why go and see anyone else if all your looking for it that fleeting moment of here i am then cut the strings if your looking for more then find yourself a sugardaddy/sugar momma? right

i myself know that i dont get strings attached at all but none the less i am very much fun flirty and all around everything that any man could ever want,For me its like going to the movies and seeing your fav star..you become star stuck and yet you know that it is nothing more then me playing the starring role for my hobbiest i am there to do what i need to do and them we are both all the better for it.I see it as if you wish to become attached then why go and see anyone else if all your looking for it that fleeting moment of here i am then cut the strings if your looking for more then find yourself a sugardaddy/sugar momma? right Originally Posted by katkisses2000

I am married, all of my men know I am married....we have been for the past 12yrs, and both of us have had other sex partners since the beginning. In fact, how we met was we were both cheating on our spouses with each other, along with others. We shared our sex stories with each other, our lastest endeavers!

What I have with my husband is very special, and very unique. No one can ever come close to it. We have both given way too much to be together...we have sacrificed for each other and have been through lifes toughest times together. We share a house, children, and a life together.

With that being said, I do get very attached to many of my clients. I truely do love them. But I am not looking for a spouse/husband out of them. I am only looking for a great realationship of friendship and great sex. I do not understand why some people don't keep things in perspective and go about it with the wrong intentions. I also do not understand why people are afraid to just be themselves and allow themselves to become attached.

Just MHO!

Post script - Hubby has also had playmates in which he has become very attached to. I have had to hold him just recently as he morned the lost of a great playmate and friend due to her feeling as though she had gotten 'too close' to him, and she broke it off. It was terrible. Getting attached is a great thing, failing to keep it all in perspective is aweful. I really wish she didn't 'over think' the situation and just went with it. They would both still be together enjoying each other.

Hubby has had to be my emotional support in the same situation also. It comes with the territory....but I wouldn't change a damn thing!

With that being said, I do get very attached to many of my clients. I truely do love them. But I am not looking for a spouse/husband out of them. I am only looking for a great realationship of friendship and great sex. I do not understand why some people don't keep things in perspective and go about it with the wrong intentions. I also do not understand why people are afraid to just be themselves and allow themselves to become attached. Originally Posted by Tiffany Cums

Beautiful!

But let me ad that we are all coming at this from different directions and with different circumstances.

You already have a strong attachment and bond with your husband which to some degree makes you immune to romantic entanglements with others; limiting such involvements to fondness and friendship.

Likewise, there are certain proclivities in this regard that vary with personality type. An NT personality, for example, is more able to manifest what I'd call "Love without possession," whereas other personality types would have more difficulty with that sort of thing.

So something that might be perfectly safe for you could be really difficult or perhaps not so emotionally safe for others.

Me? Yeah. There's a provider or two with whom I have some degree of attachment. But I put it in context so its not an issue. Even then, such attachments tend to inhibit formation of similar attachments with others though as our affinity group is limited to only 12-15 people at any point in time.

Laurentius- Can you tell me what an "NT" personality is?
How does one not develop a possessive love?
Interesting thread.

Of course they do. They're human. When chemistry is right, and personality clicks, if she lets her guard down, anything can happen.

However...

The best GFE providers can make a client believe it's happened even when it hasn't. It's a good way to get a regular. Some unethical providers might use it to milk more sessions/cash out of a guy than he'd be otherwise willing to commit.

So if you're a client, and you think that she's fallen for you and you're falling for her, proceed with the utmost caution. Whoever cares less in a relationship is the one with all the power.

Laurentius- Can you tell me what an "NT" personality is?
How does one not develop a possessive love?
Interesting thread. Originally Posted by weedsweeds

Allow me to recommend a book.

Please Understand Me II by David Keirsey

This is a form of personality categorization that started with Jung, was expanded upon by Myers and Briggs and has been expanded upon further by other explorers such as Keirsey.

The four letters represent the outcome of your answers to a short survey, the answers to which identify you as E/I (Expressive/Reserved), N/S (introspective/Observant), T/F (Tough-minded/Friendly) and J/P (Judging/Perceiving).

Our intelligence is more than IQ. How we apply it is filtered by our personality. So an ISFJ with an IQ identical to an INTP would likely follow a very different educational and career path.

And our emotions, believe it or not, do not have an origin outside of our mind. For example, how one reacts emotionally to "tax cuts for the rich" is very much dictated by the conscious content of his mind; as is how one reacts to a woman's flirting.

An NT will observe this and, being someone who innately values self control, will control the conscious content of his mind in order to yield an emotional outcome that is suitable for the circumstance.

So an NT is capable of contextualizing the circumstance such that s/he is able to love the other without feeling possessive. Concerned, yes, but not possessive. In fact, this is sort of a trademark trait of NTs.

But this capacity comes at a price. It is not unusual for people who are not NTs to view them as nearly emotionless; even though their emotional life is quite rich.

Laurentius- Perfectly said and I agree 100%

blowpop- why so negative in your thinking? Not everyone has a guard....and I think the best GFE providers would be the ones who are a lot like me and know how to have 'none possessive' love. Have you read through this thread before you posted? Either you haven't, or you have and you are chalking most of it up as lies.

The four letters represent the outcome of your answers to a short survey, the answers to which identify you as E/I (Expressive/Reserved), N/S (introspective/Observant), T/F (Tough-minded/Friendly) and J/P (Judging/Perceiving). Originally Posted by Laurentius

I thought the first three pairs were: Extroverted/Introverted (which are not the same as outgoing/shy, of course), iNtuitive/Sensing (do you think in abstract/conceptual terms or with specific concrete examples), and Thinking/Feeling (hey, even we Thinkers can be friendly ).

But it's been a while since I read the book.

(Don't worry ladies, I'm an INTP. Maybe a little bit distant, although I do get very attached to a few ladies -- but I have a very low stalker potential.)

MJ,
If I was ever lucky enough to win her heart, that for me would be enough. I truly don't care what she has done in the past nor does what she currently does for her job cause me to think less of her in any way. She truly has a heart of gold and has made me feel more alive than I have since I can't remember when. I would love to be her shining, white knight. But I'm afraid that my armor is dented and has some moss on it. I have everything at home that most men would want, yet I still find myself yearning to spend whatever free time I have with her. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with what I am feeling. I sure didn't plan on meeting someone like her. This definitely has been difficult. Originally Posted by jac01

Jac, I feel ya man! I'm currently dealing with a very similar situation. I never, and I mean never, intended to find a provider that I would click with so intimately. I think about her all the time, and it's concerned me how much. I even tried to see other providers in the hopes that I could somehow lessen the feeling toward my ATF. Guess what? Not a chance. In fact, in a very recent encounter with another provider, I actually found myself talking about my ATF. I'm hopelessly involved, addicted. I keep telling her that she has me "HLS" (which is Hook, Line and Sinker, for those that don't know). Thankfully, money isn't an issue and I am able to see her regularly.

I will say one thing though, no matter what happens. She has made me feel alive again, something that I've been missing for a very long time. For that, I'm eternally grateful to her.

The best GFE providers can make a client believe it's happened even when it hasn't. It's a good way to get a regular. Some unethical providers might use it to milk more sessions/cash out of a guy than he'd be otherwise willing to commit.

So if you're a client, and you think that she's fallen for you and you're falling for her, proceed with the utmost caution. Whoever cares less in a relationship is the one with all the power. Originally Posted by blowpop

This is good advice, and something I've been thinking. Obviously, anyone would like to think the other party is reciprocating with affection. My ATF that I've mentioned is a very smart young lady. She could easily take advantage of me this way. Of course, the problem I'm having is wondering if I mind.....alas, the heart wants what the heart wants. I suppose this is the ultimate problem with searching for a GFE...you might find more than what you were looking for.

I have to admit that I have gotten very attached to one provider here in Dallas, and I have to say I wanted more than just a provider and client relationship. I mean I thought we clicked on so many levels and she loved seeing me, but I have a hard time seeing her now, because I don't want her to leave, so I just do not see her now. Now is that bad? LOL

Well MILF, a gentleman will always defer to a lady, and so I will bow to your observation.

"Nothing is more out of our control, than the desires and
longings of our heart."

Well MILF a gentleman will always defer to a lady and so I will bow to your observation.

Jac I have to agree with everything you have said it is tough when you have an ATF and just want to spend more and more time with her, but circumstances and/or finances preclude that from happening. [/quote]

I thought the first three pairs were: Extroverted/Introverted (which are not the same as outgoing/shy, of course), iNtuitive/Sensing (do you think in abstract/conceptual terms or with specific concrete examples), and Thinking/Feeling (hey, even we Thinkers can be friendly ).

But it's been a while since I read the book.

(Don't worry ladies, I'm an INTP. Maybe a little bit distant, although I do get very attached to a few ladies -- but I have a very low stalker potential.) Originally Posted by Chevalier

Yes, those were the original meanings. But Keirsey gives them different meanings to avoid stereotyping.

I'm an XNTX meaning my scores are the same for I/E and J/P. Basically, like you, I have low stalker potential.

There are some hobbyists I have gotten comfortable with and attached to within the past 4 yrs I have been a provider. I always get sad when they find someone else and move on but I know variety is the spice of life so it's not unexpected. LOL.

Not so far. I have one or two favorites but no attachments.

I can't see how a client can become attached if he's paying. What we pay for is a service that brings us emotional, physical, and mental pleasure, and great providers are great at providing that, but it will most always be provided for a fee. From my perspective a client doesn't become attached, but rather he becomes addicted to the service. That has happened to me a time or two and both times we shared more of ourselves(what we like, how we think,our feelings) than I would have liked.
I am an attractive man with a very attractive character with good bedside skills. I provide just as much a service when I see a provider as she does for me, which I believe most clients do as well, but I'm the only one paying. Therefore, how can a client become attached?
On the other hand, I can see it being more likely the provider becoming attached as a client is not obligated to provide the emotional, mental, or physical part of the service. So when he does it's perceived more likely to be genuine. I'm sure there are times when a provider is very genuine with her "perceived" attachment to a client. IF as a provider you feel a true attachment to a client, then offer him service at no charge. Then you'll see you're not as attached to him as you thought.
I learned this from a reputable provider that thought she was attached to me and wanted our visits with each other to be devoid of compensation. Her reasoning that we could see more of each other that way. Well, you know how long that lasted. I should have done the gentlemanly thing and compensated her for her time anyway, but I didn't and I felt bad not keeping it business. It's back to business. She feels better I feel better and we still have amazing conversation, coupled with amazing sex.
IMHO it's impossible to become attached to someone you have to pay to see. Can you imagine a child becoming attached to parent while having to pay the parent for parenting services?